Sorry, but guys, I managed to walk inot that building with my tail between my legs and my ears floppy around my waist and wanting to howl, hoping , and preying that someone is going to listen, It WAS CANCELLED.i GET HOME, 10 MINUTES LATER THE APPOINTMENT CARD IS SLIPPED THRO MY DORR.....FOR GOD SAKE,., WELL ARE THEY GOING TO PAY ME FOR MY SHIFT AT WORK??? FOR TODAY AND TOMORROW, i CANT GO TOMORROW, ID HAVE TO TELL MY WORK, i AINT DOING THAT. i AM NORMAL i AM SOD IT, THE BEST COUNCILLORS ARE POURSELVES AND iF i WANT TO END MY LIFE , THEN ILL DO IT GOOD AND PROPER. The National Hell Service is crap anyway, god forbid, dont die anyone. I feel sorry for Beveridge and Beavan, nice Idea fellas, but not in this god fosaken hungover Thatcherite land
Okay, calmed dow, , sorry, How embarassing. Phoned the receptionist back and explained what had happened :o she was understanding. Dont know though I am still waiting for the phone to ring.
Okay, sorry I take it all back!!!! Appointment rescheduled!!! For later today, Phew!!! Lady eang, apologised and was very nice. Thank god for that then......I think I need a stronger chill pill, anyone else agree?
Well, met lady for appointment, she was lovely, approachable and kind. Feel a bit better allready, though that looney that was shouting at me and swinging his arms, made me shake a bit,,,,,but once he had passed I just thought...(what an absolute w....r!!!). Home safe and sound now. katy
Hi Katy
Glad you got to have an appointment - did she say who she was - or do you know who she is?
Is she a councillor or therapist of some kind?
Good luck with it anyway :D
I am getting more and more confident that the CBT is going to work but and this is a BIG BUT, it has been noticed by those around me that after each session I become quite withdrawn, feeling exhausted and drained for a couple of days after. :?
I didn't put 1 + 1 together until Nigel mentioned it but I can see it myself now.
Still, at least I know now why I have been feeling like I have since Tuesday pm up until this afternoon when my mood started to lift again.
No pain no gain?
Love 'n' hugs
Melbi xxx
Katy - keep us informed of your sessions. x
Hi melbi, thank you.
Yes, I was just blabbing my stuff to the councillor, she was very easy to talk to, everything I said, she seemd to have alot of understanding, and did not just deduct it to me being mental, or a moaner, it was reassuring just to meet a person, talk my stuff, and just be understood, Though like you, I found myself feeling withdrawn after. I am not sure, if it will work- I just hope it does. She even explained about managing my breathing, but I still find it pretty impossible to take a deep breathe in, she was laughing at me, and said you \"practically, dont breath\", i am thinking, yes I know, its a wonder Im still alive, damn it!! If I were dead I wouldnt have to think about things. Like you , she thinks I am anxious rather than depressed. I think yup!! Though I do think I fall in and out of my depressive states, give up my fight and loose my determination, stamina to fight for my life. The thing that bugs me is that I know that I have been anxious ever since birth - and its common knowledge in my fa,ily that I am an anxious person, and that this is what helps drive me, as long as its positive movements are anxious, you know, so you over compensate everything to make sure you are more than well prepared. Does that make any sense to you? Anyway, good luck with your new pill, I really hope you dont struggle with it as you did with citalopram. keep us informed :D Love an hugs to you and your family to. katy
Hi Katy :D
Oh me too! I'm still reluctant to take it but will be more aware of the side effects this time and hopefully being much stronger minded now than I was back then I'll be able to cope better should the side effects be anything like they were while taking citalopram.
I'm going to get the whole house in order tomorrow, cook so meals and freeze them and generally just be prepared for whatever is coming my way while trying these tablets.
Still, I noe at least have the sleeping pills so getting a good nights sleep everynight has to make it easier to cope - doesn't it? :shock:
With some luck when i go back in 2 weeks I'll be all fit and ready to go back to work !!!! I know here I go again :shock:
Take care
Love 'n' Hugs
Melbi xxx