aight so i’m knew to this anxiety thing. until last june i was oblivious to people’s mental health and never really thought about it. it was almost summer and my main and really only concern was how i was going to spend it. i wasn’t worried about my exams or anything in general, until i had my first panic attack watching my friend’s recital. i felt my legs go completely numb, i started sweating and i felt like i was either going to spew chunks in front of everyone or pass out. thankfully this started during the last performance so i got out of there quickly. afterwards my friend and i walked to the beach to wait to be picked up. i love the beach. but the whole time i couldn’t recognize where i was. i felt like i was disconnected from my body. Anyways, i had school the next day and the feelings died down so i went to school and the same thing happened in first period, so i went home. the next time i went back was into my favourite class. it included all of my friends and we pretty much spent every class talking since it was the end of the year. However the feelings came back in here, so i went home again. At this point i had no idea what was going on. Again i was prettt much oblivious to anxiety. One thing i want to point out is that i spent the night before the piano recital with my friends at the beach. to get access to this certain part of the beach we go down this ‘cliff’ trail. anyways, we all hopped the fence except my one friend. this one friend has talked to me about her anxiety and depression before, but, like i said i was oblivious. I tried to help but i didn’t understand it and i’m sad to say i wasn’t the greatest friend to her. ANyways long story short she had a panic attack and went home. again, she opened up to me about it and i tried to help. I just can’t help but wonder that maybe that has to do with why i randomly developed anxiety the next day.
Anyways, i barely finished the school year. Sitting through exams was really tough. Even just sitting in general, for some reason. I thought that once summer started it would be fine. and it was, for about a week until it happened on Canada day waiting in line for ice cream. i felt like i needed to leave at that moment, so i did, and thankfully my friends came with me. The rest of the night was fine and i didn’t have those feelings again as i was outside and not in a small area.
After that things got bad. I wouldn’t see my friends unless we were outside or at the beach. i wouldn’t go in cars or busses unless the windows were down and i’d wait outside when people went into shops. Even public bathrooms, because i felt trapped. However things got so much better in august when i just decided to go anyway. Up until school started i was able to go out for dinner and take transit. Everything was generally good again.
But then school started, and again once i got into a classroom i’d have the feelings again. it happened so much that i just wouldn’t go. it happened in malls again. and whenever i was indoors basically. It’s now october and my attendance at school has been really poor. my counsellor is helping me and i’ve seen her when i feel the feelings again instead of leaving. there were some really good weeks and some bad. I’m writing this on a bad day Lol. i didn’t even go in, and i’m probably going to get suspended. My school counsellor is a very nice lady and she’s helped me a lot but, i just want people to leave me alone. Things were good when i was left alone. Now i have all these doctors and therapists i’m being made to see. They don’t help, i’m sure they can help most people, but not me. I really don’t know what to do. My parents are being stressed and some days i don’t even know why i’m here. The only time i feel like i belong somewhere is when i’m with my friends.
This last part was a bit of a ramble but i think i’m gonna go to the beach to think on this. Thanks if anyone reads.
i just wanna point out that i don’t think it’s social anxiety. When i talk to people i feel better. It’s just the thought of being trapped in a space i guess. That’s why i never get them outdoors. Kayaking and hiking does make me panicky, but for some reason sitting in a desk does.
Amelia,
Anxiety is a strange animal. I was like you....pretty much carefree. Life was good. I was happy 99% of the time. Then one day I felt a strange pain in my left rib cage and I think I must have panicked, because ever since then I am constantly worried about my health. I have developed body shakes, I break out into clammy sweats, I feel detached from reality at times, have body stiffness/soreness and have developed headaches. I have gone through several medical tests and nothing shows. My doctor feels it is severe health anxiety and is treating me for that. I have been on Celexa 20mg for a year, but it is not helping. I just wanted you to know that I understand your struggle as I battle the way I feel physically every day. Hang in there. There's hope for us!
Hi Amelia!
Thanks so much for posting in this forum. I want to start off by saying you are not alone! So many people feel, or have felt exactly as you do now! I'm not sure how old you are but judging from your school talk you are probably a teenager? This is actually a VERY normal time to develop an anxiety disorder. You are dealing with a lot of hormonal changes, and sometimes that's all it takes to make these things come to light.
First things first, I am not a doctor so please do not take what I say as professional opinion... I am however a fellow anxiety sufferer. What you are describing sounds like panic disorder. It's characterized by having multiple panic attacks within a given time period. I'm not sure if you have a trigger. Judging from your post it might be public spaces. There is actually a name for this and it's called agoraphobia which literally translates into, "fear of the market place." Again, I'm not saying that's what you have- all educated guesses.
The good news is that your situation is highly treatable. I noticed how you said that you are seeing doctors/therapists. Have any of them prescribed anything? There are medications you can take specifically if you feel a panic attack coming on and they work wonders. There is also the option to go on an antidepressant, which can decrease the number of panic attacks you experience. If medication is not the avenue you would like to pursue you could also try CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy. It works to rewire your mind, so it relearns situations to feel anxious in/not to feel anxious in.
When you said it got better when you went to these places anyway you were actually doing your own form of CBT called exposure therapy. When you expose yourself to the stimuli that causes your anxiety you can retrain your body not to be anxious in those situations. I used to get panic attacks in large places- and exposure therapy saved me!
Please lean on us here on this forum... also check out AND you are more than welcome to follow my own blog about my personal experience at. Please don't hesitate to reach out if I can be of any more assistance to you.
All my best,
Brianna
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Hi Amelia, I have suffered from panic attacks in the past and some very mild feelings of fear here recently. Most all of it stems from stress. The thing that helps me the most is putting earbuds in my ears and listening to my favorite music. I do this when I'm in the store( espescially walmart), go out for a walk, and cleaning the house. It helps me take my mind off of things that I am stressed about ,and stress usually triggers a panic attack. Triggers for me: Lots of people, confined spaces, not being in your own vehicle to drive home when you want, people "dropping by unannounced" instead of you going to visit them. It doesn't happen all of the time, just out of the blue. 😎I am a very happy person who occasionally suffers with anxiety, but it used to be really bad at one point in my life. I was walking 10 miles a day! I would rather do that instead of taking pills that make you a zombie with more side effects. Find a hobby to help you get your mind focused. Mine is MUSIC AND WALKING☺I hope this helps some.
hey it’s been a bit but i really appreciate your response !! yes, i was diagnosed with panic disorder and agorophbia and im taking 20mg of Prozac a day. i also carry around a clenazapan pill just in case. it’s seeming to work but i still find it difficult with confined areas - hope all is going well with you