My boyfriend thinks my mental health is worse than it really is.

Mental health
1

I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for about 5-6 months now. The last month or so I have been feeling really well though. I'm doing housework, I see my friends more often (maybe still not as much as I should) and I'm just in a better mood overall.

BUT my boyfriend still worries, which is understandable considering the state I was in a few months ago, even though I tell him I'm doing so much better. He tends to make things worse than they really are.

Recently I went to the beach for a couple of days with my friends. Good right? But I had told my friends that something had come up (which wasn't true) so I could stay home a little longer because of my anxiety. I thought I wasn't hurting anyone. I would rather say something happened than tell my friends I don't really want to see them.

When I came home, my boyfriend was waiting for me. He told me he couldn't believe I would lie to my friends and that this had pushed him over the edge, he already was having trouble with my depression.

He told me he had been to my dad and told him everything without my consent and they had decided it would be best if I stayed with my dad for a while (no idea what 'a while' meant). After a lot of crying and arguments and almost breaking up, I had told him I would do it. I'm not giving up on this relationship so easily.

A few other things that have happened lately:

-He read my diary

-He told me he really cares about me, but can't say he loves me (he did at the same time tell me which ones of his exes he has loved)

-He has never looked anything up about depression or anxiety (I have now sent him some links to sites I think would be helpful)

-I'm going to a psychologist because he asked me to

-When I asked him what more he wants me to do, he is always really vague and says something like: "you're not 100% yet" Not very helpfull...

Should I keep hoping that he will see that I'm actually doing really well?

Because I really DO love him and don't want to lose him.

 

2

forgive me for saying this.. becuase you have mental health issues and i have had that too... 

but since you came online for feedback... even if its negative.... 

im sorry but your months of depression has brought the man to fall out of love with you.. 

even if you say you are better, he is uncomfortable and is trying hard to let you go in a nice way, wihtout you contemplating suicide etc. 

please !

its not all about you... leave him and let him breathe.... he doesnt want this relationship any longer!

i know you are hurt by this, but you asked for the truth , and this is how it is !

3

I would just take a break, if he really cares about you he will agree. You have to get well and it's good you're getting help, it sucks having these issues and I would know dealing with this pain for so long but it does get better with time. Good luck

4

Hi Robin - sorry to read of your sitaution. He sounds very controlling, demonstrated by him digging into your diary and making decisions about your life without consulting you. I'm wondering whether he wants to keep you ill and what exactly he is getting out of that if true?

5

Hi

Thank you for responding.

I really appreciate it.

I never thought of him as controlling.

But when I wrote this down and read it again...it does sound really bad.

Most of these were in the past month or so, so I'm hoping it was just a fase and he realizes what he has done.

I'm seeing him again tomorrow.

If he doesn't feel bad about it, I might just have to end my relationship.

6

Thank you for that.

But I won't take a break. I'm already separated from him now and if that doesn't help, I will just have to break up with him. I have had enough patience.

He sometimes makes me feel bad about my depression and I don't know if he realizes it.

If not and I can't make him see it, maybe he is just not capable of dealing with my depression.

Again, thank you for your reply.

7

If he wants to break up with me, he can tell me that himself.

I won't do it for him.

Also it's not a nice way, it's a really mean way of doing it, cruel even.

This is actually the first time I have complained about anything.

You do seem really convinced about this and I wonder why.