Mentally tired and not happy with it

Mental health
1

Hello!

I'm a 24 year old guy. Life's good, very good. I have my dream job (although I can't get along with some of the guys from work), very good relations with my family, and a few friends. I can't tell that I have anything very wrong with my life.

When I was younger, I was properly good at school. I didn't study at home, but I got good grades at school. In high school, I started to lose memory. I remember a period, where I couldn't remember my classmates family names. Now, years later, it hasn't changed much. I still have bad memory, but I can remember almost everything from childhood (for example, phone numbers - I had all my friends and relatives phone numbers in my head, car's licence plate numbers and so on).

But everything else has now gone downwards also. I don't seem to be that clever anymore. I can't find good solutions to simple problems. I'm always tired. If I have a moment to sleep, I pass out almost immediately. I had a free weekend where I slept almost 40 hours (not straight).

For the past few months, I'm also getting clumsier by the day.

Now the question is, what's happening? What can I change?

Please help me. If you have any questions, please ask.

With kind regards,

Reio.

2

Hi Reoi, You've missed out the most important part of this post. Have you seen your GP and had blood tests done? Also, how long has it been since things started "going downwards"? Could be all sorts of quite simple physical problems - e.g. thyroid, viral etc. You really need to get physically tested.

If all that comes back negative, then you might need to ask to be referred to a neurologist. If there's no problem there either, then maybe you should see a therapist, as this could be depression. But the most important thing is to get the physical checked out first.

Good luck!

Lily

3

Actually no, I haven't seen a doctor with this problem.

I can't seem to put a start date for the problem, but for me it seems the high-school is the start. That means 7 years ago..

So I think it couldn't be a viral infection, but now when I read more about the thyroid problem, it seems likely.

From an article I read the signs are:

You're exhausted - check

You're feeling down - check. I try to tell myself that I have everything I need in my life and more, but I'm still not happy.

You feel jittery and anxious - no.

Your appetite or taste buds are altered - check. For me, I eat like a normal person should, but others around me eat much less, and they don't seem to have problem if they have to skip lunch. For me, if I can't eat at a certain time of day, I get very frustrated.

Your brain feels fuzzy - check. I have real difficulties concentrating on several things at once. For example, I can't listen to song lyrics if I'm doing anythings besides this. And my thoughts always wonder around.

You've lost your interest in sex - no.

You're feeling all fluttery - not exactly.

Your skin is dry - check.

Your bowels are unpredictable - I have to pee very often. I've checked my bladder and so on, they're all okay. It's just in the brain.

Your periods have changed - not for me. :D

You have painful extremities or muscles - check. My neck is sore, always.

You have high blood pressure - don't know.

Your thermostat is on the fritz - my GP once told me I got Raynaud syndrome. But I think this is not the case here.

You're hoarse or your neck feels funny - check as told before.

Your sleep schedule is messed up - check.

You've gained weight - I actually have, but not that much. I'm still 185cm and 73 kg.

Your hair is thinning or falling out - check. I'm almost certain I'll be bald in about 25 years..

You have trouble getting pregnant - as a male, check.. :D

You have high cholesterol - don't know.

As an Eastern European male, we usually have a no-medical-seek stance, but if you say i really need to get checked, I just might do it.

Thank you very much!

4

Have you taken opportunity of putting these problems before you doctor for some professional medical advice?

5

No, not yet. But maybe now.

Thanks!

 

6

Yes, Reio - you REALLY need to get checked! I'm a former nurse so know what I'm talking about. But the same would be crystal-clear to anyone else. It's not rocket science, is it?

And for goodness' sake don't go to your doctor with a ready-made diagnosis. I know doctors, and they hate that. Just go with a list of your symptoms. In any case, you can't diagnose yourself from the internet.

As for the macho refusal to seek medical advice... try googling "List of countries by life expectancy". You'll find it on Wikipedia. If you do a few random calculations, you'll note that, almost without exception, the countries with the longest overall life expectancy are the ones with the least difference between males and females. I realise that E European countries generally fall lower down the overall list than their W European counterparts, mainly for historical reasons, but the difference in life expectancy per gender in all these countries, compared with western Europe, is still significant.

I don't know where you are, but I note that the three Baltic states are just about the worst, with males only averaging 87% of the life expectancy of females, compared with most W European countries, where it's 92-94%. Almost all the E European countries seem to follow the same trend. In comparison, even in the African countries at the bottom of the list, where life-span is tragically short and one would expect more men than women to die in war and acts of violence, the men still average about 93% of female life-span!

I'm with you on not running to the doctor every time you get a minor ache or a pain. I don't do that myself. But there's nothing macho or manly about letting yourself die of a treatable disease. Or - far worse in my opinion - becoming permanently disabled by it. Be really macho. Stand out from the crowd. Start a new trend!

7

Haha.. :D

Thanks! I'll go..

But for me, it kind of is a rocket science. If I hurt somewhere, it's obvious something's wrong, but if it's a mental issue, then I can't be sure. How to understand that you're thoughts are something not quite normal?

About the self-made diagnosis. No, I wouldn't do that, but thanks for reminding..

I'm actually from Estonia, so your story really is spot on.

I think the actual problem for most of us, men, is that medical advice is really really time consuming. Workdays are long and people usually wouldn't want to spend their roughly earned free day on a doctor's visit.

I have a bit more freedom to take a day off when possible, but my GP is about 160 km away in another city (where I'm from). So it means travel costs also. And I know lot's of people, who also have their GPs in another city.

Lily, thank you very much!

I couldn't have figured it's that important, honestly.

8

Hi Reio, I'm a bit puzzled as to why you're so convinced it's a mental health issue. It might well be, of course - depression can make you feel exhausted and affect your concentration - but most of what you've described sounds to me as if it could also be down to physical causes. It can work the other way round - some physical conditions, e.g. hypothyroidism for one, can make you feel only half alive. If you're suffering from some physical illness, it could - and should - be treated before it gets worse and maybe turns into a permanent disability. It's therefore very important to eliminate every possible physical cause before you go the mental health route.

I don't know anything about the Estonian health-care system. I don't live in the UK but I was born there and even their NHS isn't so awful that you have to travel 160km to see a doctor! (That being said, when my mother was dying in a UK hospital I had to make a 40km round trip on public transport every day to visit her.) Can't you register with a doctor nearer to where you live? And don't you have polyclinics or walk-in medical centres there? Best not to go to the emergency department of a hospital though, as they're overworked all over the world and won't go for an in-depth diagnosis anyway. I'm guessing again, but I suspect you've never researched getting a doctor since you left your parents' home, and you could easily find a doctor where you're living now. Like I said - just a guess. But then I got Baltic States right, didn't I? Ha!

Wherever you go, you need to start with a general practitioner first. Unfortunately it's the same for working people everywhere. Not many doctors anywhere in the world hold consultations outside of office hours. But if you keep on like this you could end up having to take a long period of sick leave - which I suspect would leave you even worse off financially. Unless the Estonian system pays 100% open-ended sick leave, of course. If that's the case you should keep quiet about it or half Europe will want to move there!

 

9

Oops, sorry. I don't have any thoughts of what this could be. I'm just far away from medicine in general. I just thought that all these troubles come from the mind, that's why.. It could well be something physical. But as I told before, it doesn't hurt anywhere. :D Don't worry, I'll let my GP think about the causes..

In Estonia, as you said, you first have to see a GP. Since the patient to GP ratio is so high, they won't accept new patients with ease. My friend just got a GP for him and his girlfriend, but only because the GP was his sister's schoolmate. So yes, it's possible. Okay, I personally think that you can get a GP more easily also, but it takes a lot of convincing.

My GP for example knows my name, my family and medical history by heart, so I'm quite happy with her and I think it's easier to travel the 160 km, for now..

I wouldn't expect much from the sick leave. Since I work in a small company and with a great work load, my sick leave wouldn't be accepted at work also. So thanks for scaring me! Who knows, maybe you saved my life just now.. :P

 

10

Wow! Estonia sounds a bit like the UK. I remember when my Mum got bumped off the list of a joint GP clinic she'd been attending for more than 50 years. I was told it was because they'd only just discovered she lived outside their catchment area. When I enquired around her neighbours, I found many of them had been dropped from the same practice as well. Of course, it was pure coincidence that they were all over 80...! Took me ages to find another practice who'd take her on, but it was still in the same town, so I suppose I can't complain.

Glad to hear you have to start with a GP, like they do in the UK. That's a good system. Where I live, you can self-refer to almost all specialists, which can lead to people self-diagnosing, then referring themselves to the wrong specialist, which slows down diagnosis. I also agree it's good to see a doctor who knows you. Maybe you can combine the doctor visit with a trip to see family and old friends.

Hope all goes well. You might even find that having blood tests etc. will put your mind at rest and make you feel generally better, even if they don't find anything wrong.

 

11

I think you can complain. How is this normal?

As far as I remember, medical help is meant to be accessible to all people..

Yeah, at the moment I plan to stay there a few days.. So no big problem.

Of course it's good to have tests of different kind. My grandfather was just at the hospital a few weeks. Now he's rest assured is very healthy. Ain't nothing wrong with that..