I am looking for help about what to do with my boyfriend. After being in a relationship for almost a year and a half he has suddenly broke it to me that he is depressed. I was completely shocked and it took a while to sink in, however I love him so it doesnt change anything between us. However, he has started too much time with me to try and compensate going back to his life that he doesnt enjoy as much. It is beginning to get suffocating however I feel like he needs me and I cant tell him I need my space. I am just really struggling to understand this as I have never felt remotely depressed and feel as though all the help I give him isnt enough as it wont make him happy. He had always mentioned feeling down in the passing but i feel terrible as i didnt listen enough but now the thought of him going on anti depressants makes it all seem real.
I have heard that antidepressants would help. It'd lift his mood up
Maybe try and talk to his family about it to help out or he could try some therapy. Or he could try out a new hobby, like going to the gym or painting, I guess, I don't know
I know it feels like, just help him get through it. Hope this helped
Hey Sarah, support him, hold him, tell him everything is going to be ok. That's what he needs right now. My depression hit me in November and my wife told me she can't support me, I 'm viewing a rental property tomorrow and leaving her. In sickness and in health we swore on our wedding day. With your support he will recover quicker
thankyou!
thankyou!
Hi sarah, depression is truly an awful thing, i've suffered myself with it since 14 (now 22). I honestly believe that (from experience) antidepressants will hep him and your relationship. For me, i was down as could be and basically agoraphobic, after 7 weeks on antidepressants (citalopram) i started to see the light of day which gave me that little bit of extra motivation and clarity to move on the from the mental illness and better myself. Now months down the line i have absolute peace of mind, a job and a girlfriend with a great relationship.
There's currently a stigma around antidepressants that truly should not be there. Depression is the brain not being able to produce enough serotonin (the happy chemical in the brain) and therefore no matter how hard the person trys they can not be happy. That's nothing to do with you or his life or anything else. He will honeslty love you and the fact that he's still feeling depressed will be sending him in a negative cycle.
You just need to show him you love him and give support, help him through his antidepressants (there were quite bad sideeffects for me which went after 6 weeks) and before you know it he will be feeling better and you and him will be better than ever!
Keep going and don't feel suffocated. It can be a stressful period but if he trys to get through his depression and you work together (try and get him to opem up) both of you and your relationship will thrive!
Hope this helped and feel free to message me anytime for advice and support
Trust me just being there for him is helping depression is a very lonely place to be stuck inside your own head and feeling like everyone is against you but to have someone who will stay, encourage, support and be there is an amazing feeling he might not see it now but when he comes out of the other end he will be so greatful. That is really all you can do hun just be there for him I hope this helps
thankyou for your reply!
thanks leelaa!
I have been in this exact situation but the roles were reversed.. I was the person who became incredibly attached and devoted all my time to my boyfriend who eventually left me for another woman.
I know it may seem like suffocation, the only thing that could combat this is speaking upfront to him but let him know that it isn't him that you're uncomfortable with it's just the constant interaction.
In my case I was called names and laughed at by my ex, so as long as you make sure he knows that you love him, you just need to tell him.
I have changed my attitude by spending time alone and realising what I like and what I can do to be happy by myself, this is probably what he needs too.
People with depression tend to want to stay with whatever/whoever is making their life happier. That's it. It's not crazy stalker habits or anything.
He is probably just so down when he is alone
But yeah, you have to convince him to find things to enjoy alone, he needs to value alone time and it'll be healthier for you and especially him.
I realised it too late and my life hit rock bottom, I hope you and him can work through this. Too many of us have already messed up with the people we loved.
I feel like I have to warn you that medication doesn't always help, in fact it made me worse. It's his state of mind and outlook that isn't well, tablets are never really a solid solution.