Mental exhaustion

Mental health
1

Hello, has anyone been diagnosied with mental exhaustion?

 My symptoms are; Depression, tiredness, no energy, get out of breath easily, thirsty, crave suger!

 I have been on anti- depressants for 30 years! Give up alcohol 5 years ago, and now i feel my depression is so clear as i masked it with alcohol! Have had a few episodes to cope with in life! Had a very bad spell of depression last year!

 My mind doesn't turn off so am always tired, doc's reckons i'm not getting proper sleep!

 I have a 21 year daughter who has been very troubled but now coming though! However my husband totally spoils her and puts her before me every time! He has no understanding of mental health, i feel i always have prove myself to him! Hates me lieing in bed, even though daughter does day after day! Earlier today he told me he tolerates me! We have been married 25 years, i am 51, 

 i have left them before for about 2 weeks, just to have a break, because they wear me out!

 I have thoughts that i want to leave! But don't have energy to sort it, also i do love him, we have been through so much together!

It's just they do gang up on me, i know husband talks to daughter about me! Then she will scream at me about what dad has said about me!

 Don't get me wrong! I am a strong indepentent woman with lots of friends and close family, it's when i get these feelings of physically and mentally drained, i just can't cope with them!

i'd be grateful for any advise!

2

I haven't been diagnosed with mental exhaustion, but I do have just about all the symptoms you described. I had to give up work in my mid 40's [I am 65] due to severe arthritic problems. I have since had every therapy in a vain attempt to help. I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, gout & cervical spondylosis. My knees are shot, my right hip & lower back give me almost constant pain & I am on a cocktail of anti-inflams, pain killers & other stuff. I live on my own & can get pretty depressed as I have no children, no familly, but do have a few friends that I go out with now & then. I am almost permanently tired, partly because of such interupted sleep pattern due to pain. You are right, in that most people don't understand about how depression can rob you of your life. I have hobbies & interests, but in my dark moments, I just don't want to be bothered. I feel I am sleeping my life away. It is a great pity your hubby & daughter respond to you this way, people think that anyone with depression is a "nutter" & belong in the nut-house. Very cruel & so untrue. Many prominent sportspeople have been diagnosed with it, some have even taken their own lives because they feel ashamed. I have been to phsychiatrists to help me, but they didn't work for me personally. Your hubby & daughter need to be told that their help & understanding is essential in your handling this terrible illness. I am here along with many others, to listen to you if you wish to talk. Don't keep it bottled up. Keep your spirits up.

3

Wow...I have never heard of mental exhaustion as a diagnosis....but I have all the symptoms....even down to the sugar cravings etc.

I am still drinking though and I cannot imagine how I would cope without that escape in the evenings, you did an amazing thing to give up the alcohol.

Do you think the feelings about your nearest and dearest could be a symptom of your depression.....it's easy to think that everyone is plotting against you when you are unwell.  I have felt that way so often.  I feel that my family are talking about me when I am not there, that they have no clue as to what I am feeling.

Sorry, I haven't helped at all, have I?  But I so identified with what you were saying that I just had to reply.

I am so sorry for what you are feeling...it's awful.  I understand.

Pat.

4

Not offically but I can relate to your experiences with what I am experiecing just now....I am finding that it throws my sleep pattern out of the window. I sleep better sometimes during the daytime than at night.

Just finshed a week course of sleeping tablets last week, this week i have been off them but i see my GP on Monday think i need to back on them..

john

5

Hi

You need to start somewhere and sleep is the first place. Ask your doctor for a referral to a Sleep Clinic and have the tests to see if you have Sleep Apnea. I've had it for ages and disrupted sleep makes everything else worse. You don't say what anti depressant you are taking and whether or not this has ever been changed. I was on Sertraline for over six months and my suicidal feelings for even worse. I am now on Fluoxetine (Prozac) and it has worked miracles for me and I am slowly working my way back to full mental health. I think your family are truly wicked and selfish (sorry) and if you feel up to it, I would go away for more than a couple of weeks, absence

may make them see sense. Stay with someone who understands your illness because that is what it is and it's more common than anyone cares to admit. Your mental exhaustion is depression by another name. Good luck, hope you feel better soon, we are all here to help.....

6

Hello, there,do you have a CPN or psychiatrist? What you need is a family talk with the professionals to discuss what is happening in relation to your mental health. Even your GP could facillitate that. However have you thought about talking to RELATE regarding family counselling too.

You and only you can come up with a solution regarding not sleeping at night but being in bed during the day. There are different types of antidepressants, some you take at night so it helps you to sleep. Insomnia can be caused by your thoughts racing, worrying about the problems in your disfunctional relationship with your husband and daughter. I am really strange when it comes to my children. At 21 both of my children wanted to fly the coup. Is she unemployed? Does she pay you rent or something to help pay the household bills? Has she got a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Mental exhaustion is a catagory similar to depression. Pop stars get it working until the early hours of the morning then going to a clubuntil 7am, then having a couple of hours sleep and doing the same thing day after day. Then something gives. (BANG) It is when you are doing everything whith in your life and not slowing down. At 51 and wife and mother to two people who do not understand what you are going through and are probably unhappy that your roll as skivey has come to an end. You might need them to help you out. Its one sided. You do all the work whilst you are depressed and they are living the life of Riley.

Get up in the morning and do something that you have wanted to do for a long time. Put some make up on and just go for a long  bus ride around different routes watching other people going about their daily business. Do your own thing. Remember you are an individual and as such you have rights. I have seen many people of our age separating due to the partner being selfish and wanting everything and giving very little. Learn to develop coping skills and as I said before DO YOUR OWN THING. Regards PETER.

 

7

Hi Peter thanks for your reply and all you others too!

 Peter my daughter is at uni, so home for the summer holidays! She has had a lot of problems, didn't like school, self harming,few suicide attemps, not serious ones, jumping out of windows to go drinking on beach, thank god she wasn't into boys! This was when she was about 15-19, at this time we did have family counselling.

  If feel we as a family have been though quite a lot, when my daughter was 5 we had a another baby daughter but she died after 2 months, so very hard for a young child to understand, but i made sure she had some counselling! When she 9 and moved house few months later had a house fire, no one was home, but our elderly dog, who died from smoke that night, we all moved to a flat for 4 months, when we returned to our house my husband was diagnosed with bowl cancer! 10 years on he is fine!

  Through all this my drinking increased probably a bottle of wine a night, maybe a bit more! However i did function, and daughter only saw me really drunk a few times! So i have guilt, they hate seeing me in bed, maybe because i did used to lie in with hangovers!

 It is only since i gave up drinking 5 years ago that i now realise i suffer with depression!

 However i have made a decision, that i don't care what they think i am going to look after me! Had a nice day today doing what i want!

 The antidepressant i take are clomipramine, up 75mg a day! and all these days using different strengths to help me come through all the bad times! I have tried other antidepressants, but they didnt suit me!

 One last thing, i feel the reason why my husband completely spoils daughter is his own dad commited suicide when he was 21! I think he is terrified if he doesn't do what she wants she may selfharm again or try another suicide attempt!

 Phew! Feels good to write all that down!

 

 

8

It's surprising how theraputic writing things down can be.

9

Well when I saw your letter I made an assumption (Ouch) should never do that but some times I go with my gut instinct. I empathise with you regarding what you have written and well done for doing that. It must have been quite difficult. The other reason I commented is that I have worked with people in a similar situation to you. Keep writing and keep doing what you have set out to do. Go for your achievable goals and increase your self worth and esteem eventually you will develope more coping strategies to deal with these feelings. I still have some papers dealing with problems in a different way. I did a seminar on Brief Solution Focused Therapy and it was very good. Much quicker than Person Centred or even CBT. There was alot of challenging feelings and thoughts. It worked for people who were stuck and not progressing to the next stages. Check it out and try some of the test papers.  Thanks for letting me know that you are actually reading my waffle, lol. Peter

10

Thank you so much Peter, where would i find your papers!

11

Good morning, i'm finding it really good to write my feelings down, and recieving good advice! It's just good to hear different opinions!

 If you read the above, you will find out my troubles and situation, if you do take the trouble to read about me, thank you so much!

  Big row here night before last, i'm lying on my bed watching telly, in comes daughter, a normal conversation then turned into her screaming abuse at me! How dad earns all the money, and i am just lazy etc etc! Ends by slamming my bedroom door nearly taking it off hinges! Husband stays downstairs pretending he cant hear! I was so so upset, tried to talk to husband when he came to bed but not much responce!

   I have a lovely new job 2 days a week, which i went to yesterday, but i feel there i am dealing with normal people, i act as if everything is fine, but at home my life is unbareable!

 I have decided to do my own thing completely, not going to comunicate with daughter, i have done so much for her, i will be civil with husband, but he doesn't seem to notice when i withdraw! He seems to have the capasity to believe everything is normal!

 This way of living has now gone on for to many years and it's making me ill!

i would so love to live alone with my dog! and just get some peace!

 I need to get myself better, stronger and decide what to do!

 

12

Hello again :-) , you seem to be on the right track. You have endured strife through out your life and have made some great decisions just lately. If you want to live on your own without the stresses you are being put under by a challenging daughter and a non comital husband that prefers the company and conversation of your daughter than to you. I would say go for it.

Check out the local housing associations. A lot have client based teams that help people with your problems settle into a new life. Talk to a social worker at the local authority. Contact the duty officer of the day for adult services and get an appointment to see them to talk about your problems to. Then working together will make your change to a different lifestyle go quite smoothly. You could even get support from your GP when you see him/her next. Make him aware of your situation too. Go for it as it might be that your mental health improves greatly as a result of you making that one decision. Good luck Peter

13

Hi Peter, once again thanks for good advice!

 Wrote a letter this morning, to try and explain how i feel! As i gave it to him he said "shame we can't talk" i explained i have tried, but we end up having a row!

 I managed to get an appointment tomorrow to see a counsellor i really find very good!

  I feel so down and weak at the moment, i feel i don't want to move from my home, i just go about my day and then am so tired fall into bed!

 As i said my husband has no understanding of mental health, so will be interested to see how he reponds after reading letter!

  Peter you mentioned some papers i should read, how can i get hold of them? are they somewhere on this site?

 Once again thanks for your support!

14

Hi there Welsh girl, you will find the papers with regards to doing things a different way by looking at (Brief Solution Focused Therapy) They really work. I am not sure how you could email me so I could put you in the right direction. Whether or not the forum moderators will allow this to happen? Thanks for replying and good luck. Keep it up. Peter

15

Not exactly the reponse i wanted from husband, when he got home last night, and had read my letter!

  Just didn't get what i had said, how i was feeling! He just said "OK i will give you some space"!!!!!!!! Then off they trot husband and daughter to walk dogs! I went out myself to walk my dog and call on a friend! When i came back we tried to talk again, but just ended in an argument! He doesn't get it at all, and in a way i feel sorry for him!!

 Anyway husband woke me early this morning, said he is going to try harder he loves me and doesn't want to lose me! I somehow feel it's too late, this has all been said before!

 I see my counsellor this afternoon, haven't seen her for a few months, she is very good, i trust her and value her opinion!

 It will be good to talk, as sometimes in this situation i feel i'm going mad and imageing it all! and is it me or is it them!

  

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