i have been in my relationship for over 7 years now, it was never perfect from the beginning, there were various dramas which i had convinced myself i could deal with, because eventually they would get better....right?
oh how wrong i was. his mother hates me, i can kind of deal with that, his brother moves in and out of OUR house like a yoyo depending on how his relationship is going, and when he is here he shows no respect. but the main issue is his sister, she is mentally ill, she has various issues, some of them genuine but i think a lot of them are either exaggerated or just completely made up. she has been sectioned many times now and every time she does something outrageous it all seems pre-planned and she will tell someone she is going to do it beforehand. i know this makes me sound like a bad person but i am completely fed up of people running after her, it has gotten in the way of my relationship more times than i can count now, i want a drama free life with kids and no worries (at least none out of the ordinary) but i accept now that this is never going to happen.
for a few months now i have felt completely hopeless and low, even suicidal at times, i have been to the drs and i have confided in my partner, family and friends, but i still cant shake this hopeless feeling. i sit in the bath every night and cry because i now feel like i have been faced with a choice of either staying and supporting my partner, or leaving and breaking both of our hearts and letting him find someone stronger who can deal with all of this. i understand he needs me as well to help him through this situation, but its also the same thing that is making me ill. ive lost over a stone and there wasnt much of me to start with.
i constantly ache, all i want to do is sleep, i still have to work full time and try to complete my degree. its too much, i feel like i have so much on my shoulders and that i just cannot cope. i have no sympathy or pity for his sister because i blame her for my relationship problems, how am i supposed to raise a family around all of this drama? how can i be in the same room as his sister and be ok with it??
what do i do??????
Hey dump that s****y life! This is your life u should appreciate it don’t beat yourself out because of them! Leave them with their problems.😂
i wish it was that simple, but unfortunately i'm scared of all the hurt that comes along with it, not just for me but for him too. my feelings for him haven't changed. i just need to work out what would make both of us happy in the long run.
Hi Lisa. I am so sad for you. But I don't think that you can stay sane in an "insane" environment! You can't pull your partner up but he and his family has and will continue to pull you down!! Have you had any therapy? I have and it has saved my sanity. Now I worked hard on myself but it was easier than being stuck in unhealthy thoughts and behaviors. It was worth all the work that I put into it! It seems from your writing that you are now starting to go down fast. What do you think about seeing a counselor? Diane
Hi I think you have to start laying down some boundaries with him about his family. It sounds like you live with his family? If so then leave asap. If it is a case of them living with you then you have to make some decisions. Remind your partner that it is him and not his family that you are in love with. I am not saying make him choose between you but at least you can stay away from them as much as you can.
You are a couple and need your own space. You don't need all his family drama as well especially as it is dragging you down so much. Of course you want to start a family one day and live a normal life. x
Sorry to hear what you're going through but the good news is most of it is within your control. You don't need to let this continue. You can't change others behavior but you can stop putting up with it. People will only treat you how you allow them to. Talk to you partner & tell him enough is enough you need your own space & he needs to make you a priority. Suffering in silence is only going to be detrimental to you. You need to vocalise your feelings & make the necessary changes. It's not easy because it's his family & that can be a sensitive subject but if you do nothing then nothing will change & he may not even be aware of how sever this situation is for you.
Good luck
I passed a relationship of 5 f*****g years of being together every day nd she left me nd cheatted me with a friend of mine the trauma was unsupportable i was driving crazy nd i cant explain how i felt its more than hell but dnt worry just dnt contact with him nd dnt give a fuvk even its hard in begening just try nd u get over it i swear my pain was so baaad i was loving here so stroong nd never think my self with another . Just chill out u gonna get over it soon
no we don't live with them, but they have gotten in the way of so many things in the past, its seemed that every time we want to do something (go away for a weekend, go to a concert etc), someone gets in the way of it, maybe not intentionally but it doesn't matter how many times i've said how much it upsets me and affects our relationship, it just keeps happening. its not his fault this is happening which is why i have been reluctant to leave, but at the same time i don't have the same closeness with my family as he does with his so maybe that's why im finding it harder to understand and accept. maybe im overreacting?? i don't know. but it's gotten to the point where i feel guilty about being happy because i know something bad will be just around the corner. almost like i dont deserve to be happy and have my little house and family away from everyone and everything else.
It is his fault for not laying down boundaries, after all they are his family. You could try telling them that if they see a certain plant pot in the window that means you don't want to be disturbed. If they try just ignore them or tell them to go away. #
They will get the message if told enough times and they are ignored enough times. x