Memory lapse/confusion. Help!

Women's health
1

I’ve been doing so well since Christmas (major symptoms before that including depression, panic and severe digestive probs, weight loss etc) and was feeling more positive but have had a rough few days and I’m in a complete panic today…

I was up half the night with a return of severe heartburn, acid, pain under ribs and through to back. I had to take half a valium in the end to help me sleep. The symptoms set me off worrying about terminal causes even though I’ve had a CT scan, endoscopy etc. I’ve had extremely tender breasts for nearly a week even though my period isn’t due. Also carpel tunnel type symptoms and aching joints.

Anyway, I’m always walking into rooms and forgetting what I went in for but this morning scared me. I walk my daughter and her friend to school EVERY morning. The other mum picks them up from school every afternoon EXCEPT Wednesday when I have to pick up my daughter in the afternoon (because her friend has an after school club so her mother collects her later).

I knew it was Tuesday this morning but for some reason I thought I had to pick-up my daughter from school. I actually reminded her that I would pick her up today in the afternoon. She said: “No, Mum, it’s not Wednesday.” For some reason I just could not understand what she meant. I felt totally blank and was still sure that I was picking her up. I had somehow reversed the arrangement in my head – thinking that I picked her up every day EXCEPT Wednesday instead of the opposite. I was saying: “Yes, I know it’s Wednesday tomorrow, that’s why I’m picking you up today.”

But there is no reason that I should think that. We have had the same school arrangements since last September. This went on for at least a minute with me insisting that it’s Tuesday today so I will pick her up. In the end I could see the certainty on my daughter’s face, like she was trying to explain something very simple to me (she is 11). I somehow knew at that point that I must be wrong and she was right but realised I still couldn’t work out why. I felt so scared and confused. I felt so sure I was right about the arrangement but could see from the look on her face that I wasn’t. I felt blank and confused and suddenly very panicky. She explained once more and it finally clicked (all this took at least a minute). I apologised and said I was just tired: “Of course,” I said, “I only pick you up on a Wednesday.”This has really thrown me into a spin. I’ve never felt so confused or disorientated and it’s really scared me. Has anyone else had this sort of thing?

2

Yes! I've had this kind of thing too....it sounds like peri, Ruthie. Such confusion is very scary as you say and I've certainly had times when logic has abandoned me to the extent that I could have argued that black was white. Sometimes I can't even remember what month it is and I have to check the calendar. It sounds like you've had a very rough night and the lack of sleep together with your extreme anxiety about health issues have all conjoined to confuse you. And yes, our children probably think we're either mad or stupid or both. I too keep walking into rooms and forgetting why I'm there. This morning I couldn't find my handbag and honestly considered the idea that I'd put it in the washing machine along with the clothes. I hadn't but honestly what a muddled time it is. Don't be too hard on yourself.

3

Ruthie, you just sound like me......from 2002 onwards!

I've always done 10 things at once - none of them well, but that's just me.  I can be easily distracted but thats a family-thing. (One of my sisters' is mega-bad: think she would have been diagnosed with ADD - honestly I do - if they'd known that term in the late 50s/early 60s!).

I'm forever having to go back upstairs/go back into a room to retrace my steps to remember what I was meant to have done etc.  And although I can remember names from 'Year Dot', I sometimes struggle to get current names right. Recently called son's new girlfriend by his Ex's name: well almost, no sooner as I opened my mouth I knew what I had done and short of dribbling, I tried to blag my way out of it - plain embarrassing!  I just BS'd my way out of that, much to my son's delight!!

Gone are the days of my 'Business Head' where I kept a daily diary pretty well in my head!  I find its so much easier to write things down in a diary now.

Also, when I wake in the night and start raking over something and nothing, I find it really good to have a little pad and pen on my bedside cabinet. Whatever's keeping me awake gets written down, and then I KNOW I can safely go back to sleep!  Sure we all do this anyway?!!

Also finding I'm getting a little OCD about checking things before I go out: oven off, hobs switched off, windows closed, doors shut.  Again, probably just a female-thing that I now do but hadn't in the recent past.

You do have my sympathy re: your daughter. We pick our grandson up from school twice a week.  We check, double-check, text and double-text:  the thought of getting that wrong brings us both out in a cold sweat, let alone worrying how the traffic will be (25mins on a good day, but can be an hour-plus journey some days when the traffic's badfrown!!)

Unfortunately, I just see this as part of 'Me' at the moment.  My husband interprets what I'm trying to say and we have had a few laughs at my 'spoonerisms'.  But I have to say, since I've been taking Menopace Original, for me personally, I've noticed a 100% improvement in my(really bad) aching joints and my overall mood generally, like I feel a bit like the old 'Me' and I'm Back in the Game (to quote the luvverly Mickey Flannaganwink!

Not sure if you're taking anything - HRT, vit/min supplements - but there are lots of women who can give you some great advice regarding the best ones to try to help you with this 'foggy head'-thing.

Go and have a sit down, a nice cuppa and maybe have a float around this brilliant site for some advice.  But I'm sure you'll get lots of replies to your post to reassure you.

Chin Up Kid!

Sx

4

Hi Ruthie

.

I too walk into rooms & forget what I was going to do.

Last week I was putting a box of tampax in the fridge just about to close the door when I realised what I had done.

A few months back I was driving along came to a mini roundabout & could not think for the life of me whether I should give way to the right or left, I've been driving since the age of 17.

Hope the anxiety of it all passes & you can pass it off as a bad day. x

 

5

Hi Shaznay,

 ithink I will give the menopace a try. I take various vits and minerals but to be honest I get really confused with it all. I read the reviews and they look pretty good, so might be worth a try. Had you tried other things before the menopace?

6

You'll be okay dear.  I too forget what I went downstairs for and actually if you go back to the place you were helps big time, and you will remember again.  I do this often.  Good excercise.  😀

I too forget what day it is.  Theres a hormone in your brain that's leaving the system that's why we have brain fog.  We just have to be more alert with things and make lists...post it notes are great!  xxoo

7

Thanks Val, I've put things in odd places too! Some of these symptoms are so new, I think that's what makes them so frightening.

8

Thanks Shaznay,

It all sounds so familiar! I think that's the key though, like you say, to see this phase as just the new 'me' at the moment. I find it hard to accept though. I'm usually very organised and hate this getting days mixed up etc.

I'm not on HRT (yet!). I'm nearly 50 and still getting periods but they are all over the place. Taking St John's Wort, B6, B12, VitD and progesterone cream. The heartburn and indigestion are really bad at the moment. Can't wait for happier days :-)

 

9

That made me laugh Deborah! biggrin Just the sort of thing I would do. I just cannot multi-task any more - everything just gets jumbled up. What makes matters (much) worse for me is that I add a ton of anxiety to every symptom that happens. Thanks for your support.

10

Thanks HotDot7,

You sound very calm. I haven't found the adjustment so easy - I just want to function like I used to. They don't call it The Change for nothing do they. I feel knocked sideways with all these new symptoms sometimes.

11

Yes, Ruthie, it is commun to peri.  And ALL comes together at ONCE.  nobody ever prepared us for that and doctors do not acknowledge that, so do not expect much reasurement from them.  Be always checked for everything, just to be at easy. Good news is that it gets way better. Be patient, hang on.  This forum has lots of good recommendation, some may work for you. And in the last case, there is always HRT, if anything else works for you and if you are willing to try. Welcome and good luck! Xx

 

12

Thanks BellaRubia,

My GP is good and has done lots of checks but will not acknowledge many symptoms as part of peri which leaves me feeling like a mystery.

Some of the physical symptoms can be awful but it's the mental/emotional ones that get to me the most because I don't feel like myself and it affects my confidence - not knowing how each day is going to be and causing more dread and rumination over it all.

I've always just got on with life regardless of how I was feeling but just can't seem to push myself in the same way as before any more. These symptoms can just stop you in your tracks!

13

Awww Ruthie you are very very nice.  I have my moments but things are better than they were.  I cut things out of my life. And just realized we can't do as much as we used to.  Health must come first.  I was running on empty.  I just downsized my life and things got better.  Guess I am not a multi tasker anymore and it's sad but it is peaceful and lovely.  Have a beautiful, peaceful day dear!  xo

14

I poured the water from a pan of peas into the rubbish sack last week....... I'm only 47.... sigh

15

Hi Ruth,

I'm so glad you posted about this.  I have this sort of thing all the time. I have had major panic attacks, IBS, thinking I have early onset Alzheimers, which isnt helped by the fact that I have had whiplash in the past year and a few sports injuries to my head from earlier years, so just think I've somehow damaged my brain and am going gaga.  Have had an MRI scan recently, and endoscopy and colonscopy because I was very aneamic, and lots of blood tests.

I have relied on valium on and off for some years, and take very little now, but trying to take none at all and deal all these awful symptons is really really hard.

I feel totally knackered all the time. I walked to the local supermarket today, and had to look twice every time I crossed the road, I was so worried I'd be knocked over I was so tired.

I do feel for you. You really are not on youre own.

Regards, Carole

 

16

Your GP is the regular kind we find anywere - they know little about perimenopause. As you say, at least, he tested you for everything, as mine did. Even my gyno does not acknowledge the symptoms, so I had more tests, lol.  She is a little younger than me, so she is not "there" yet.  They go by their "books" and their books need update. What reminds me, I do have to find an older gyno.  Changes are she will know what I am talking about, lol.

Point is, you are not alone, you are not crazy, you are not "creating" problems or symptoms. Hold on and be positive, it may take a while, but things will get better. Take care.

xx

 

17

You are welcome, good job we can laugh it off. Hormones Grr smile x

18

I have had times where I have been cofused not knowing what I am doing depressed anxious, and yes it is scary. 

I feel that you should talk to your doctor about being on something for depression andanxieties like Zoloft and ativan help me 

Take a break for yourself and get some relaxation and rest in you need it if you are not sleeping well 

Hope you feel better

19

Hi Ruthie

Now i'm not always sensible, I make a joke of most things, see the funny side of most things, but St Johns Wort....that got me thinking.

That's pretty strong stuff in it's own right and I'm not sure what it safely interacts with, but just be careful about adding other vits/min supplements to that and what you're already taking, just to be safe.

I know I rattle on about Menopace, but for me personally I find it works a treat. I was topping up a bit of Magnesium to the RDA but I'm not sure its for me: I felt a bit 'gutty' with it so I'd dropped it.

I have reintroduced it and still felt a bit 'gutty', so that's not for me for the time being.

Thing is, we can buy all this stuff over-the-counter, but like anything, it can do us more harm than good if we don't use it properly,

even vits and mins.

I only say this as you are already taking Vits B12, B6 and Vit D and they're in Menopace too.

I'd also mention the St Johns Wort to your GP as I'm not sure how this interacts with prescribed meds, especially ADs etc.

Sorry. Just m. Must have picked up the 'worry beads' this morning :-) !

20

Hiya

I hadn't read your whole thread yet but my eye was drawn to 'tampax' and 'fridge'. I thought it was a novel tip for a Peri hot flush!! I wouldn't rule it out tho':-)

Either that or it was a reference to '50 Shades of Grey'!

Sorry, but was i the only one who got a third in, yawned, and threw the book away?! Dont even think the film would have done anything for me either as 'Mr Grey' sounded like the most unsexy, unattractive bloke this side of.....Cyril 'the Perv' Smith!!

Like the film critics said: where was all the sweat? And what about the smells, faces, 'fanny farts' like with proper, good sex?!!! (Yes, I have a great memory :-) !)

Still think the 'frozen tampon' sounds better than fisting or bondage any day but hey, each to their own:-) !!!

I'll leave you all with that thought, and thanks for the tip deborah:-)

Sx