Hi Anon991100, my boyfriend and I has the same problem as you guys. Or almost the same. He had his LASIK surgery a couple of years ago, since then he had eye problems (like stinging pain) everytime I visit him or he visits me here. I am Asian and he is European. I did tried to change all my cosmetics to non-allergic or hypoallergenic ones, but still he is suffering from such pain. It is really frustrating to see him suffer. We also tried to use all anti-allergy detergents, like for very sensitive people but it has helped a bit. Now we are starting to think that he is probably allergic to me. Did you guys found out about what's causing your problem as well? My boyfriend talked to his sister which is a doctor and she said it could probably caused by some oil that I use, but the thing is, I don't use oil on my body and I hate it as well. Does your girlfriend uses such? I hope you guys are getting some light on to it!
We actually ended up breaking up, for reasons unrelated to the allergic reactions. We never found out what caused the reactions.
However, I hope you have a better luck with this.
Maybe you are used to wearing the allergic perfumes or deodoranst and you havent noticed that? I think its something you probably wear always with and the smell can also make your girlfrend fell ill. Remember about all the chemistry you are using everyday! Shampoo, body lotion, hair condition or tooth paste. In every kind od those things can be allergic stuff. Do you have animals? Because you can have the fur on your clothes! You shouldnt eliminate everythng ,but thing after thing, then you will be sure what is making yours girlfriends allergic at you. Hope you will find the awnser and have good time with your love
Hi Anon991100 me and my girlfriend seem to have similar or the same problem as you.
I'm from Europe and she is from USA. The first time we met she didn't show any symptoms for about 5 days. We were in hotel in Europe together. Then we travelled to another country in Europe and slept in a different hotel, and she woke up with a swollen and red eye. In about 3 days it got really bad, and both her eyes were extremely itchy and red and she had a rash on her face, neck and shoulders.
After 3 more days she went back to US and in about 3-4 days she got better. Then after 3 months she came back to Europe to see me again where we stayed in a different hotel, and her allergy started again. At this point we thought it was detergent in the hotel sheets because it always becomes worse in the morning when she wakes up. This time the allergy started after the first night she woke up with only red eyes that lasted for couple days. Soon after that the skin around her eyes became very itchy and red, and there was some mucus in her eyes. She also began to have a rash on her neck, face and shoulders. Everything became worse the longer we were there and the rash was slowly spreading to other parts of her body, but it was just mild on those parts. However, she never had any rash on her private parts.
Then she went back to US and once again the rash and her eyes became better in matter of days, but skin around her eyes took about a month to fully heal. We still thought it was the detergent in the hotel sheets.
Now I live with her in US in her house. I am here for less than a week and she already started having red eyes. I washed all my clothes that I brought with her detergent. I use her soap and shampoo and I don't use anything else. And for sure she is not allergic to my shaving gel. I don't think me and my girlfriend have spent as much time together as you and your girlfriend and we are at the beginning of resolving this issue. We will post updates if we find anything useful.
If you find a solution let us know. It would help us a lot.
I think we found what the problem is. Not 100% sure but the treatment is working. It's probably demodex mites that are in my hair. They can also live in the eyelashes and irritate the face skin and other parts of the body.
The treatment that we chose is that I wash my hair every day with Head & Shoulders clinical strength with 1% of Selenium Sulfide, and my girlfriend doesn't have much of the problem with the mites in her hair so she washes her head with the same shampoo twice a week or as needed. On her eyes and on all the rash she uses the combination of olive oil with few drops of tea tree essential oil which kills demodex mites. So far we did it for couple days and it improved a lot.
Good to hear you see improvements Bruce.
Your situation sounds a lot like mine.
Can you describe in more detail how she uses the olive oil and tea tree oil?
Does she mix it with water?
Rub it on the skin with her fingers or use something else?
Thanks in advance
Thank you for this! After having looking into this, I'm pretty sure this could be the reason for my symptoms too. My (now ex) boyfriend might have had Rosacea that is often linked with demodex. However, since we're not together anymore, there is no way to prove this wrong or right. Anyway, it's nice to finally know the probable cause for the symptoms.
We followed the directions on the box of the tea tree essential oil which said to put 12 drops into 1 fl oz (about 30 ml) of olive oil.
I think olive oil is better than water because it counteracts the drying effect of tea tree oil. You can also purchase tea tree ointment or creme from Amazon which we just got today and it works good too.
She uses cotton buds to apply it making sure she puts it around her eyes and on her eyelashes but not in the eye. It's not that dangerous to put it in the eye but it has uncomfortable, minty feeling at first.
Hi,reading some of the posts, I am shocked.
I have the exact horrible problem with my girlfriend. She is from Morocco and I'm Canadian. Everytime we meet up, I would have skin rashes/hives superrrrr itchy that got worse over time or on new parts of my body, swollen lips, itchy eyes...total nightmare. I though at first I was allergic to something in Morocco. Then when she came, I though it was my work environement, cat allergies at home, the washing or drying machine...I though about every damn thing possible...but none of it makes sense. I tryed to co move to a new apartment, buy anti allergen soap and detergent, etc. Anyway, point is when she's away I get better and then as soon as we meet up it flares up again.
All that to say, that this mite thing on her hair does make ALOT of sens. Any recent news on the treatment bruce? What about you Anon?
This is something that prolly affect a lot of people but boy is it hard to figure it out. And to live with that is absolutely nightmarish.
Jules
The tea tree oil + clinical strength Head and Shoulders shampoo worked for us and we don't have problems anymore. We saw improvements right away and all the symptomps went away in about couple weeks.
We still keep using it but I believe in 1-2 months of treatment the mites should completely go away.
Before we knew what it was we went to the doctor and they couldn't figure out what it was but they had allergy suspicion, but it's not because none of the allergy medications ever worked.
From the symptoms you described I believe you have the same problem that we had.
Hi guys!
Where did everyone go? No posts and update in 7 months?
I have the exact same problem with my girlfriend and feel so relieved to read this.
Did anyone find out anything new?
I am in tears reading this. I am so allergic to my boyfriend. Thankfully we have the internet to anonymously trade ideas about being allergic to our lovers. I am going to give him some anti-mite shampoo and tea tree oil and see of that helps. I am praying. I love him and don't want to see it that I am allergic to him. My allergies have been terrible since we have been dating. I had gotten them under control for 5 months before I started dating him. He does live in a somewhat moldy house. It's been remediated to where he says it's fine for him but I am severely allergic to his house to where my throat starts to close and my exposed skin hives. Since I refuse to go to his house, we see each other at my house or a public place. I will never go to his house because it smells damp and moldy still, even slightly from the outside. I didn't want to hurt his feelings saying it was gross so instead I asked him to move because it feels haunted. It does feel both haunted and moldy. He won't move. Recently we tried having him at my place for an extended period of time and we also went out of town. We were using an essential oils blend before that helped my allergies, but recently he started having severe allergies and wheezing and said the blend of oils made him really sick even smelling it. Maybe using just tea tree without any other oils will be okay for him plus head and shoulders which is anti-mite anti-fungal. My intuition says he is carrying around something really bad. I'm not sure if it's hauntedness from his mold-damaged house. I considered some kind of candida or aspergillus. Reading this I'm going to try mite shampoo as a last resort. I do feel like bugs are biting me sometimes and it goes away if he is out of town or I don't see him. I bought him clothes to have different clothes over here. I make him put his clothes and shoes outside. He showers immediately before we see each other and immediately when he comes over. I can't take it anymore. It might not be him that I am allergic to but my intuition says it's him, and he is carrying around the hauntedness from his spooky damp house. Some people pick up on the spooky factor and most don't. 2 women I know were like let me do a background a check on him for you and I didn't influence that as I would never say anything negative about it to anyone who knows us. Intuitively I think the spooky factor has to do with that house. My parents adore him. He's smart, successful, and I fell in love with him very hard. In every other way he is my soul mate. I don't think the mite shampoo is going to fix it but it's worth a try if it solved it for 2 others on this page. I love him and he is wanting to get married. I'm so sad that I am allergic to my boyfriend.
Have you ever thought about some food that she eats in Europe and avoid in Asia?
I was recently reminded about this post and I felt like I should give an update. Sadly me and the girl in question broke up at the beginning of 2017, hence why there have been no updates after around that time. This of course means that from my side you shouldn't count on any new clues or information regarding the problem we had at the time. The only thing I can contribute at this time is that we never found out what exactly caused the allergic reaction despite our efforts. Me and my ex are still on good terms, and after we broke up she hasn't had any similar allergic reaction. Perhaps if she ever does get a similar reaction without my presence, we might shed some more light on this particular post. The problems with the allergy turned out to be only a very minor reason in the breakup, so don't be afraid the same thing will happen in your relationship because of allergy.
I wish all of you out there the best of luck with your issues.
I'm sorry you have broken up but glad you remain on good terms.
Good luck to you both.
Very glad to have found this thread - though I know most of you have not posted for a while if you do see this I would very much appreciate an update on any treatments that have worked for you! My partner and I have been together for nearly two years, before we knew each other I was totally 100% healthy but about 3 months after we started dating I've been fighting the symptoms you have all mentioned. We now live together and I fell like I'm going round in circles with being constantly itchy. VERY sore eyes and face and its really getting us both down.
I have been allergy tested and it came back with cats and mould - we did used to live in a mould ridden flat but have since moved but with no improvement to my condition.
Ive got an appointment with a dermatologist in a few weeks time, but I'm not sure they will be able to solve it as many of you have already said, all doctors have so far dismissed it.
Any advise much appreciated as its driving me crazy and as Im pretty sure my partner and I are for the long run I can't live with this forever!!!!
Hi guys! I can't tell you how much of a relief it was to read this - so many of you have been through exactly what I'm going through! Whenever I see my boyfriend (we are long distance) I get terrible rashes and my eyes swell up and it takes a few days after he leaves before they go away. I thought it was his laundry detergent, but he changed it and it hasn't fixed anything. He doesn't use any products like soap or cologne I could be allergic too. I recently used a sleeping bag he used a month ago and got allergic to that, so I've ruled out any kind of lice living in his hair because they wouldn't live that long without him.
My most recent thought is traces of medication getting out through sweat. My boyfriend is on Mirtazepine, Venfalaxine and Melatonin. Is anyone else on medication, or were they when they were in the relationship??
My parents had the same situation. It is actually wide spread
Hey! Iām sorry to hear that you guys broke up.
So, me and my bf are in the same situation. he is from europe and im from asia. we are in a long distance, i noticed by reading all the comments that it happens a lot with the ālong distanceā couples.
So everytime we meet my bf gets these awful eyes allergies and when it progress also some rashes apper. he went to different docs about 5x. all of them laugh at our face when we say its something about me. Im not using any makeup anymore, i wash my clothes with his special detergent, i vacuum and mop his house everyday cause we thought it was the dust or maybe mold(??) that i brought with me. Well, would make no sense anyways since he been living here for years and he was fine before me. i dont wear any perfumes and nail products etc but he said shouldnt be a problem sinces his exes all used. we thought maybe because i dye my hair. i did maybe 2 months ish ago and i dont know i would do, only option (not really tho) would be shaving my head.
we thought maybe the house i live in japan is too old and probably moldy, or houses in japan in general as theyre old. but he visited japan also before me and stayed in a old house and it was ok. this eye allergy happens exclusively when we get together. He is a sensitive person so he already uses all the special products, Im using everything the same.
We dont really know if there were times he was ok with me or he was just being ok because he was on meds. the docs are giving him steroid drops everytime, helps but isnt aggressive?
Anyways, ill try the hair thingy i read above and do the mite treatment and tree oil treatment. wish me luck! ill keep you guys posted. so glad i found this thread.
Hi, does anyone have anything else to follow up with? I have also been dealing with this problem with my boyfriend and Iāve been checking this thread since around April in the hopes of any new posts. So I have decided to finally add my own experience. If thereās anyone else out there going through this and youāve been checking this thread recently (or first time reading), please tell us your experiences too. I find this whole thing very bizarre.
My boyfriend and I are also long-distance (both in Europe) and met for the first time in summer 2018. I was fine the whole first time like others have mentioned. We met for the second time over New Yearās and that is where it started. Immense itchiness with red dots and patches that looked a lot like hives to me. We also tried changing washing detergent and other things. Everything weāve tried ruling out hasnāt made a difference. We met a couple more times, even met up in another country and it still started the first day.
I recently went to the doctors honestly believing itās hives and allergy related, only to leave with a diagnosis of eczema and the dreaded steroid cream and expensive moisturisers. I had atopic eczema as a child so I knew of my condition previously, but it had not flared up for years. Allergic eczema is still a thing as far as I can tell and I still feel like it is allergy related as it only showed up the second time we met. My mum, however, believes that it is related to emotions as she knows that stress and anxiety can play a big part in eczema. I even ended up finding an article on a woman who had experienced eczema whenever she was around her future husband and had the rare case of eczema caused by feelings of love. Thankfully for her it eventually calmed down (when they got married).
This is the closest I have come to an explanation but I still have so many questionsā¦
My boyfriend and I are planning to close the distance within the next couple weeks and Iām slightly worried about what is going to happen to my skin. It feels like the longer weāre together the worse it gets, gradually spreading to other parts of my body all the time. But I am not going to let it stop us, I just hope I find another way to deal with it aside from topical steroids as I know how damaging these are in the long term. Weāre hoping that it will calm down with time if its related to emotions etc, but theres so many possible causes itās near impossible to tell at the moment.