My depressed boyfriend ignores me but not his friends, am i the problem?

Mental health
1

Hi everyone,

My boyfriend who suffers depression tends to shut me out when things get to be at their worst. He will reply to texts, although many hours later and says he doesn't like the way he treats me but then does not do anything to treat me better. He recently said that he would try to stop going out partying (drinking and doing drugs) as he knows that it makes his depression worse. However he has not stopped and I feel like he tries to hide it from me and never tells me he is going out, I only find out through social media.

What i'm wondering is if i am the problem and he doesn't want to be with me but won't tell me straight that that is the issue. It can be hard to see him interact normally with all of his friends (although he has told me he hasn't told any of them about his depression) but he can't seem to even send me one text. If i am the problem i would rather him just say so so I can leave him alone to work through his issues independently, but I'm worried to ask him if it has something to do with me because I don't want to appear needy or pressure him despite him being the one to want a committment from me. 

Is it normal for someone dealing with depression to act this way? Why can he appear to act so normally with his friends but not want to talk to me at all? And should I ask if I am the problem or wait it out until he contacts me?

2

Yep we all just living the dream smacked outta our faces on drink and drugs and living the dream

normally ppl that have depression cant be bothered getting out of bed

just putting it out there

3

I have to disagree with you on that.  Much depends on the severity of the depression as many are a lot milder than that and can and do get out of bed.  It doesn't mean they don't suffer with depression though which adversively affects their lives. 

 

4

Well he is not helping himself is he?  Has he seen his doctor and is he getting any help?   How would he feel if you just went out and didn't let him know?   I bet you he would hate it. 

He is obviously not prepared to give any committment if he is doing this.  Don't forget actions speak much louder than words.  If he was committed to you he would show it.  He isn't.