My mom died this year at 98, and i do not need another old person leaning on me now.
Oh no! I would be packing a suitcase, leaving it next to the door and telling him that he can pick it up on his way out if his attitude doesn't change. Make sure you stick to your guns though, because once you do something once, he'll manipulate you to do it again and again. Good luck!x
Surely you take care of each other? You will need his support whilst allowing yourself time to grieve. He ought to understand that!
I am a male, and an OAP at that.
My wife is considerably younger than me and is now in partial retirement.
I recognise only too well what a huge contribution she has made to the quality of my life, and I always try to return it by willingly doing whatever I can to make her life easier.
In my naiviey I believed that all men were the same in their attitudes as me, but from what you say I was wrong.
Your husband needs to open his eyes and come off his chauvenistic rocking horse now or risk dia consequences.
When men and women get together we do it to support and benefit each other, and not to detract from each other and personally take as much as we can get.
If I were you I would show him what I have written and ask if he has any intention of EVER considering your side of things and to willingly contribute towards the quality of your life.
You are his wife and an equal and not his personal slave or nurse.