Hey folks where do I begin.. Been checking out the forum the past few months while I've been trying to get off this awful little tablet.
Basically suffered anixty from a young age now 32. Started getting ocd negative thoughts over a year ago. It scared been at first it was all my worst fears playing tricks with me. So docs put me on mirtazapine as i really don't like taking any meds, I take the odd pain killer but other than that I try not to take anything. I especially didn't want to take AD. But with pressure from folk around me and docs recommend advice they suggested it was best I try mirtazapine as I suffer from anxiety disorder. It was causing me to not want to go out to certain places etc.. Anyway its been over a year now and by far the worst of my life. I only started on 15mg as it blew my hair off, litterly couldn't function and ended up bed bound due to feeling so all over. Anyway after a couple of weeks it eased and I started getting out more and felt more positive maybe it's placebo Effect, no idea it's all just been a blur. I suffer from a vertigo( balance disorder) it pops up now and again so I know sometimes I have to rest, but it's the worst thing when your an over thinker. Anyway I've been back and forth to the docs and getting no where, some say up the mirtazapine some say they think am best off not being on Ad. I'm currently waiting for my Cbt. I've tried since Dec to reduce off these awful tablets as I'm convinced they are not doing anything other than making me crave foods at night and sleep qnd have weird dreams. I wake up feeling so hung iver
Sorry folks pressed the wrong button haha
Anyway I was saying I wake up every morning feeling so hung over and I'll
Morning anixty through the roof like never before, scared to leave my room most days, crying random times a day, weird muscle spasms.,neck jerks, awful Brain zaps, head aches, awful nervous tummy, ibs qnd eating all over, tired every day no motivation and the most annoying one latly since trying to reduce the constant surges and rushes of adrenaline, heart palps and feeling short of breath. I feel I am dyin, like conconvinced I'm dying am crying to people close to me thinking am dying. I'm having anxity attacks numerous times per day. My body is absolutely floored. my mind never stops worrying and wake up with a random song playing over in my head and I have trippy dreams. The list is endless, but I have never been this low in all my lifE. I'm usually so bubbly and full of energy pretty hypo active ha just a happy lass and very driven. I call the doctors when I'm having an attack and they just keep saying your not dying it's anxity bla bla. They keep saying think positive and await your cbt. but I keep telling them I wasn't like this until I've took these tablets. I have noticed I'm very sensitive to them, I've been trying to cut down at turtle pace thanks to help on this forum.
I started mid Dec from 15mg 13.5 2-3 weeks then 11mg then 9mg. Was managing just even though every day is a battle and I'm an Anxious wreck. But three weeks ago I got to half a tablet 7.5 and my word, things went off the scale. My adrenaline was going through rushes every second lasting hours. It went on two weeks docs said it was just anxity qnd to keep thinking positive. one nice doc was so nice qnd listened and thinks I should defo come off these mirtazapine. But after two weeks of he'll on 7.5mg I caved in and decoded to go back up a dose. Still currently on around 9-10mg per ngt. I literally feel so stuck in a cycle and struggling to get out of it. My family are sp supportive as they understand things. But I feel so weak and low qnd snappy. I'm pushing people Away and shutting off from the world. I've only ever sufferered anxity qnd a bit of a low mood with it but this takes things to a differnt level I don't even feel my own self anynore. Everyday I wake up with dread qnd gloom for the day a head. Its draining. It does seem to ease in the evening and I feel normal self at night.
I used to do every sport going and be busy, now I can't face going down the stares In my house most days. Anyway sorry about the essay here folks. Just I feel like I have no one else to speak to about things as im just out of ideas and can't decide what to do about these mirtazapine. I am 99per its the tabelts making me worse but I am terrified to try reduce again. Docs gave me sertilaine or something to try cross over to. But after this experience I want to be med free and get cbt. I have a book called a life at last anxity no more that's helping me understand anxiety more. Sorry about my grammar I can barely function.
Any tips or advice on things from anyone with experience would be great..
Thanks again shez
Shez, buy a book on mindfulness. I have two 'Mindfulness plain and simple' and 'mindfulness for health'. They'll teach you how to stay with your emotions and experience rather than trying to escape them and getting more caught up with them. Cbt is good too but different, my therapist used to do it until he discovered mindfulness. The beauty of it is that you don't need a therapist for it but you do have to commit to 20min a day to learn how to relax and calm you body.
I find it best to reduce these drugs VERY GRADUALLY -like a quarter tab at a time, once a week, then twice a week and so on. Then I find you can feel as if you are making progress, by your body has time to adjust, and you have a chance to get used to the altered way you feel. I feel more alive on the days after I take a slightly reduced dose, but I do feel things more - pain, emotions, but also pleasure.
Wow thanks for the replies guys.. Finally nice to talk to people who know what am going through. I've always tried to keep things under wraps and only talk to people close to me. But I feel the past 6 months or so I have read so much on this forum and I see that there is millions suffering and am not the only one. I just feel so all over with emotions. Trying to come Off these awful things is so hard , I regret ever taking them.. I am going really slow like, taking 2mg off every 2-3 weeks. But the side effects are still awful. It's the half way mark 7.5 mg that's blown me away last month. Litterly non stop adrenaline for two weeks had me floored and in bits. Since i went back up a dose to 9_10mg it's eased. Still blips but no where near as severe. I phoned docs three times that week, but they just don't seem fussed. I work from home self employed as i counldt possiblly have a full time job at the moment. Barely get up out of bed im that tired and fed up. I do feel it's these tablets escalating everything as the side effects are making me worry more that I have some sort of illness or dying etc. I hate thinkkng this way though as it's spoiling my life and happiness.
31980I have tried a little mindfulness last year, but my mind seems wonder haha. It did help after a few times but I think my main problem is my breathing I've been told by many cbt tutors my breathing is short and shallow all in my shoulders, my doc said I'm hypoventalion my self as i also talk fast when anxious ha. I feel I can't fix too many things at once, but I'm really out of ideas now never felt so up and down before. Docs keep saying ya not depressed it's anixty playing tricks etc. I shall look for the book you mentioned thanks again
Shez
Thanks piccie. Just replied in the post above regarding how slow I'm going. I just feel stuck on them
Apart of Me feels like just stopping these awful things, but the stories I've read from cold turkey but blow me away. Also from reducting so slowly yet still suffering nasty side effects I think I would feel more scared.
Feel like it's never ending. Today I'm stuck in bed with awful head ache and crappy brain zaps and adrenaline feeling like I'm dying ha even though some part of me knows anixtey
Shez
Hi Shez
Really sounds like youve been through the mill and it cant have been easy for you. The main thing I would say to you is that every time you change your dose, whether it be an increase or a decrease, your body will react in some way. So the body needs an even dose to function well.
I am wondering how long you took Mirtazapine for, and at what dose? I found that it took 12 weeks at 15 then 30 mgs before I started to feel better. Meantime I felt absolutely awful, just like you describe. The doctor had told me I would feel less anxious after 2-4 weeks, so I wasnt expecting for it to take that long.
So maybe you didnt stay on it at a consistent dose for it to do its work? If you still had the anxiety then maybe you werent on them for long enough? I was told it would be at least a year to 18 months depending on what happened in my life.
I also think it sounds as if you came off them too quickly. My doc said some people never come off them at all, and its not hard to see why!
Those symptome you describe (panic, anxiety short of breath etc) do lessen with time .
Glad to hear the forum helps, everyone is here because they need support from pople who have had similar experiences.
Hey Jane started on 15mg over a year ago. First 6 months seems ok but the last 6 months have been he'll. I'm currently sitting shaking with anxity at the moment so upset thinking it won't end. Then I calm down soon after and try keep busy.
Yeah u will be right about chAngling doses I keep going up and down. I have to cut my 15mg eve evert ngt with a cutter I got online to make sure am getting the sames amount each ngt. I feel steadier on the 9mg I'm on now it's eased the gloom and constant adrenaline rushes. But I feel groggy and all over still esp every morning till evening then at night I feel fine.most ngts I don't want sleep as I hate the feeling waking up. The mirtazapine knocks me to sleep for a good 10 hours. I have a struggle waking up and doing anything at all. I'm constantly hungry too. I hsve to keep banana and porrige to hand ha. I know half the battle is anxitey but feel these tablets are making things harder I just feel sedated and tired. it's nice to eventually be able to talk to folk about things. I hate negativity but feel am full of it ha
Shez
Hi Shez, my heart went out to you reading your posts. I to have been through what you are going through, it does seem like anxiety is getting the better of you. What you need to understand and hopefully help you to relax a little, is the tablets are designed to help us not hinder. They work by slowly trying to stabilise the chemicals in our brains that have slowly become unbalanced. It is a very slow process and unfortunately takes time to come good. Think of this, if you throw snowballs at a wall only so much sticks, but if you keep throwing them the wall will eventually become white.
Hey Craig, been on 15mg for just over a year. Started to feel worse end of last year so tried to ween off.my word biggest mistake ever these things. They should come with a warning sticker on the front. Trying to get off has destroyed me like. No one listens though and had to cry to the docs for them to see that they are no use to me. Last doc I spoke to agreed and said I'm doing sensible thing coming of slow. I've been taking 2mg off every 3 weeks as the wd effects are unbelievable! I started reduction mid Dec. I got to half way 3 weeks ago and it was just too much I seem so sensitive to them and they make me so foggy and can't function. Adrenaline rushes are scary esp when u hsve anxity as it is. I went back to one dose up around 9mg and adrenaline issue settled a lot. But I'm still in a right pickle. I only had the odd anixtey attsck and ocd thoughts before I started these a year later I have a list off issues. I feel I'm getting the oppersite effects of what I should be. But then I think or it must be me my anixty must be really bad now. I know they help some people but ain't helped me and I feel am still stuck on them scared to come off due to wd. I ain't got the strength at the moment so am trying to balance it out steady and try reduce 1mg next month.
Wish I just read a anixty blog or website plus cbt in the first place. . I weaker but wiser now. Guess it can only make us stronger
Shez
I too am trying to withdraw and its make he feel terrible. The doctor has give me propranolol to take 3 times a day to ease off the anxiety. I was cautious with another drug being added as i dont like medication like valium etc. These are non addictive and block the signal to the adrenelin gland that causes the anxiety. At the minute i have only just started them so dont feel much different. The mornings are the worst for me, always wake up feeling crap, when everyone around me feels refreshed. I think all we can do is keep going and hope we come back to the people we once were.. wishing you all the best
Hey Shez, just reading your first post in more detail and wondered if the reduction was the right thing to do. Having been on Mirt for 4 years i have researched the drug in more detail than you can imagine. In its lowest dose it barely dose anything for anxiety and depression and is prescribed as a sleep aid and appetite stimulant. I think as you were only taking the 15mg if would have definately been more advisible to go up in dose not down. A few weeks ago i was having crazy anxiety attacks including panicks and when i upped my dose they were almost immediately subdued. I am surprised the Dr's havent told you to go up not try and come off, food for though
Oh those sound good I might ask my doc about those too. As im really struggling to grt off these and scared to try anything like it again. But i have been giving sertraline to try to taper to but am terrified. just so hard to see of its my anixty getting worse for done reason or the tablets
Just I was never like this no where near prior to taking these. I'm shaking now with anxouis thinking now. Convinced am dying for some reason. I hsve no reason to be stressed and anxuius. I'm supported by amazing folk helping me .I've had an awful head ache couple of days so I can feel stupid thoughts creeping in working me up. My tablet does calm me at ngt and then I eat loads then sleep ages then struggle to wake up. Then I wake up anxous dreading the day a head. evenings are milder and when I'm distracted by stuff I feel less anxity etc. Some days I'm strong and can have an ok day. I try to think of other stuff but my thoughts return back to am dying it's not anixty bla bla. I'm not sure if it's my mirtazapine or not. Bt I woukd like to try be clear headed and try with cbt to learn coping techs and not like my own thoughts make Me prisoner. It sucks so much dont it. How's your wd going? I wish I knew these were so hard to get off haHa
A friend of mine was on 45 she just stopped and was fine. Jammy bugger haha I struggle each reduction. It's the adrenaline rushes I can't handle I had them every second for two weeks solid. Now I went back up they settled lots, just mild now. But i have constant songs playing over in my head and shakes and choking sensations while a sleep sometimes. I wake up and get a shock but am that out of it go to sleep ha
The brain zaps eased tOo
I'm trying to get steady and then try 1mg drops till am off then worry about things then. I hope your ok and keep being stronG
Thanks Craig, well I've been ok a while on the 15. Seemed fine first 6 Months. Then jusr seemed to be doing nothing. I tried to grt off because I ws eeating all sorts at night qnd sleeping all the time.. Groggy and fatigue etc. Brain zaps muscle spasms. Told docs they came and said try upping I tried one for 6 days at 30mg My word I could barely speak I was so out of it. Docs said try 22.5 again lasted a week and felt off my face. Stuck in bed tripping. So I stayed on 15 a wee while longer and tried to start getting off them as the tiredness is unreal. I feel so groggy and find it hard to get going. Docs said they are mild tabeltS. One doc said he thinks am best not ob on tabtablets and just exercising as i have soooo much energy usually I have always been active. So feeling so weak and groggy is hard for me. It worries me too. Not sure if it's anixty or the tablets not working but i know I never had any anxitey issues like this before taking these tabelts. Everyone noticed the change in me. Don't feel the same person anymore. I just don't know what to do for best. Not sure tabelts help me. So I feel out of ideas apart from trying to fix my self and also having cbt
Unfortuntely we ultimately have control of our own lives, but i believe we do not always think rationally whilst suffering with this type of illness. My wife always complains i play with my tablets but i cant seem to help myself. I am always online in the evenings if you need a chat, take care, there will be brighter times ahead i'm sure
Haha thanks craig, very kind of you :-) I get wrong of my mates.. They say you and these bliming tablets. I've just had mine so am sitting calm,chilled like a hippy whilst eating picnic full of tucker.. Terrible the craving when I eat so good during the day. But I'd take the food cravings over anxity anyday. I'm.going to see how I go on what I'm at for a little while longer then eithr try one last go at reducing. If all fails go back to my original amount of 15mg for a While. I do feel they are just sedation me ar the lower dose so you may be right and it might be my body needing mote to control things. I'm hoping to exercise more and keep eating plenty bananas :-) haha happy foods. Sleep well and thanks again. Speak soon
Hey Craig I called docs today as I've been in such an anxious state from wake up. Told them my situation as they actually think the same as you. They think I need to go back to my 15mg and get steady again on that and just put up with the groggyness etc. also awake my cbt. They want me to calm down a little and try relax and work on breathing etc. Wish I could ha. My heads in over drive all the time lately..
So tonight I'm taking my full 15 as I feel I have nothing to lose . Sorry Worth ago
Hi Shez, sorry to hear you have had bad anxiety today, I have also spoke with a professional today and they have told me trying to come down on my dose is wrong, they have told me to split the higher dose to make it easier for me to handle. I took it today and within an hour I felt relaxed.i think you should definitely go up on your dose to 15, in sure it will be better for you than trying to come down, wishing you the best
Gosh we are both having a right time of it. Things can only improve for us now. Only one way up :-)
I've had awful head ache and sinus pain all night so I think thsts why I've woke up in such a state. I've calmed down Now my anxity seems to of eased now. Still over thinking, but I have horrid tension head ache from stressing so much no doubt.
Yes I'm going to take my full tablet for a while now. It can only help me surely. Going to try and relax my thoughts and think more positive that there is folk worse off.
so are you still coming of your mirt?
I'm defo taking my 15 this evening and then going to try keep my dose the same for a while, it's a low dose a guess but if it helps like it used to then surely only way is up from there along with cbt and also my own strength :-) hope your well today
I'm not going to bother trying to come off, if I'm not well so coming off will only make me worse,I think taking the full 15 is the right way to go for you, your body needs help and lowering it you are taking that away, don't be scared to take it earlier in the evening if it helps