My mother is suffering from. Kidney failure, needless to say dialysis is not an option given her other healissues.
Over the past week she seems to have gone downhill, her appetite has gone and she has become very weak.
It's awful to see her like this 
My mother has always been very active and now she just has no energy.
She is very tired and sleeps a lot.
I'm interested in communicating with others who have witnessed this. I've read a lot on the internet but it's not quite the same as having first-hand knowledge.
Many thanks 
First things first I'm not a health professional. my partner is in stage 5 failure and has been for 18 months and is on peritoneal dialysis.
Without it simply she would die.
I can't see why you would say dialysis is not an option!
Tiredness is normal even with dialysis as most patients have high blood pressure and hence are on a cocktail of items to try and stabilise that. They also tend to take a cocktail of other things they must take to try and balance the bodies elements.
Without dialysis your mothers health and life will most likely be (no easy way to put it) short.
There is life beyond dialysis and I urge you to help yourself and your mother to reconsider.
However obviously just from a short message no one can see the real situation and maybe there is no option?
I think at times like this family needs to be close.
All the best
Russ R
After several meetings with the consultants, dialysis was not recommended, my mother is very frail and what little energy she has would be taken from her. She herself knows she wouldn't be able to cope with dialysis. As the consultants have said it would do more harm than good.
Contact the National Kidney Federation - there is the best advice there - helpline (free from UK landlines) 0845 601 02 09. My father started dialysis at 86 with a multitude of health problems, not least heart bypass surgery at age 57. He was very poorly when he started, but had another 4 years of good quality life - bless him, he died 2 months ago, having reached 90. Please do question the decision not to offer dialysis.
Well done Kate I couldn't remember the main charity.
We have one local to leicester too and are very good when it comes to support. I wouldn't think twice when it comes to helping out.
The support dialysis patients get is fantastic.
That includes advice, at home services, holidaying etc...
Thank for supporting me to encourage Tricia to seek dialysis for her mum, it's what she deserves after all. Trouble is too many clinics and Gp's right of patients particularly the elderly!
Tricia go seek a second opinion your mothers entitled to that. Go back to her GP and tell him you would like a second opinion however before doing that talk to the the National Kidney trust first and seek their advice and support.
No matter how frail they will help and with they're help, support and possible treatment you could see an amazing turn around but time is short so pick up your telephone and call.
Let us all know what happens?
I'd love to see another success.
Russ
I would agree on the bicarb it will make things worse. There is advise that tells you not to self medicate. Not to get anyone exited! but bicarb effects your BP, potassium and other blood levels at end stage renal failure. I am at end stage but I can have the relevant care. To be told you can do nothing but watch must be awful, I have been in your position (not with renal failure) and to watch someone you love disappear in front of your eyes is awful and my heart goes out to you. It may be worth for your own piece of mind asking for a second opinion about dyalysis. What does your mum want? has she said she doesn't want dyalasis, what are her thoughts?
Hello Helen
My mother also agreed with the consultants regarding dialysis and to be honest both my mother and myself feel she wouldn't cope with it. Her Dr also agrees with this decision.
We have had 3 opinions from others in the medical profession and due to my mother's health issues, being so frail etc, the best that can be done is being closely monitored, regular blood tests and reviews of medication.
She is not in pain, just very tired all the time and sleeping much more now. Unfortunately, she is not eating very much and this of course adds to her weakness. If she felt hungry it would help, but unfortunately, she doesn't.
Hi Tricia,
Then I think you have done everything possible and at the end of the day your mum is still here and has a right to say what she wants so you are doing what is right for your family. Its not an easy decision and your both very brave. I'm hoping to avoid dyalasis as I was asked to have a look into it just incase and having done so both ways looks awful how do you choose, its not like do you want chocolate cake or carrot cake so I understand your mums choice totally. I have read that its is a nice way to go (I don't mean that flipantly) as people don't feel pain so I hope this helps. please let us know how you go much love x
Hello Helen
I read also that passing over due to kidney failure is a very peaceful way to go.
Dialysis is not for everyone, some are good candidates others not so good.
Yes, we are happy with my mother's decision.
At this present moment she is in hospital, I took her up this afternoon.
It was necessary due to how unwell she has been these past 2 weeks. Her calcium level went from very low to pretty high. Also she has no appetite, this of course has made her very weak.
She will be put on a drip and hopefully she will regain some of her strength.
Due to ongoing fluid retention, since Saturday evening my mother now has fluid basically running down her legs. I was shocked to see this! She saw her cardiac consultant last Thursday for an annual check up (she has heart failure also) he prescribed a new medication, Bendroflumethiazide @ 5mg and said make sure you are near the bathroom when you take these.
Up until now, my mother is hardly passing anything and when she does it's very little. He asked I monitor her weight. Her usual weight is around 8 1/2 stone. Over the past couple months she has gone up to 10st. Needless to say her weight is not dropping.
A district nurse bandaged her legs Saturday night and changed the dressings again yesterday. Of course with such a fluid loss, she is unable to wear trousers.
I'm hoping something can be done about this, something that will remove all this fluid, not just her legs but stomach and abdomen area.
I'm not sure that giving your mother a diuretic (tab to help her pass urine - Bendroflumethiazide) will work in end stage renal failure, since it is the kidneys that produce the urine. Contact your nephrologist for support and advice - they will have a specialist nurse on hand to offer expert help. Best wishes, Kate
Thanks Kate, my mother was admitted this afternoon. This time she will be on the cardiac ward. As one of the drs said trying to strike a balance will be tricky, what with the heart failure and kidney failure running along side.
What may work for one, may not work for the other.
Hang in there, Tricia. Kidney failure and heart failure together equal major fluid retention - the heart is not pumping efficiently, and the kidneys are not able to get rid of the fluid. Thinking of you. xx
Thanks Kate, worrying times to say the least xx
My beautiful mother passed away on December 7th. She had spent nearly 3 weeks in hospital due to fluid retention. She was receiving Palliative care . I was desperate to get her home. She came home on December 2nd, a hospital bed was delivered, I stopped working to care for her.
I had a lot of support from the medical services, they were all amazing.
I awoke at around 3:50 am on the 7th, I checked on my mother (I slept on the sofa by her bed) She seemed a little cool around her shoulders, I felt her chest and hands, they were warm. I thought she was just sleeping peacefully. It wasn't until I turned on the small lamp that I then knew she had passed.
My mother went the best way possible, she never suffered with pain, she was in her own home and peacefully passed over.
Oh, I miss her greatly, but feel blessed I was able to care for her. Xx ^j^ xX
Hi Tricia,
I was so sorry to hear your sad news, you mum will be glad she had you to look after her so well at the end. You will miss her as you did so much together. In time it will get easier but it never gets better I still miss and think about my dad everyday and have done for the last five years it gets bareable shall we say. Lots of love and big hugs xxxx
Hi tricia83055
I had been following your thread as I am in a very similar position now where you were a few months ago. I am sorry to hear that your mother passed away, I also know how difficult it is caring for someone who is suffering in this way. I was pleased to see that your mum passed at home and pain free. That is my greatest concern for my mum, she has been in hospital four separate times now since April, twice with pneumonia, and twice with acute kidney problems. At the moment her kidney function has gone up to GFR 11 (albeit at one time they were at 5)... she is back home now and just sleeping so much, she has fluid on the ankles which are now huge (I spoke yesterday to mum's renal lead nurse (unbeknown to my mum of course 
and she said that means her heart is an issue now too) - this is a horrid time, it's like a waiting game that you don't wish to know the end of
Sorry to have hijacked your thread, it was just helpful to see that someone was in the position I am now.
Hi Tina
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. If it's any comfort, it has been said that passing with kidney failure, is painless.
My mother began sleeping a lot, but when she was awake, she was aware of everything and never complained of any pain.
I was happy to have her home during her last few days and she was also. I really couldn't have asked for anything more.
Thinking of you xxx