Saturday night and wow I’m at a low point .
I don’t work my husband divorced me don’t have any family and only a few friends in my rinky dink little town that HE moved me to . I realize now what depression is ! I’ve never felt so low.
I’m pretty attractive and could go out on dates if I wanted but my fatigue is so bad eyes closing at 6pm.
Just started HRT and it’s not giving me a restful sleep . If it happens again tonight going to cut the patch in half !
Hope somebody out there is having a great weekend but if you’re not ... I’ll will feel better that I’m not completely alone .
I have a cat who’s like my baby and the tv but apart from that ....it’s like being in prison. At least you have people to talk to in a prison .
Hi Lori, are you able to move back to where your family lives?
I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. My husband travels, my kids live very far away, and I live far away from all my family. There are times I feel very alone too.
Maybe you could online date, and go out to lunch instead of at night? Are you on FB? I always find people to chat with on FB, old friends from elementary school even!
There are times I really have to push myself (and it's often these days) to get out and do stuff, but when I do it helps take my mind off all my illness. I went to a Yankees game today, and felt great while I was there. Came home and feel rotten again. Oh! Maybe it's my house! haha (I just read on FB about a woman who was very ill for 10 years and it turns out her gas hot water heater had been installed improperly and was leaking causing her to be sick!) So of course, first thing I do is call to have someone inspect my water heater and stove! Oh the health paranoia..it never ends.
Is your patch just estrogen? If so, you need progesterone to sleep!!
XOXO
Hi hun, u are not alone. Am single going through this phase all alone I have few friends but they are all busy and hardly see anyone, I do feel very lonely, if u want we can exchange inf and chat or talk and I can tell what am going through. Hung in there this shall pass. Hugs
Yes, menopause sucks. My energy is gone, also. My marriage has struggled and I’ve often imagined how my life would change after giving my soul to my family for the last 24 years. My life was my girls and now one is senior in college moving on with her life. Yes, my youngest is still here but I’m not the same person and our life has changed so much in the last five years due to a mirad of unfortunate circumstances and it has left me reeling. Health is everything and you don’t miss it til it’s gone. Socialization is very key as I’m better when I’m involved and out, also, until I get home. It’s good to hear others say the same as all our circumstances are different but we all feel the same. Like life is over and it has stopped. Dissolving what once was is hard no matter if it’s through divorce, death or major life changes. Praying for you that karma will turn your way. 🦋
Hi Suzanne
That’s great you went to a game ! I just can’t do things like that right now as I don’t do well with crowds I’m an empath and there’s just too many energies . Plus I’ve not got the energy .
My family at in the UK and Southern California I’m 6 hours away. It’s so hard to move and I have to wait until my hormones are stable before I do anything .
Yes I’m I the HRT patch estrogen and progesterone please God it lifts my spirits.
And yes! Every twinge and weird pain we get freaked out . Get a carbon monoxide monitor that will see your mind. I got carbon monoxide poisoning from a mini heater once .... had a great sleep ha! But yes it makes you feel unwell and dizzy.
Lori, I understand feeling so low. It can be so isolating. It's hard to believe that hormones can do this! I will be happy to talk anytime if you want to exchange info. Let me know. Hugs to you
Hi Lori! I am 6 most post surgery in menopause and I have similar days like that. I have a HRT patch but I am a constant roller coaster. I am glad to hear it is not me. I've kept this mostly to myself since my family lives far away & I think my friends & husband just think I am crazy! Reassuring to know I am not! Hope your night improves... ❤️
Hi khadija
That sounds lovely .... i normally don’t mind being alone ..... I think it’s just when you know you ‘cannot ‘ go out as you’ll probably fall asleep at the table and if I’m not asleep by 10pm I’m screwed the next day. Always been able to stay up at least until 12 ha! Not now !
Plus when you feel ‘weird’ you’re kind of there talking but not fully present . Hope this passes soon ! Yes message me and let’s exchange info x
Hi Edell
I know ! I feel so uneducated ! I had NO CLUE because nobody talks about it! I am pretty wise and when people talk I listen .... so I would have believed what they told me . I’ve told all my friends but I don’t think they realize how debilitating it is and only for this forum ....and all the lovely ladies ...
. I’d go crazeeeee ❤️
Yes I just got divorced in November and it was almost better being in years of limbo ... waiting for the divorce . These things like your children keep you mentally busy then there’s a VOID. What now ? What’s the rest of our lives going to be like ? This change should happen later in life say 80! It’s different now we’re a lot younger ... I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been and we need these bloody years! We need to feel 100% !
I’m praying meditating when I can . It’s like I’m doing a sentence . Should be dating now I’m single but I don’t have the energy or inclination.
Just be thankful you have other bodies in the house .... going through this alone .. it’s tough! 💋
Your not alone.
If i remember correctly you are into this aprox 5-6 months no cycle?
Im remembering back last summer when i dropped down the 'rabbit hole' so to speak
and you are about in the middle of it if we were to compare a timeline. Im post menopausal x 16 months.
Your at a very hard time, or at least it was this way for me. I was blindsided by it..
i thought the chronic pain i have was causing the depression etc until i finally put 2 n 2 together..
mind you ..NO clue, NO support..just went ga ga as the days progressed.
So you are EMPOWERED now by knowledge, which i didnt have at the time..until i hhapped across this amazing forum.
So now you will for sure be able to get through this. Dont fight it or try to make sense of it. Just do all of the things you can to make things easier, and go easy on yourself.
IT will go away in time ever so slowly, this is what i believe. You will improve over time.
I can say that ive gotten a grip now...but it took months. I aslo hate to say that im far from normal, but ive learned to accept it and not fight it.
hope this helps..your strong you will get through it. Mind you... I NEVER had mood problems pior to this other than monthly pms..this is all new to me.
0x0x0x0
keep reaching out Lori. Yes isolation is dreadful..we are here to listen, complain all you want, thats what we are here for.
I also feel a lot of undercurrents of anger, in some of us here too..i am not an angry person, (in my twenties i was pretty feisty) but now just sad..but i have to say that things are really starting to peeve me lately..like i want to just let the world have it....
F&^& this and F*^$ that.. i get it.
x0x00x
Hi Lori! Sorry for feeling so bad!
Depression during meno is due to hormonal fluctuations. Things will be better with time.
I feel too lonely too, cause my friends don’t understand and say that I’m obsessed with my early menopause. When I tell them that I will take hrt forever they look at me with despair!
Try not to think so much about and don’t stay at home all the time. 💐
Mauiblue, we have a similar situation. I will be 2 years post menopausal in September. About 7 or 8 months after my last period, the bottom absolutely dropped out of my life. Until then, I'd been cruising through with hot flashes and not a whole lot more. I can remember, perfectly, last April, thinking, man, this hasn't been so bad and my hot flashes are even becoming less frequent and much less strong. Then, a month later, everything hit the fan. Hot flashes WAY worse than anything I'd had up until then, plus the insomnia (which is killing me!), the anxiety (which I've gotten pretty much under control by fixing my blood sugar) the gallbladder issues, the stiff neck and shoulders which make it almost impossible to sleep, the list goes on. I am 13 months past the bottom dropping out and while I have my symptoms somewhat managed, it's exhausting dealing with them. None of htem have gone away, but I can at least get through the day most days. Do you find your symptoms improving? How long after menopause would you say that happened? I read an article that said 1-2 years after the last period your symptoms should start to fade/weaken. I'm getting close to 2 years and I could sure use some relief.
I should say, sorry Lori, for hijacking your thread. I didn't mean to.
Hi Mauiblue
Great words of wisdom and support . Yes after 5 months and 3 days of the HRT just got my time of the month which i think is due to the patch .
Yes it’s like to don’t have control of your mind you’re never at ease just sit here ‘waiting’ for things to turn around like waiting to board a delayed flight . I’ve never felt lost or that depressed before and I’ve been through some very hard times .
I remember 10 years ago the same thing happening thought it was due to PTSD after a bad accident but now I’m seeing probably peri hormone changes. That period lasted months years so I’m at least doing something about it now . We don’t have years to waste!
Well if the HRT works I’m staying on it ! Only been a few days for me and you are right unless you’re going through this nightmare you’d never understand the complexity of symptoms . You go to a very dark place and it’s fine people saying oh ‘get out ‘ ‘do things’ but where do you go ? I’m single so walking around alone makes me more depressed as you see families and ‘normal people ‘ living their lives .... it’d be nice if all hormonal women wore a sign or t shirt so we know we’re not alone ! Plus you’re always so bloody fatigued ! No energy to do anything .
i"m sure it is dear. I feel for you. Trying really hard to rejuvenate my marriage. It seems to be working. He had double knee replacement at 47 yrs old and that was not good for the marriage after the setbacks we experienced the last five years but we are still together and trying. Like you, I'm attractive and trim and could land another man but don't have the desire most days and want to keep our family intact if at all possible. Why did I give my soul for this is what I feel most days. He has ADHD and is not motivated so I guess I've joined him . I guess I gave up and joined him with all the physical stuff challenging me. I have been wondering if ADHD meds or nootropics might help get my mojo back. Yes, I thought I had more time, too, Even 60 is better than this change at 50. It really does suck. I thought my mom just wanted attention and was acting spoiled as my dad was making tons of money for once in their life and she still wasn't happy. Now, I see why she wasn't faking it and it really does suck. Your health is everything! Prayers that you find a solution and share if you do!
Yes I loved being married but husband went weird around 42 we’re still friends and get on well together but it’s hard being alone going through this . I find myself just walking around the house ... washing a bloody fork anything to keep mind active . Can’t relax but oh so tired .
I’d say keep at your marriage the other option is dating which is so exhausting and not as great as it sounds.
Because they look normal it doesn’t mean that they are or feel normal! 😂
A good friend saw me last week (he doesn’t know about my meno) and he said that I look so calm and peaceful!!! 😂😂😂