My adventures with my genitalia have been eventful, to say the least. We've been through an awful lot together. I was born with hypospadias (thankfully a milder case) and it was corrected with surgery. Unfortunately, this surgery left scarred tissue around my modified urethra. And this tissue was prone to inflammation. I had quite an adventure with this as there were times where it would close off completely and I would burn myself by urinating. I had to put a tube into my urethra to keep it open and had many subsequent surgeries to help keep it open, too. I was 16 by the time they figured out to replace the scarred tissue (and had been living with the scarred tissue since 2 years of age). After that, everything seemed peachy. That is, until I had a sexual encounter with my then-girlfriend in mid-2018 without using lubrication. I was circumcised, so natural lubrication doesn't occur for me. It was stupid and irresponsible but we didn't think much of it. All was well. It wasn't rough. It couldn't be, because I was quite overweight and unfit at the time. I still am overweight but have lost weight since then. So, we stopped after a while - maybe 15 minutes - and usually we'd find some way to make me reach orgasm. This time, however, I wasn't feeling like it. I felt "spent", I guess. Like I had already finished. Little did I know that the numbness would remain until this day. I have no idea what happened, or why. I didn't feel a painful twang, and we were both virgins when we started dating so she didn't give me an STD or something. I didn't bleed. Everything seemed normal until it happened. But now I've had all sorts of weird and wacky sensations and things going awry down there. My meat and veg would go to sleep when I'd sit in certain positions. Discolouration occurred around the tip. My right testicle occasionally swelled up (still does). My left testicle seems smaller than it used to be. My sensation is temperamental. Some days it can be amazing, but most days it isn't. After masturbating, sometimes subsequent masturbation sessions feel better. Sometimes it feels underwhelming. I've recently struggled with getting erections, though I believe that was in part due to using a handheld massager on the area when I was feeling particularly desperate. Just once, thankfully. Maybe it'll heal. But all sorts of other things have occurred since mid-2018: strong-smelling urine, itching in the pubic region (around where it meets the thighs - are there glands there?), difficulty getting erect from visual stimuli, patchy sensation, testicular asymmetry (seems more extreme than it used to be), etc. It generally looks normal. But things aren't how they used to be - not by a long shot. I have absolutely no idea what happened to me, but it has taken its toll on me emotionally. I fell into a depression because of this and other significant reasons including the dissolution of my relationship and my digestive health issues. I have a new partner and she's amazing and sexy and I want to be able to satisfy her. I struggle with self-worth because of this. I feel incomplete. I am awaiting an appointment for a urologist finally, but nobody took it seriously for years and I was told that it was anxiety- or stress-related. Maybe my erectile difficulties can be chalked up to that to a large degree (though I think some trauma did occur from the massager), but I don't believe everything else can be. If anyone knows anything about this, I would appreciate your opinion. I've been trying to eat healthier and exercise. But I am a person prone to stress and worry. I'm getting desperate, hence the blunder with the handheld massager. I'm also 24, if anyone is wondering. If you read this far, thank you. :)
I am really sorry you have had all this stuff going on. The Urologist is the best one to help you with this, you will need to find one that can empathise with your emotional traumas over the years, so you may need to see different urologists until you find one that can be most helpful to you/
You may also benefit greatly from seeing a Sex Therapist so sort your Mindful stuff on moving forward once you have seen the Urologist