So after quite a turbulent time, I was finally getting back onto an even keel.
My partner then announced that his brother and girlfriend were expecting twins. I totally lost it as I found out I can't have kids. When I say lost it I just dissolved into this sobbing wreck. Having kids is the only thing I've ever wanted and I feel like a failure because I can't fix this.
I just cannot get out of this fuggy mood - I feel SO guilty that I feel jealous, angry, heartbroken, and cannot be happy for them. I feel like such an awful person.
They only person who I could speak to was my Aunt but she died suddenly in January.
I just feel lost!
Dear Macymoo,
We wish we could make it all better for you.
One thing that has to be said is, that you are not a failure! I cannot say any more I'm afraid, sorry, but you are NOT a failure.
There are others that can talk with you and help you more I am sure, here or via your GP. Both of you.
We just wanted to send our love and support in the meantime.
David & Ann X
Thank you both - I've spoken to my GP. I also have arranged some one to one counselling which starts next week so hopefully that will give me some tools to deal with my feelings.
A magic wand would be a wonderful invention!
Thank you again for your kind words.
Oh dear my darlin what can a mere mortal say you know you are not to blame or a failure but you need to punish your self I reckon. Been there got the T shirt. Have yo thought about adoption. Oh God there are so many children just was a hug a present at Christmas or the feeling of guilt and failure for not having a mum. Can you realise what those poor defenceless kids go through with no hope for the future unless some special lady is prepared to swallow their tears. Incidentally my sister was told she was barran she adopted a girl then 2 years later had a boy by the draft method instead of the bottled stuff as before. a big kiss to both of you
Hi Macymoo, have you explored all your options. So many things they can do these days. So many times I have heard people say they could not get pregnant, so they adopt a child and years later they get pregnant. Things just happen the way they are suppose to happen. I know how you feel. I had problems getting pregnant myself. It took 5 years. Stay strong!
Lori
Oh bless you
Its bound to upset you and sending a big hug. You're not a failure at all. You're perfectly normal, and there's many people who have problems conceiving for all sorts of reasons. I have friends who've chosen not to have children and friends who've adopted children, and friends with children. There's many amazing things to help people with conceiving these days, and of course adopting is wonderful too.
Counselling will be great for you and I wish you all the best.
I bet you'll become the twins favourite aunty ;-)
K xx