My experience with Anxiety. Rabies Edition

Mental health
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Before I begin I would first like to point out that it is always a good idea to get some professional help to take a look at any symptoms you are experiencing. Anxiety is a powerful thing, but you should NEVER right it off your self. Go to a doctor first, and if they find you are ok, then you are ok.

Hello,

  I am writing this post (forgive me if this is long) to help my self and perhaps help you as well if you are suffering from Anxiety. I am not requesting help, but instead providing it. Listen to my story, and my symptoms and maybe this will put your mind at easy.

  Warning: this will be long.

  First let me get my >fear< out of the way. Make no mistake, this is a fear and not symptoms because I have no symptoms, it is all in my mind. Just like anyone else with axiety. My big bad fear? Rabies. For the past 36 days I have been convinced that I have had rabies, and now I have a side effect of this fear called Globus Sensation, (fear of something in your throat) which also triggered my fear of rabies symptoms. Before we continue, let me point out something very clear.

IF I HAD RABIES FOR REAL I'D BE DEAD. No ifs, or buts. I fear because Globus Sensation has given me the fear of my throat not being able to swallow that it is linked to Rabies, but If that was true I would already be in the hospital saying good bye to loved ones. Why? Because once the major symptoms of rabies starts to appear you have between 4 to 10 days to live before things get really messed up. I have had Globus sensation for 6 days now and I still drink, eat, and laugh all the same. GLOBUS SENSATION is a direct link to stress and anixety, case closed on that matter.

  Now to continue with what I was saying before. This all started one day when I cooked a steak for my wife and her mother that was over for dinner with us. Peppercorn Steak to be exact. When I was eating my steak, I noticed mine was a bit more runny than the others (my steak was a bit bigger in the center) so I had a bit of blood in it, no biggy right? I cooked the sucker in perfect temperature so you would think my mind would be at ease right? Nope, infact when I saw what I had been eating my mind said, "Oh man, this has rabies." That was it, that was my down fall. I have suffered from anxiety before in my life but never like this.

  QUICK INFO TIDBIT! :" Rabies can not be transferred by blood, feces, urine or anything else. It can ONLY be transmitted by saliva from a bite, or saliva that has entered a wound you have on your body. In VERY RARE cases, it can enter your body through your nose but this is again VERY RARE. It can not be given to you from meat from an animal. Only infected brain tissue."

  So I suffered with this panic attack that I was going to have rabies at some point down the road, even though it was impossible. Eating meat from an infected animal it self is not even enough to give you rabies unless you are eating brain matter for some reason. 5 or so days passed before something major happened that made my fear even stronger. A wild cat in our neighbourhood was hit by a car. It was a sad day, and I volunteered to move the poor animal to the side of the road with protected hands by a cloth. After moving the animal I washed my hands fully and spent the night with my upset wife.

  After a couple days my anxiety was starting to loose the fight with the rabies fear because too much info was popping up about how impossible it really was to get from meat. So it found a new strength....the dead cat. May I remind you this homeless cat was our friend. It ate at everyones house on the block. It loved wet food and infact it had some wet food the day of his death. This cat was perfectly healthy and perfectly normal before he met his sad end. But my mind did not care. It does not care to this day, 36 days later, that it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to have rabies. I live in Canada as well, and there has only been around 25 cases of human rabies since 1924 ! And they were all from either raccoons or bats. Not even a single cat. In fact in most places of the world, Bats are the main reason why people get rabies, followed by dogs and raccoons.

  That was not enough and IS not enough for my brain to realize I do not have rabies.

  You read that correctly...I still suffer from this anxiety. Though a few moments ago I said...no.....no more. Anxiety will not have my mind with out a fight. I WILL FIGHT IT. I WILL take control of MY mind again. That is what I want to share with you all. FIGHT IT...for the love of what ever you believe in. This is an attack on your mind. Your worst fears are given life by the power of your brain. If it can be used to make your body emulate symptoms of what ever you fear, then it can be used to correct it.

  Right now, I have tingling and slight numbness in my arms, along with globus sensation. I have my anxiety symptoms and my stress symptoms joining forces to attack my mind and body but I will hold my ground. You better believe I have put my foot down.

What I am currently doing to help my self:

- I am starting to mediate, with breathing excersizes to help my anxiety.

- When ever my anxiety starts to whisper in my ear, I firmly say in my mind, NO. Just simply, NO. No I do not, no you are wrong, no..no...NO!

- Stop researching online. You are not helping your self, you are helping the anxiety. It WANTS you to read things online because it NEEDS more information to use against you. GO TO A DOCTOR!

  Join me, tell me your fear, your anxiety.

 

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Absolutely gloriously, wonderfully, thoughtfully RIGHT ON, Cory. I don't think I have ever read or written on this so well!

Many here will benefit tremendously. We all applaud and thank you.

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I fear i have ms,i have 2 tingly feet 3 numb toes,one tingly hand/arm with numb fingers,my cheeks are completely numb and the rest of my face tingles,i did for a couple of weeks get nearly back to my usual self,felt the balance of meds were working and i would be ok then bang its back,worse than ever,4 docs have said chronic health anxiety,not ms,have a neuro appointment on saturday only cos i was having constant panic attecks and meltdowns at the doctors surgery at least twice a week,im panicky/shakey/twitchy and cannot get my mind off the thought that i have ms,even tho 4 docs have said no x

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Thanks, Cia. I just hope people can read this and understand that they are not a lone. Anxiety is a powerful thing but if we share our ideas and stand together we can fight it.

Your message has helped me too. I feel very whole, knowing someone enjoyed it. Thanks!

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Hi, Sarah.

 First let me say that your anxiety attacks, (Which is what they are, keep in mind), make mine look pale in comparison. Maybe I can help you by letting you know that I once feared MS as well. I noted in my main post that I have had panic attacks all my life and one of them was for MS. You see I tend to have a twitch in my back every so often that makes me thing I have the beginning signs of MS (totally ignoring the fact I have INSANELY bad posture most of the time. My wife says I look like a chicken with my head all the way out if she doesn't remind me to stand straight)

  MS is a very scary thing. I just want to let you know that you are doing the right thing by going to the doctor, but I also want you to know that MS is a very easy thing for doctors to find. Your very brain signals and muscle signals completely write it out for them. Your neuro appointment will tell you the truth. TRUST it. MS is a demon that does not hide at all from doctors.

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Wow I loooove this!! This definitely helps calm my nerves a little and makes me feel not so alone.

I'm always experiencing anxiety symptoms even if I'm not worrying about something at the moment, but it doesn't take much for my anxiety to go haywire.

I get a headache and think I have a tumor...hello????? You just didn't drink enough water today

When I had a concussion a few months ago, you best believe I was convinced they didn't take my fall serious enough and my brain was bleeding

If I'm in the bathroom getting ready and here the floor crackle I think there is an intruder... I have wood floors, they are going to randomly crackle sometimes

I read about some random illness I didn't know the symptoms of and then I all of a sudden have at least three of the symptoms

One of my main problems is that I google EVERY little symptom when in reality my symptoms are more than likely just from anxiety, or nothing near as serious as I'm convinced I have.

It is really hard trying to tell myself that it's just anxiety. Sometimes even after the doctor says I'm fine, I don't believe them and go get 2nd/3rd opinions.... how crazy is that???

Sometimes I think I'm going nuts, I'm not on any medication or do anything natural to help with anxiety... that could be why mine is so bad... I want to know what it's like to not be worried/scared all the time

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Hi Bethany,

  I know exactly what you mean. The funny thing about my rabies scare is that I didn't have any of the symptoms untell I researched it deeper. That is exactly why I said, that your anxiety looks for information to use again you. It is smart. It is a smart, wiggling worm that knows exactly what it is doing. Sometimes I can't even feel GOOD with out googling information, that inturn can be used against me down the road. How messed up is that, right?

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Thanks cory,im really in a mess as my apoointment gets closer,this time last week i felt completely different,i felt 90%myself now im back down there,im on mirtazipine,beta blockers,have been for ages now and thought they were finally kicking in! I feel like so weak too,dont know which scares me the most the face thing or my hand,but the symptoms are there from the moment i wake til i fall asleep,havent had a panic attack for a couple of weeks but just feel in a constant state of panic x

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I hope you get more answers when you get the results back. Keep in mind too, Sarah, that MS usually does not attack in such a strong force right away. It begins very slowly, and takes years and years to fully mature into something that can be described as un liveable. Just remain strong, and continue to tell your anxiety no. It won't fix it right away, it will snarl and act like a child, but you just have to remain positive and keep saying no.

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YES!!!! A lot of the time I can't feel good without googling either! Sometimes I won't even feel like googling and just don't want to but the anxiety makes me do it anyway and then I start freaking out about whatever it is that I googled. There has even been times where I feel like only Google and I know what is wrong with me and the doctors are just missing it, which again starts freaking me out. It's crazy how powerful anxiety can be! Are you on any medication for it or do you just do natural things to help deal with it?

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   I have been fighting my anxiety all on my own so far. Just breathing practices, calm rain music. Stuff like that. Though I have never felt an anxiety attack like the one I have now. I am holding against it, but for the first time in my life I am going to my doctor to talk about it. I don't believe medication is always the answer, but I like to know all my options.

  The way you describe your google story is pretty much on spot. Google sometimes feels like my only true doctor. It seems kind of weird for me to describe anxiety as a thing, as a creature of some sort, as an attacker. Though doesn't it all make sense when you stop for a moment and turn to look at your anxiety, and realize that it is actually making you do these things? It really is almost like a monster. It has helped me through my years with anxiety to view it as a living thing. It kind of...turns it into a mortal thing that can be beaten.

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Great post! I wish I knew what triggers my anxiety and panic. After years of experience with it, there's still no answer as to why it happens. Mine came on out of the blue when my daughter was 2, and now she's almost 24, and I still have it. My sister also got struck with it after her first child, and in exactly the same way. Many years later, and she still has it, just not as bad. I'm stuck because I can only fight the symptoms, but not the demon. Many doctors say that anxiety and depression go hand in hand, but for years I never believed that was my case. Eventually I found a doctor that confirmed that anxiety was the main diagnosis, and said that there were depression symptoms due to anxiety hindering my life. That made absolute sense to me, even though I didn't feel depressed, just frustrated. I can say that with certainty, because I've recently been hit with legit depression, and it's not like anything I've ever fully felt before. It does heighten the anxiety, but not to a level I've never felt before.

This is possibly one fight that I won't win, but at least I know I gave it a shot.

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  I wouldn't count your self out just yet. That is like handing the victory over to your demons before you are even counted out. What really gets to me about what you said, is about your daughter, and your sister having her first child. I too, just recently became a father. My girl is just over a month old now. Perhaps a new way for me to help my own anxiety is to look beyond what my fear is, and realize what I am afraid of losing. I guess anxiety has a bigger grip on you when you have more to leave behind. Kind of reveals a big weak spot in anxiety's defense honestly.

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I am a strong minded, sometimes opinionated person who usually has to be wrestled to the ground to take any meds. HOWEVER, when the beast hit me, I have never been so scared in my life...no idea what was going on...stroke, heart, insanity? After three days I got myself to urgent care, was seen quickly, and diagnosed immediately with an anxiety attack. He didn't tell me what it was at the time, but I didn't care. I knew this doctor and trusted him....was out the door and on the way to the pharmacist with his scrip  literally before he knew I was gone.

Within one day I saw a little relief. Within a week, with two dose increases, I was clear thinking enough to search for answers on how to help myself and what I was really dealing with, I ended up here where I learned what anxiety disorder is, and how to help myself, and then to help others.

I got the right meds first time out..only needed higher dose. others have to try another or a few. When you have the right anti anaxiety for you, you will know it. It will fit you like a glove. Hope this helps, Cory.

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I am like you in the sense that I do not like medication, but if I find something that gives me an edge against this and helps me find more ways to beat it, I will give it a shot.

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Well said. For many ur story can be a great deal of help.

thanks you for sharing. 

Many cannot control others to change the trigger that set them off.mthe only way to control our anxiety triggers is to control them ourselves thru change and education.

many reasons and causes uses for anxiety. Many of us haven't the luxury to choose to change the triggers outside forces that causes anxiety. 

Anxiety can lower your immune system. Meds can help as well as exercise to push thru and produce endorphins the good hormones.

take care 

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 sounds good

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Well said, Hope!! We can't change the trigger, only our attitude toward it. Maybe it was Zig Ziggler (well known self-help speaker a while back) that said, the only thing we can control or change in life is our attitude.

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A quote from Maya Angelo."If ya don't like something change it"

"if ya can't change it, change your attitude".

In most cases in my learning experience with coping with anxiety, means changing a whole belief system in some cases. Educate as much as possible, positive experiences can make the whole makeup of our personality change. Even by putting a simple smile on our face to strangers can make their day. Simple acts of kindness can change my attitude in an instant. 

So much depends on attitudes. The way we see things and respond to others makes all the difference.

 

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This experience has changed me in many ways. I now make it a point to, as you say, smile at strangers, and... to look for the humor in everything. I am also more emotionally available. Great post, Hope.        I think I will take up giggling again.