Hello,
I am a guy and I totally understand what you are saying here, I have suffered exact same things and I really think my advice would help a lot! And if you follow my advice you will heal completely. And since I have overcome this problem I think, nay I know my advice will help you.
Good news is you can totally overcome this thing. I am keeping it as concise I can. First of all you should know your problem isn't an ailment of your body 'cause it's pyschological. Don't worry because you are not alone with this problem.
In order to solve the problem you need to get to the root of it but I know you can't because over thinking will definitely not help in your case as it didn't in mine. So I will get to the root of your problem and you will do as told.
First listen to a short story of mine that way you will understand why this happens so you will be able to get over this problem. ---- When I was little, I suffered from asthma and then pneumonia and I had allergies so medicines never really helped me recover completely. My breathing got a little better with the help of medicines, but a little cough and cold would kick start breathing problems again and again. It all stayed and as I grew up I even started feeling pins and needles all over my body and doctors couldn't decide what that was because medical reports came out fine. I researched on my own and came to a conclusion -- it was psychological and not physical.
Also I noticed when I tried to overthink at times and tried to process what was happening to me it kick started my breathing problems, so I tried to stay as calm as I could and since I know what a physical asthmatic problem is like, I could easily distinguish this breathing problem from the previous one.
In asthmatic breathing problem you would feel that there is not enough space left for you to pull your breath in and also inhalers help in such cases because they make way for air to get inside the lungs by physically expanding the space within,
but in pyschological breathing problem you would feel that there is nothing there to choke your lungs from the inside and also inhalers will not help much and also you will feel your body reacting to your own breathing pattern like preventing itself from breathing properly, ain't it? And being scared all the time will only make it worse, believe me because at first I was scared too, because I didn't know what I was dealing with, but when you know what it is, the fear subsides.
The thing is our body reacts to feelings, like when we get shocked our heartbeat raises(because it affects our heart a little), similarly when we are overstressed or are scared then it reacts in such cases too.
So the solution is --- don't overthink and don't take pressure and do not be afraid of this, you will achieve what you are trying to achieve here, because it is ACHIEVABLE!
Also try to inspire yourself by listening to some inspirational songs and on the end note I would say this --- take inspiration from yourself (see yourself as your own role model, no one can be better role model than you yourself), see yourself in the mirror and speak I am stronger than this and I will not tolerate this. And don't overdo this, do this when breathing problem is at peak and believe it when you say this to yourself, say this with determination that you will not stay with this and say- I kick you out of my life and I take control over myself. ( Or say whatever inspires you)
Stay determined and don't pay much attention to your breathing problem, because paying attention to it only feeds it(Literally). Focus on your own life and take control, do your chores and work and get busy with life you will sure notice some small changes or even big changes if you are too busy to think on this matter, try not to think about it at all and it surely will go away, I don't even remember when I became free from my breathing problems because I didn't feed it with much attention which it requires to stay alive in your body. I only remember that I noticed small changes at first and so I quickly decided to go all the way not caring without paying heed to this.
Sorry it was a long one, but I hope all of this above helps you in every way.
I am a christian so I used to say I leave my cares upon you (God), and I would just stop thinking about anything I was thinking about at that moment and so I could concentrate on what I was doing at the moment .
The "key" is to "not" take stress.
Take care and don't take stress.
) find helpful!