Mirtazapine 45mg, 3 years

Treatment and medication
1

I've just recently discovered that I'm basically walking around in a foggy sort of bubble and I want out.

I was initially prescribed 'Remeron'/Mirtazapine for severe, situational depression a few years ago.  I was unable to eat and lost about 30lbs.

I was afraid to even think of getting off of it however, a few times, I fell asleep (yeah shocker) and forgot to take it and noticed that I was an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSON the next day.  I had energy, hope and clarity.  I was my old self!  It was beautiful!

While I realize that this was just for that one day, I want to be that woman again.

My 'situational' issues have since passed, I have absolutely NO PROBLEM eating (except that I still eat small portions) and I'm bigger than I was before I gave birth!  I can't live this way.  So, I tell my psych doc that I think I want to cut down the dosage.  She's fine with it so I go to 30 and I'm having no trouble until after about a month I realize I'm pretty irritable and kind of bitchy, having mean thoughts and just not a nice person.

So she puts me back on 45, problem solved right?

NO!  I am in a mirtazspine haze.

So sometimes, I treat myself and take nothing just so I can have that one good day...

I found this site and started reading everybody's posts and about your experiences and I've decided to create my own taper plan, based on my past reactions to the different dosage (30mg).

I have warned my husband about what I'm going through and he helps me monitor my behavior and feelings based on how much I take and I think it should be 30mg./15mg. every other day.  This could be difficult given my large dosage and history but I need to go through this.  I want to face my feelings, keep in mind that I could be irrational  and its not me, its the withdrawl and that I will get past it.

I have a very flexible job with low demands and requires a great amount of creativity (very helpful) and need to exercise and am considering giving up meat for the time being since I have trouble digesting it.  I'll stick with fish and some chicken, take supplements, exercise, and hopefully will make it through.

I can't be in a fog anymore.  Life is passing me by and I miss old self!  Also, HUGE ego blow that I don't fit into my sz 6 jeans and have to wear stretchy stuff and hate to go out.  Okay, yeah I'm a little vain/insecure but I can't be that person!  I  miss life!      

This site has helped me realize that this is a real thing.  I'm hoping to just develop a coping mechanism wherein I remind myself that this is part of the master plan/withdrawl phase.  However long it takes, I refuse to become unhinged.

Thank you for posting your comments and experiences.  

2

Hi,

I've been on 15/30mg of Mirtazapine on alternate days since July and this sort of dose has done a lot of good for me. I was diagnosed with anxiety in April. The Mirt has given me some side effects but all in all I'm in a far better place now. When I tried 30mg daily I just felt awful, like tense and generally unwell.

I've had psychotherapy and practice daily meditation and I cannot recommend this enough as it really worked for me. Not so long ago I found myself saying 'I just want my life back' and now I do really feel that I'm mostly back to how I was before albeit with just a few off days.

I hope to start tapering next year - I'm a bit apprehensive about this but hopefully if I do it real slow it might not be too bad.

I hope you find yourself once more and realise your everyday feel good factor - something I lost for a long time.

Best regards,

Rob

3

Hi Jen

There seems to be a 'slight' indication that you may find it easier to taper than you might think.  If you went from 45mg to 30mg and only had irritation, feeling bitchy and mean thoughts - without the horrendous nausea, anxiety, inability to eat etc ... you could do alright.

We're all different and I think its all about finding our what taper pattern suits you.  But I would begin with a smaller drop than the 33% you did before, and definately shy away from alternating doses i.e. 15/30 etc as it really confuses the nervous system and could cause anxiety and further suffering.

For an informed choice, click on my name & follow the links under my profile.

Best wishes Jen, I hope it goes smoothly for you.  I'm tapering slowly, so far so good!

4

Hi Calmer,

Thank you so much for your reply.  I will definitely follow your links.

So 15/30 bad idea?  Makes sense.    

I took 30 last night and will keep that up for another ten days and then start 15 and see how that works.

No, I didn't have horrible physical withdrawl.  If I know what to expect, I'm okay with it because I remind myself why I feel this way and it helps until it passes.

I have a low dose Rx for xanax but I try and stay away from it unless its absolutely necessary.  Also, alcohol can mess things up as well so I have to be careful.

Thank you again!  I have my husband on my side and my Dr. is pretty layed back about it so it helps  to have someone with similar experiences.

Have a great day and happy tapering smile

 

5

Happy to help.  You mentioned above, that the symptoms kicked it after a month ???  This could be relevant because you may need to stay at 30mg for a month to see how you are (after 28 days).  You see if wd symptoms kick in at 28 days and in the meantime you have done another drop in dosage you could suffer a wobble of anxiety or insomnia and its hard to put right.  So only want to advice to go slow to start with, see how you are after the 4 week mark.

I would then go to 22,5 mg, not 15mg ... its up to you, only you know how you feel.  (15mg + 7.5 mg).

Happy weekend