Mother of the Bride anxiety

Women's health
1

Hi lovely ladies. Help needed please. My daughter is getting married this weekend and this is one event I can't get out of!  I've got the dress, shoes, handbag and hat. But what I haven't got is me, the calm, organised confident me that I used to be. I'm excited but soooo nervous and anxious.  It's away from home so not able to retreat to place of comfort. I'm suffering from the hot flashes and my hands are so cold and clammy I'm dreading having to shake hands with the other guests.

I'm trying to be brave for my daughter but I'm wishing it was all over when I should be looking forward to it.

Any tips please for getting through the day.

2

Just focus on your daughter's wedding and enjoy every minute of her joy. It will ease your anxiety not thinking about your symptoms, and focusing on hers. Relax and enjoy the moment.

3

maisie05,

 

   All I can metion is that I think you are allowing your mind to get you all upset.  Once you get there your focus will be on your daughter and her big day.  I have a feeling that you will be fine.  Just keep reminding yourself that this is about her, you will do the best you can, and won't allow anything to get in the way of this celebration.  

   Take a hanky or a small package of wet wipes with you for your hands. Have extras in your purse.  Or would small gloves be appropriate?  Your hotel room will need to serve as home away from home, and your place to retreat.  

    Just keep you eye on the celebration, and your daughter.  

4

I think a lot of the people here are in the US and I'm in the UK so I don't know if it's available to you but I recommend Bach Rescue Remedy (available from chemists in the UK) as good in this sort of situation.

Also homoeopathic Aconite or AAA (Aconite, Argent Nit and Ambergris)

5

Thank you I will look at that. I can get it delivered next day on line

6

Yes thank you,  I think I've been thinking too much about it. I'm usually better if I keep busy. I'll try and keep my mind occupied on the preparations. Yes it is her day and I'll be there for her.

7

Yes thank you, I'll put her first. I won't let her down.

8

Hi Maisie. I always take a small plug in desktop fan when i go away, as not all hotels supply fans -its a big help as you can put on the dressing table when doing your make up & hair so you dont get all hot & worked up. i dont know if taking a couple of paracetomol 4hrly would help keep your temperature down as its hormone related, not like a raised temp with a cold or bug, but maybe you could try it before you go when having a "hot moment" & see if it helps? just an idea to try to poss get through for a couple of days around the wedding festivities. also if you don't have short hair, if you can put it up at least at the back, i find that helps me. i actually put the back of my hair up in loose ponytail before i go to bed as it does help a bit with the night sweats when i get them. they also say if you can cool your feet or hands it helps regulate temperature in the rest of the body (same with heat- warm feet warmer body). again i dont know if helps as problem caused by hormones, but you could try wearing sandals to keep your feet as cool as poss, also nip to the loo & put your hands under cold as poss running water to try & reduce any flushes. hope this helps a bit Maisie, have a wonderful day!!! xxx

9

Hi I know that feeling too well my daughter got married last year an I had such palpitations I had a panic attack while they where doing the speech I thought I was dying but had to control myself as I was sitting at bridal table.... I can suggest that you get a calming pill I used Azor 2.5mg an thankgoodness I had it wth me put it under my tongue an withing 10min I was fine.... if I knew I would have taken 1/2 pill befor wedding it just calms you..... I don't use them often but my GP gave me to always carry in my bag.... if I get that panic feeling wth palpitations an I'm inbetween people I use it.... it really helps an yes people will say it's addictive but not if using now an again. I've been using it for a year nw whn needed and not addicted at all..... goodluck an enjoy it befor you know it's over.....

10

Hi maisie poor you , get on strong sage 2500 has to be a strong one and starflower oil 1000 i noticed a difference in a few days get it ordered tonight  and the lady is right i use rescue remedy pastiles and kalms they do help , eat eggs and bananas for breakfast these are calming foods eat on the day and also my mum swore paracetamol are calming .we all put things off or suffer so much go girl and enjoy the day try these things and please  let us all know how the wedding went , my son is moving out in 2 weeks and my husband and i will take him to the new flat in london i have the jitters about doing that but bless him hes going ha ha and im going to eat my bananas on the day  ha ha good luck x 

11

Thanks looloo. The fan is a brilliant idea, I will definately be taking one, thanks for that!  I've always hated being cold, now I find if I can keep my feet cold the flushes don't seem as bad. So I will take a spare pair of sandals to change into.  Yes my neck does get wet at the back, Thanks so much looloo, great tips. xx

12

Thanks, I'll look into that. I think it's just a case of having something to hand if a panic feeling comes over me, like the Bach rescue remedy. Yes sitting through the speeches is a bit daunting if everyone is looking your way.. I'd better make sure I have plenty of water or I'll keep sipping the wine! Not a good idea x

13

Hi there,

Congratulations!

Yes, I was going to suggest some of the aids already mentioned, like KALMS...not addictive and really do take the edge off nerves.

Sage for flushes...but need to start now...double up!  I think they mildly work...or it's just the changable English summer...hard to say!

And yes to Starflower Caps, 1000mg, have been taking these for years now.

I agree with all the other ladies...it's all your day...but mainly hers, so you being there for her will definately take your mind off your anxieties...have fun x

14

Thanks Karen. I've been taking 1000mg sage vita bi otics ultra. Not been much change. Should I try taking 2 or does it have to be in one dose?

And I have been taking passionflower as suggested by some on here, only two weeks so may be a bit soon.

I will have the eggs and bananas, I love them anyway, and paracetamol is a good idea like Looloo said. 

Good luck with your sons move, make sure you have activities planned for when you get back home to keep you busy x

15

Thank you! The weather forecast is good, fine and warm but not too much sun so think that suits us all.

The tips on here have been great so feeling better now and will make sure I'm there for my lovely daughter x

16

Hi maisie  i found the stronger sage is better 2500 the lower dose did not work for me,  i have the strong one just 1 pill per day also fish oil , i eat seeds and nuts in a smoothie, 50% greens,25% fruit and 25% seeds/nuts  and flax or chia seeds i have a smoothie as a snack at 11am  all this helps me a lot im a lot calmer . its quite nice having a cool smoothie when the weather is hot x

17

Yes I've been eating nuts seeds and flax for years, even baking menopause cake,  and thinking I've got away with this menopause stuff! I'm 57. No periods for last two months and the night sweats, hot flushes and palpitations have hit me in last three weeks. Maybe linked to wedding stress, who knows!

I have a menopause recipe book so will look up smoothies, thanks x

18

Hi Maisie, I prayed for you today. I hope that all is going well

19

Thank you everyone for your good wishes and advice. The day was perfect, the bride beautiful and I enjoyed it immensely. The fan was especially welcome in a stifling hotel bedroom Looloo, thanks. xx

20

You're welcome hun! glad you had a great day.  out of interest did paracetomol help at all with control of hot flashes while you were away? xx