Last year in August I took a large amount of MDMA at a festival, a couple of hours in my whole body went numb and I collapsed when I came round I threw up for a whole 10 minutes! When I came home I wasn't the same person, these disgusting traumatic events started happening in my head, like reality was been rip right out of me! Everyday was dark and disgusting I felt so violently ill! I thought I was literally loosing my mind, going insane! Petrified of life! Eventually I stressed myself out that much I had a panic attack (the first one in my whole life) which resulted me going to hospital, this feeling changed and felt more blurred, I went into depersonalisation, I lost my job because of it. It took me months to finally except that I wasn't going crazy and it was just derpersonalisation, I finally got back into work 5-6 months later, things stated looking up did my CBT, felt more positive with life, stable! The past week symptoms have been getting worse again, then the past two days I have been full of flu, been sick - bed bound, I'm physically getting better, but today the feelings of me going insane have come back and are so intense I have this discomforting feeling in my head (not pain) like a heavy ball at the front of my head, I don't know if I can do this anymore I feel so messed up and twisted, I can barely function with life anymore, please I think this is a last leg for me ... please if anyone's listening help!
Ok so I hope you tested this MDMA cause it sounds like meth, what you had was a too some a scary experience which can cause PTSD. I had this awhile ago with a high dose of LSD but recovered with talking with friends and family. When you think your dieing you have what is called a ego death, you rethink life question reality, happens from either near death experiences or drugs. So you where probably having withdrawals from the drug and that's why you felt I'll for so long. Ok so now where gonna get deep, your not crazy I use to think I was crazy to cause I did a lot of LSD but we are all different that's what makes us great. The problem with society and doctor's is they will make you think your crazy, which will just end up making people even more crazy, here is the best advice I can give don't think about it, live in the moment enjoy every moment with the people around you and really don't think about your past or future and you will be fine, anxiety is worrying. I hope this makes sense cause I know how you feel I've been there and also if you do any drugs stop them they will only make you worse,(weed, alcohol, pills)
Hey Luke, I know what you're going through and how unbareable this feeling in the head can be. Hang in there and keep in mind that this is temporary, and try to find distraction as much as possible. No videogames but movies and music and phonecalls etc.
Your brain is still volnurable from the 'accident' you had, and an infection like the flu agitates the central nervous system and temporarily brings back old symptoms of anxiety. I get the same when I'm ill or sleep deprived.
What helps me best is distraction and taking care of my breathing, and also herbs like rhodiola, eleuthero and valerian.
See if you can call some friends or family today and ask them to come over if possible. Even if they are just hanging around and watching TV or something you will feel better.
This too will pass, you're not going crazy, it's just a bunch of chemicals doing their wicked stuff. You've recovered before, and you will do it again.
I've got a ball in my head similar to yours today. Every time I feel it today I will think of you, my fellow ball head there on the other side of the screen, and send you some good vibes.
Take good care of yourself, and let us know how it goes.
An accident? Lol oh come on, lessons should be learned here, that doing stupid things like this can cause horrific problems. Let's not pretend users of illicit drugs are victims. They are not. everyone deserves a chance to recover, but part of that is to fully 100% accept that a stupid choice was made, and to learn from it and vow to never repeat it