Hi people. I am meant to be happy and show a happy face. I feel forced, my arm has been twisted and not convinced. My 1 thing to bring happiness is still missing and this week is so frightening. Can I just stop this planet and jump off? I don't want to be here like this. An appointment because my health is crap and 1 because my health has been neglected then 1 more because the thing i'm meant to have is not here because me. What's the easiest way out? I want to go. Truly.
Hi why are you meant to be happy and show a happy face? This isn't in the rules you know so why do you think this? You should never put all your eggs on one basket and think there is only one thing to bring you happiness. There are lots of things and people who make you happy. Happiness comes from within anyway and you can't rely on one thing or person.
I don't think there is an easy way out and even if I knew of one I would never help you to kill yourself. You deserve to be here as much as anyone else. Are you getting any medical help? If not then please get it. x
Hi sam18386 - sorry to read you are feeling this way. I can understand your desire to escape - but first we have to explore every avenue available to address the issues in this life. We cannot be certain what may be in store when we make the decision to end things. Then there is the matter of those we leave behind. The suffering. the self-blame, wondering whether there was something we could have done or didn't do that might have prevented the event. And the guilt - those who may have had a harsh word or disagreement left wondering whether they had contributed or caused the situation. And there are no answers for them. they are left wondering life-long. No, there is no easy way out. Life is about suffering because it's through suffering that we stop and question, search within and without, examine the question to understand the answer.
Hypercat's advice to seek medical help is the best advice you'll get. It's a space for self examination and hands on action to deal with the situation and understand why. Our job is to try absolutely everything before we can say we are entitled to quit.
Hi Hypercat, I've spoken to you several times on here before and it's amazing that people on here still support you when feel your world is falling apart. I feel really despondent about life at the moment, there's so many things that depend on so many others. I feel lost, confused and it's said if you don't have your health you don't have anything. Well mine is falling so I have nothing. I have no health well enough to work, I have no health well enough to cope with life, I am in constant pain, I feel unsupported by my family (well my mother and see 110 per cent), I can't have children, I've failed my commitment to my Catholic marriage and I feel a failure as a female, wife and daughter. In the Catholic faith your meant to get married and have children. I don't go to church at the moment because it breaks my heart to see all the children's faces. They're all mine every single child I see now breaks my heart. I was denied children by an ex-boyfriend so he good in front of his Christian family, so forced me to make medication to stop having a child and now at 45 I have had 29 with no children, the 1 thing I want that would mend the gap in my heart. I feel broken and I feel no-one can now mend me.
Hi Wayne, if you look at the long post I've left you will see I don't want to live like this any more, the worst problem is my physical health which is rubbish. If the doctors could give me pain relief to cope with the physical pain and not just mask it with antidepressants which is all they offer nowadays then I'd listen. I forgot to say I've got an appointment with my doctor today and I am going to tell her I'm sick of being in physical pain. She doesn't give me anything though. It's pain I've had for over 20 years that is getting worse. Thanks for your advice to both of you. Lack of support is what I have off my family I need lots this week. 😔 That's how I feel!
Well join the club then! At least you managed to get married. I never even managed that let alone have children. I do feel I have missed out but on the other hand I like who I am today so maybe it worked out for the best. I don't know where you are from but in the UK where I am, a woman's role isn't just defined as a wife and mother so I have had my own sort of successes but just different to most women. I don't feel like a failure and neither should you.
You are you - a unique and valuable human being and there is no one exactly like you on this earth. Make peace with yourself and accept yourself as you are and look to the future. There is no point in looking backwards as you can't change anything. All this will do is make you miserable. x
Please don't make me cry, I feel so bad today and have done for a few days. When my health really dies so does my sense of hope. I feel like a rag-doll everyone can have a bit of everything this happens. I am no longer me, I don't know who she is?
I forgot to mention I was raped so denied children.
Sorry didn't mean to make you cry. I will but out as obviously my responses aren't helping you. x
Hi Hypercat, you didn't make me cry because you were horrible or wrong but because you reminded me of what I have missing, I am feeling really rubbish anyway. Don't worry I'll sort myself out and it will be ok.
Ok no worries. I am surprised you didn't take some comfort from it though as it shows that you don't have to be a wife and mother to be seen as a 'success' in life. You did years ago but not now.
I wonder if some of your feelings come from the rape and you haven't yet dealt with them? I have been raped too many years ago so if I can help with this at all just pm me. Take care. xx
Hi Hypercat, I have a quick update just to say an appointment I had today ended in disappointment but sort of and sort of not. My rapist took away my child chance forever, it hurts quite a fair bit as it's only today this has happened.