Hello there! I don't really have many friends/ friends to rely on and I really want to change that...though I am finding hard to talk to people and be open and smiley. Alo I don't know how to get them interested in being friends. I guess I first have to start loving myself, though I keep comparing myself to others. I know I should probably see them as an example but I feel like I can't reach to where they are. Maybe you guys have some advice for me. Have a wonderful evening. Much love - Zu
Hi zu you need friends or just a close friend someone you call talk to when your having a bad day someone you can open up to if you find it hard why not try and talk to some people on here that will help that's what we're all here for to talk and support one another anytime you need to talk I'm here
Hi zu,
I've struggled with this all my life.
You hit nail on head. If you love you first you will find you can apply the same appreciation to others.
Remember on the surface people seem perfect, you can't see their faults.
Not everyone self deprecates but we all have things we don't like about ourselves
I have issues about myself which I think others can see. Because of this belief whenever I speak in a large group I believe they are waiting for me to fail. And I do trip up and revert to negative thought pattern which is at odds with how confident I could be in social groups. This fear affects my ability to socialise.
This means I have to address how and why I think they want me to fail, cos it surely isn't true. It's a delusion which I have to challenge.
Try to see people's good attributes because throughout their lives they have recognised and reinforced these attributes (e.g. to help someone who might need your help). You should make it a habit each day to tell yourself what makes you a good person, whether it's that you are a good listener, you don't judge others, you are compassionate. Honestly if you can keep reminding yourself every day and do good deeds you will become more confident.
I bet these people who u say you can't reach are reminding themselves either with that little voice in their head or by their actions that they are good people.
U can do this.
Find out what people are interested in talking about before you talk about yourself