Although nobody has ever said that to me it must be true. Everyone I meet makes excuses and leaves and I end up all alone crying again. I mean I'm successful and I'm fairly attractive you would think I could have some luck. No not me. What am I going to do. Just accept that I will always be just me, friendless, partnerless and childless?
Stop trying so hard, it might be putting people off. Relationships tend not to start out like this...
Bella
You are so very self citical, if you are suffering from Anxiety it may be people are picking up on your vibes. Sometimes this can be in your voice or your speech.
Try some coping Techniques, like Breathing control and Relaxing Techniques such as Mindfulness.
You could try pausing before you talk to people, just a couple of seconds, use that time to consider what you want to say and do not rush. If someone breaks into the conversation pause again before saying anything and keep your tone lower in case your voice is slightly trill
Rember someone is always waiting for someone like you, you are not unusual or strange just nervous
BOB
You will find someone don't worry he may not look like brad pitt, but he will be someone you will adore hang in there, you can make friends by joining sports and through work I guess.
Seriously don't cry over anyone, f what people think of you, be yourself because everyone else is taken, I was a loner during my high school years all the girls called me a shy nerd (I don't judge them) but I never cared, when those people who ended up calling started working at McDonald's and I was at law school they all came rushing back to catch up for coffee, Netflix and chill, you know the deal.
Go enjoy your life!! Love will find you I promise! So will amazing friends!
I have had enough. I started getting bullied age 11 and age 27 my life is no better. I have few friends and i am truly exhausted. Today for example I was going on a date with someone at 3pm he text me at 2pm to cancel bearing in mind this was someone I never met before (friends set us up) how could it go so wrong. What did I do wrong to make him lie about an emergency to get out of meeting me.
My anxiety is not like most people's anxiety in fact my doctor says I don't have anxiety. If I don't have anxiety I don't know what it is apart from being a freak. At least anxiety is a label to explain me. I have done mindfulness, meditation, hypnotherapy I even have beta blockers. Nothing is making this stop.
Thanks. I had the same problem at high school only none of them are rushing back despite my successful career. I am in a really bad place at the moment after a guy cancelled a date last minute. But this is on top a guy doing a disappearing act on me the other week. I despair.
Bella
You seem like you see yourself not good enough and that these days is not unusual.
Possibly this chap may have had an emergency situation and just was unable to meet you, Try and look at the situation as an honest problem that this chap had.
I understand you are looking at yourself as a victim and no-one wants to know you. What you need to understand that there are people out there awaiting a meeting you just have not found Him yet. At twenty seven I had not met my wife and it was not until I was twenty eight, nine we met.
when something has not happened just give life a chance to blow your mind
I was bullied from School, through an at work, I am not that bright and my lack of confidence showed through. Eventually this lead to me been medically retired, and that lead to more interesting times.
Personally I do not feel you suffer from Anxiety it is confidence and the only way your will sort this out is to meet a new group of friends who will take you warts and all. You explain you are attractive, look for interests where you meet people with a good brain and nice attitude to life. In my time I learned to dance ballroom and Latin, that opened up a new set of friends and people to go out with.
Try and consider your needs and hopefully you will gain confidence and find that person.
Yes life is hard, we all need to make our own way through it. Stop being a victim.
BOB
Dont rush it when the time is right youll meet another to enjoy life with. You have to love you first.get this managed. Relationships require alot of work. In terms of friends we are worriers and so it can be challenging but ine in four have similiar issues so thise you seek out haha. Ugh the last thing you meed is a relationship with unmanaged anxiety it would be so draining on you. A bad time to people please and hide your thoughts just to be with someone.
id say if you dont have a pet might be very helpful for lonliness. And yes you will make friends. Of course you will.
I don't see myself as a victim, I have had a bad week and as a result I am exhausted and upset with my lot. Who can blame me? I am dealing with a rejection, I got upset again can you blame me. Tomorrow morning will I get up and go to work with a fake smile on my face - yes. Will I take the professional exams which will get me pay rises and promotions - yes I will. And when I meet my friends for tea tomorrow night will I sit sulking - no I won't. I am allowed to wallow for a little while if something has upset and hurt me. That is a human reaction and entirely normal.
I have confidence in myself or I wouldn't have the job that I have. But sometimes like today something happens to knock me back and it knocks me right down. Maybe it knocks me lower than other people at the time. So Ok I get upset about it, I cry and I feel sorry for myself but I get up. I get up time and time again and I resent anyone who tells me I am not strong. I am stronger than most people I know because of the life experiences I have had. Not many would keep going despite it all. I am proud of who I am and what I have achieve and will achieve.
Hi bella
Your story sounds very much like mine.
I was bullied thru high school and thru my young adult hood. Despite that i study hard and got a good career.
Had many guys stand me up and make excuses to why they cldnt see me.
I kept thinking 'whats wrong with me' im not good enough. I was always in tears!
Then i said to myself that im not going to worry about guys/relationships and just concentrate on my job.
So i knocked back dates and made excuses to why i cldnt go on them (i was aged 28 at the time )
Until i met this 1 guy thru work. He asked for a date.. i refused . He asked again.. i refused again ... he just kept hassling me.
In the end we became good friends for 2 years and now he is my husband and im 21 weeks pregnant.
I guess what im sayin is that love will come when u least expect it.
Just concentrate on u and be the best u can in everything u do.
Here if u need a chat
Can I just say thank you! You really understood me in your reply and it is the first time anyone has understood me that means a lot. I'm 27 now and I am starting to worry I won't meet someone but I am sick of the dating game. Sick of getting my hopes up to be dashed. I have always stayed so focused on my career and my education and so guess I continue doing this until it happens. But yeah I give up with trying to make things work with people putting zero effort in. If I end up the most educated woman with the fittest gym body then so be it. I stop letting men make me cry today, I'm finished with that. Thank you!
Thats the way hun
Forget about guys for the moment and concerntrate on u. Be the best in every thing u do.
Love can wait , i promise u that it will happen when u least expect it.
Use this time to work on u , to work on ur career and to just enjoy life as much as u can without worrying about things that u have no control over.
Still here if u need to chat x