I've been thinking about all the mad symptoms and experiences that I've had the last year.
When I feel ok ish I just can't believe what has happened to me over time. Do you all feel the same? I think the mental symptoms have been the worse for me.
I cannot believe that I have been bed bound for a bit (not know,dealing with it slightly better)
The intense anxiety and panic feelings accompanied by palpitations and tightness.
When you know you you are going somewhere you get worked up and really dread going bringing on the panic. I remember a year ago I was so bad with anxiety I would ring my mum up to come over,even in the middle of the night (when my husband was working) I worried about driving taking my kids anywhere. I would get my husband or my parents to drop them off. It seems insane looking back over all this. However I have made myself do things and it HAS been ok.
I feel I have to be in control of where we go and get really anxious if we have to go further away. Looking back I thought I was actually going mad and I even felt like I wanted to go to a relaxing retreat but next day my outlook changed. My poor husband must have wondered what was going on. I was constantly in the doctors surgery and even took myself to A&E twice. I felt ashamed of myself and thought all my family must be so fed up.
On top of the mental part are all the other symptoms
Acid reflux
Burning mouth syndrome
Headaches every day
Adrenal surges
Doom and gloom
No enthusiasm in anything
Tmj
The last month or so I've made myself do more and trying to brake the negative thinking and accept this phase of life. I really want to laugh and be happy with everyone and go places without a thought.
I find work horrendous, I get so anxious and snappy with colleagues, and I am so fatigued all the time. I had to come home after 1 and half hours on a night shift the other night, I just didn;t feel right. It's hard to explain that you just can't hack it. I got so upset driving home, I desperately wanted to talk to someone, but nobody understands US really do they, unless they have or are haveing peri-men- pause themselves.
Hi Michelle... Wow, that is quite a list! I feel as you do, that I've reached the point where I've got to get on with life and be able to enjoy the good times. Since you asked about stories, here's my last 7 months:
January - 3 visits to GP w/UTI symptoms; turned out to be irritation w/no infection but took 10 days' worth of Cipro and had urology referral (see February) before knowing this;
February - persistent urinary urgency led to referrals to urologist and a new gynecologist; Cystoscopy w/normal results; CT scan showed "enlarge ovary"; gyn ordered blood work on hormone levels and cancer markers, along w/vaginal and pelvic ultrasounds that confirmed "ovarian mass" and uterine polyp. Gyn discussed possible diagnoses, warning that high odds of cancer would lead to an oncology referral.
March - scheduled for April surgery b/c "ovarian mass appears solid and we can't tell what it is, so we need to get it out and see"; all lab results normal, though, so gyn "not suspicious" of cancer being likely. No oncology referral. Pre-op testing at hospital at end of month.
April - surgery turns up floating fibroid behind ovary but nothing in ovary; ovary is removed b/c of discoloration; polyps removed from uterus and cervix; all benign. Spent rest of month recovering.
May - post-op evaluation w/gyn; returned to work; had dental cleaning and bite wing x-rays; had check-up with GI Doctor b/c I have Crohn's disease and prescriptions needed refilling.
June - colonoscopy as scheduled every two years w/GI Doctor; all good except small area of active disease; biopsy samples all benign. Sinus infection the following week.
July - clinic visit for irritation/UTI symptoms; waiting to find out if any infection but mild symptoms so far; third round of antibiotics this year!
It may sound weird, but sometimes it feels like someone else went through some of this - definitely the surgery. Do you feel that way about your experiences?
Hi, there, Michelle: All of the symptoms you are having may come with the time of life, however I suspect you have some depression symptoms going on. I have had all the issues you have now. Its simply no fun to be bed ridden and feeling panic and heart palpitations. Which I have had. If your internal medicine doctor cannot prescribe meds for you I suggest you seek a specialist before this gets worse. I was 40 years young when all these symptoms set in. Now I am 70 and all is under control . Sorry you are feeling this way, but you do have a way out seeking medical help.
Everything you have written I am or have gone through. Last fall was the worst time for me with anxiety and health worries. I was positive that I had something serious going on and had 3 visits to the emergency room in one month for chest tightness, lightheaded and feeling like I was going to pass out. Cardiac work up was normal. Had hysterectomy in November with ovaries left in.
I'm still battling the anxiety and health worries but I think it's not as bad as it was. I've also had and sometimes still have:
Burning mouth
Head pressure headaches and headaches behind my eyes and down back of head.
Anxiety and health worries
Acid reflux - this is the worst thing right now and have been dealing with it for the last 2 years.
Hot flashes through the night
Feeling like my internal body temperature is always about 10 degrees above normal
Crashing fatigue and then days of feeling so worn out and no energy to do anything.
I'm sure there is more..lol...I just can't think of them all.
I'm trying not to focus on how I feel. Trying to eat healthy and I've discovered that cutting refined carbs and sugars from my diet has decreased the sluggishness and I've actually lost a few pounds....bonus! I do need to exercise more though.
You have a great attitude Michelle, and I believe that is half the battle!
I could have written this other than the burning mouth. I too was basically housebound for about 3 months last year
Had the frequency and urgency last year too. Ended up being kidney stones. Once I past those it's been ok unless I get super anxious.
Add in swimmy head and muscle tension issues. Was supposed to have an MRI today but I couldn't do it. Too anxious. Plus I don't think it will find anything. Neuro said late life variant migraine. The dizziness.
I know I have anxiety. I've always been a little mentally ocd obsessing about subjects. With peri I think I'm not thinking but I think I'm feeling and that's where the anxiety comes through?
Have you tried Hrt? The anxiety is definitely the worse. When you are not so anxious the physical symptoms aren't as bad . It's a vicious circle but we have no choice to work it out x
We must have been twins....... parted at birth. 2015 was the most awful year i have ever had, or hope to have. I had all your symptoms on top of having fibromyalgia and an operation on my knee (new plastic knee cap and metal trochlea....that's the bit the knee cap runs over!).
Knee op was March and by September I thought I was going mental. Went on HRT patches for 10 weeks but after a meltdown on the 23rd November I was taken off HRT and 2 days later was put on sertraline antidepressant. First 8 days the side effects -were even worse than I was already feeling but after that I've never looked back. Still get hot flushes and certainly don't need the heat were currently experiencing, but I certainly feel more like my normal self. I was very very reluctant to start on antidepressants but I'm now so glad my GP recommended I do so. If I have to take 1 little tablet every day for the rest of my life......bring it on!
Hi, I have been suffering from various symptoms for the last 8 months, mainly 'brain fog', aggitation, anxiety, dizzyness,extreme fatigue and nausea. I started HRT and the symptoms seemed to improve dramatically, especially the doom and gloom and tearfulness.
After 3 months of HRT , for some weeks I experienced worsening symptoms and I assumed this was because the dose was changed. My GP suggested Prozac and gave me Diazepam for the really bad episodes. I opted to go down the supplements route and continue with the lower dose of HRT. Last week I was on holiday and relied on Kalms tablets to get me through the week, as every day I was jittery and anxious. Back home I've had 2 days of feeling relatively 'normal' - I can't believe it and part of me is waiting for it all to start again.
I honestly don't know if all the supplements are working or it's the HRT??? I take Femoston 1/10 and find I'm generally worse during the combined tablet weeks.
You start to research and wonder, 'am I oestrogen dominant', progesterone intolerant',depressed, lacking in some vitamins....
You just don't know what to do for the best and reading about your success with the Sertraline ,I'm wondering if that is the way to go after all, especially if this couple of days relief doesn't continue.
What sort of side effects did you have initially ??
I feel for you. It's frightening isn't it? I actually take sertraline. Have been on it 2 years. It was good to begin. Mine is not so much depression but a buzzing wired feeling, unable to relax. I will get some kalms I think xx
Dear Michelle, you have done Sooooo well. When I think about your posts going back a few months, you have come such a long way. & you are spot on about breaking the negative thinking (like Elizabeth on here is trying to do) which takes strength to do. I totally agree with you if you can get on top of the mental symptoms it makes the physical symptoms easier to cope with. Before I became ill again with colitis, when I was at work, I found everyday life so difficult to deal with before I started hrt. I even walked out of beloved job, but luckily was talked back in by my department manager before I drove off & really got my future into a pickle. Although I am still off work with the colitis, I feel when I am better & go back to work, I will be much better equipped mentally to deal with my fairly stressful job, different personalities at work, & must make a concious effort not to take too much on in the constant quest to please everybody but myself. The true test will be when i go back. I worry that colleagues/managers will see me as a liability because of my sick absence, but when I am there, I am good worker, dedicated to my company, do things properly, & genuinely love my job. My cbt experience is keeping a lid on that worry - people might not even be thinking that of me, but importantly - this thought is tucked away at the back of my mind-not at the forefront consuming me; & I WILL deal with IF i have to WHEN i go back to work. If when I go back, & I truly feel uncomfortable with people, I may even think about changing career. It's not impossible to change path. While I have been off work, this forum has been invaluable to me to talk to women, especially people like you Michelle. I would love to work in some kind of counselling environment, talking & helping people. Or a part time health care assistant in a hospital- I love taking care of people. So for now, I concentrate on getting better. Then I will see how I get on when I go back to work - I do have a lot of friends there, but the company want more & more out of people & I'm not sure I can live upto that anymore despite being a hard worker. We'll see........Big hugs to you Michelle. Always a pleasure to talk to you. xxx
Absolutely Pam. If you have to take "1 little tablet for the rest of your life" to keep you happy, level, able to deal with life, then so be it. Why suffer unneccesarily?xx
I'm 57 and I've never felt so ill in my entire life! I had suicidal thoughts, couldn't eat (I lost 19lbs in about three weeks......good for weight loss, but I've since put it all back on unfortunately lol!) My GP told me I would feel worse before I felt better......boy, was that an understatement. If I'd lived alone I honestly don't know how I would have coped. But after about 5/6 days I suddenly started to feel more "me" and have been fine since. I still get hot sweats, and my brain is like a bucket, but I'll settle for that.
I've always been very upbeat, and taken everything in my stride and someone told me that because of my 'jovial nature' I had further to fall. Just goes to show that this can happen to anyone. NEVER again will I tell someone who is 'a bit down' to try and pull themselves together.......it isn't that easy and I learnt that the hard way.
Sorry just read your previous posts. That answers my questions. I was on mirtazapine for a year. Been off it six months. I still had some anxiety on it so not really sure if I should just go back on it or ride it out x