So...yesterday I had what I'd classify as a "good" day....I went to the supermarket by myself (seems like a minor accomplishment, but some days I feel too dizzy/shaky to manage it)....went to a yoga class for the very first time (and I went by myself!)....got home from the yoga class and took my daily thirty-minute power walk....got home, took a shower, had some dinner, relaxed with a book...felt as well as I've felt in a long time...enough so that I commented upon it to myself....and, I managed all of this while my boyfriend has been away on a business trip (which was causing me a lot of anxiety....I don't like being home alone)....all good, right? Why then have all the same old symptoms returned with a vengenance this morning? I'm lightheaded, shaky, can't concentrate...all the things I've been feeling most days for the last eighteen months....why does this happen? I'm so frustrated by all of this.....I've been listening to Dr Claire Weekes often, and she makes so much sense, I just don't know how to put her words into practice. And every time I start to feel better and then worse, all my old fears of "what if I really am sick?" return....anyone else in the same boat?
"I just don't know how to put her words into practice"
Self-discipline and grounding are techniques you could develop.
In a CBT session, I was told to bring an object that utilises the 5 senses; something I enjoy - taste, touch, sight, sound, smell. The purpose of this was to keep my mind from wandering and to associate it with 'positivity'. I took a jar of marmite.
Basically, once you have found that association, the second you start to feel the onset of panic or symptoms associated with a disorder such as dissociation, go to that 'thing'.
On the other hand, meditation - particularly mindfulness and awareness. I've found meditation to help so many times but it involves first, self-discipline. Second, time for yourself. Third, and most importantly, a calm environment.
I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I can do things without a care in the world and then the next day feel the panic rise when I try to do the same thing. I think that if we could answer that question we'd have cracked it and we could make sure we had more of the good days. However, I still take note of the good days and try and remind myself that there are good days/times as well as the bad ones and that another good day will come soon. I'm currently trying to improve my self-esteem as I know that my good days usually happen when I'm feeling confident and sassy, so that's what I'm aiming for .
anxiety does not disappear overnight. well done for doing those activities on your own though. It shows you are improving gradually. Keep it up.
Richard