I haven't used this site for while... I used to be quite the regular on the Anxiety / Panic attack sections however the fact that I don't come online so much these days says a great deal about where I am at with my progress....
So last Friday I had my first ever Endoscopy..........
I made a trademark mistake of coming on here a couple of days before the procedure, kind of in hope of some positive comments to help settle my mind which admittedly went into overdrive a few times in the days leading up to it all......Needless to say that the majority of the comments on here were rather offputting to say the least! The more comments I read, the more I began to dream the procedure and worry.
BUT HERE ME NOW...I AM HERE!!! NO HARM DONE WHAT SO EVER!!
The evening before my endoscopy was an absolute nightmare. I went to bed and my mind went into overdrive!...I spent most of the night tossing and turning and allow myself to subconsciously become annoyed and worked up....Despite my Endoscopy being at 9.45am, I didn't manage to get to sleep until 6am!!!! And then I was awake at 7:30am!!....Absolute bloody nightmare!!
Now let me give you a quick insight into me.....About 2 years ago I began my "Anxiety Rollercoaster"....It was triggered by an allergic reaction to some prescribe medication. This was misdiagnosed by my doctor who then decided to slam me on Cotalopram and this began a life changing 12 months of hell for me.....Panic attacks daily and constant health concerns!. Most days I found myself worrying about my health, feeling like I was dying and convinced that I was a ticking timebomb ready to keel over.........It took a great deal of willpower but in the end I finally found the inner strength to break the mould...2 years later I work for the Ambulance Service believe it or not!...Out there rushing to those who genuinely need help!....If you would have told me that I would be doing what I do now, I would have told you that oyu are insane!....
SOOOO BACK TO MY ENDOSCOPY.
I had all of the usual concerns that I have seen others have on here really. As a former serious sufferer of health anxiety, I guess my main concern was my breathing. I used to fixate on my breathing and although I have pretty much conquered this, very rarely I find that if I have too much time on my hands and if I am a little under the weather with a cold or something, I sometimes mildly fixate on my breathing......therefore obviously this procedure was something that brought these concerns back to the surface for a while.
On the morning of the procedure after a rough night and little sleep I got out of bed and approached my Endoscopy in the same way that I did my Anxiety! I hit it head on.....Faced the music and danced so to speak.
I arrived at the hospital 30 minutes before as requested for my pre assessment and despite this the clinic was running extremely late, this left me with a extra 2 hours to stew in the waiting room and I will be honest at one point I had a slight wobble where I turned to my wife and said "any longer and I am out of here".....This wasn't my annoyance at being late at all, but my concerns of the unknown coming to the surface!...
Finally I was called in by my nurse for my pre assessment.......He cracked straight on with my Obervations and the results were those of a subconsciously nervous man I guess!.......My Blood Pressure was 140/100 and my pulse Tachy at around 120bpm.......I explained what I did for a job and that I know my normal ranges and that these results were probably simply down to a bit of "white coat syndrome".....Thirty seconds later after a few calm breaths my pulse was dropping down towards 80 and I was calm again!......Taken a while to perfect this technique but it works!....
The nurse asked me how I wanted my procedure carried out....
"Would you like Sedation?".........
After reading the horror stories on here it initially appeared that Sedation would be the way to go and the only way to endure and survive an endoscopy!.....But no I was sticking to my guns and fighting this thing head on!......To overcome something like this would be a massive further step forward for me therefore it was something that I was going to do.
I then went back out into the waiting room whilst being called in for the procedure.....
Around 30 minutes later this happened........I was called in my the doctor who first asked me if this was my first endoscopy. I said yes however I did know who it works due to research and my job.....She then went on to confirm that I had opted to "no sedation"......In which I agreed.
I was then led into the room for the procedure......Four members of Hospital staff were present, one lead doctor, one trainee doctor, one nurse and one support worker......
The doctor then gave me a few sprays of Lidocaine to numb my throat.....This happened twice, a few sprays and then I was instructed to swallow, before a few more in which I was asked to say "ahh" before swallowing again.....This enables the spray to hit the back of the throat and completely numb things for you.
A plastic mouthguard was placed in my mouth with the instruction to gently bite down on it......I was asked to lay on down on my left hand side with my arms crossed over my chest and my neck straight and forward facing........And with little time to think about it, the lights were dimmed and away we went!...
The camera itself was around the diameter of a 5p piece......I am telling you this to be honest with you.....However PLEASE don't let this worry you as the camera won't hurt you at all....The throat is quite spacious and can easily take a camera of this size!....HONESTLY!.....
With no time to think the camera was in as instructed by the doctor who reassuringly talks you through the whole procedure as they do it in order to keep you in the loop and calm.
The first 10 second or so are probably the worse part.....They are unconfortable and as a newbie a little scary too however HONESTLY keep calm and compose yourself because after these first moments, the procedure does get a little easier.....
As the camera goes down the throat, naturally you will probably gip....I did several times as my gag reflex kicked in. I had a quick "I don't like this moment as I gagged a couple of times" however I knew I had to keep calm and the nurse and doctor were quick to reassure me that this was normal and that this would stop in a second.....And sure as hell it did....
Immediately after passing the sensitive, gag inducing areas...You begin to head down towards the stomach where there are no nerve endings and stuff so bo gagging, sensation or horribleness......
AT THIS POINT I BEGAN TO REALISE SOMETHING!....I CAN BREATH!!
The camera is down in my stomach and I don't feel anything what so ever. Air is going in and out of my lungs quite normally, in fact my mouth is nice and open therefore I can breath quite nicely to be fair!.....I could breath, I wasn't in pain.....Everything was fine........
SO WHAT DID I DO?
I used to whole thing as a massive step forward and learning curve for me!...I began to look up at the monitor and watch the whole procedure!....The doctor noticed me watching and said "would you like me to turn the monitor so you can watch properly?"........In which I ever managed to make a sort of "yuu" sound in reply.. :-)
The doctor procceded to talk me through the procedure whilst I watched it all on the monitor in front of me. At this point I had even calmed down enough to have a little joke with myself in my head.....I remember thinking... Hey, at least whilst I am watching them, I know they aren't helping themselves to any of my insides!"........
BIOPSY........
On inspection of my stomach a slightly reddening area was discover and whilst the doctor tells me that he didn't believe it to be anything really, he was going to take a couple of biopsies just to rule out gastritis and stuff.....
He explained that a small grabber would be sent down the pipe and that I wouldn't feel anything rather than a little tug inside maybe......And true the the word this is exactly what happened. Down went the little tool and I watched on screen as it has a couple of little nubbles of my stomach for biopsy!.......The sensation was minimal and could only be described as a slight popping sensation in my stomach, similar to gas moving and rumbling.
FINISHING OFF......
I was then instructed that the pipe camera was to be removed and they talked me through the process as they did so, pointing out on the screen where the camera was as they brought it out.....
Again as the camera made it's way through my throat, I had a little tickle....Just the one but a little tickle and a little gag however this was minimal and ......That was it!....Camera out, procedure over!.
.................................................................................................................
So to iron out some of your concerns........
1. I didn't have sedation. I could have and no doubt that would have put me more at ease but I hit it head on and I am glad I did. A couple of moments of unease however quickly settled with the realisation that I was fine.
2. Will I choke on saliva with a numb throat???......NO!.....The throat will be numb but will still have some function. Any excess saliva will be removed by a nurse using simple but effective suction. being laid on your side makes it extremely easy for them to do this safely with no discomfort.
3. What if I can't breath???.......You can I can assure you!.......You will quickly realise this and will be at ease!.....Don't think about it honestly!....Your mouth is open with a mouth guard which makes breathing really easy. Your breathing won't be effected at all!
4. The size of the pipe??........Like I said around the size of a 5p piece from what I remember but honestly DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THIS!......The throat is bigger than you think!......It goes down easily and takes up little room in there!.....You would be shocked!!......It in no way impedes your breathing what so ever!......And once it passes the throat and causes the tickling and a couple of gips, you wouldn't really realise it is there as you can not feel a thing.....
5. What about gagging? What if I am sick?....Will I choke...........NO YOU WON'T!!!........You are told not to eat and drink so many hours before your procedure!......Just stick to this!..........Your stomach will be completely empty as all contents will have passed through.........Don't get me wrong the gipping is well yuck but it is quickly over as quick as it began...A couple of gips and the camera is passed and the horrible sensation has gone!....
.................................................................................................................
Please don't allow yourself to get over worked up about this procedure!!
If you really need sedation and feel you would benefit from it then go for it, I can not comment on it as I decided against it however I can say that after the first 10 seconds.....I had a sudden realisation that I could breath and that I was fine and after that it wasn't to bad at all......To the extent that I watched the examination on the monitor and it was actually quite fascinating.......
If I had known it was going to be asd simple as that......I wouldn't have lost a nights sleep and I wouldn't have allowed myself to panic as much!....
It is unusual at first maybe but honestly you will be fine!