My son is now 30yrs old it is only now I am questioning ...

Children's health
1

My son is now 30yrs old it is only now I am questioning if he is autistic--from the age of 3yrs old he has had learning difficulties/behavourial problems-he was diagnosed with epilepsy at approx 9yrs old. Yes he has had support but I have had to keep working at it myself with the education/council depts-he is now in independent living and with support from staff manages well-though only reason we had to attend meetings as the council where not prepared to pay extra monies owed by them to the management of the house my son lives in. You need to keep fighting for your son's independence-it will always be with me did I have anything to do with how my son is-he is a good looking man and does not look as if he has problems-which is quite upsetting-no one ever mentioned autism and I dont know if it was recognised as such 27-30yrs ago

This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience

2

Sounds like AS ( aspergers syndrome) to me, i was diagnosed AS when i was 18 im 20 now and still haveing difficulties. NAS.org.uk or OAASIS could help ( google it.)

3

to the lady who thinks her son of 30 yearsold could have Autism u can read up about the condition and make up your own mind because a mother is a better judge so follow your instincts , my son is 20 and it is not immediatly apparent he has Autism even to the experts in this field, ask yourself is he sensitive to touch, does he get distressed with to much frenetic activity around him is he a lot calmer in a qieter enviroment does he get upset if someone says something he takes the wrong way, because he doesnt understand how main stream people communicate does he have normal eye contact or did he when he was younger, does he suffer anxiety ocd or does he panic easily does he have only one or a few interests or obssesions with one particular thing like my son it is with maps.more u read about Autism the more you will kno w yourself u know him better than anybody else and epilepsy is common in Autism, and dont forget they call it the Autism spectrum because they r all different and dont have every sinlgle trait like sensory sensitivities motor co oredination difficulties behavoual difficultys ther r all different degreas of these things my sons father had the behavoural problems but not the sensory sensetivities or motor control difficulties but he had the same condtion as my son anyway i hope i have been of some help.

4

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when he went to high School & clearly had a problem fitting in. Body language and things that were implied he simply didn't understand and he took things that school mates said very literally, he often thought people were going to beat him up when really it was much more likely their way of saying he was being irritating or even just schoolboy humour, you know how cruel they can be and he was an easy target. Now 4 years on some of these tormentors are his best mates and yes he's a bit awkward socially but they seem to tolerate him and even look out for him. He doesn't have any learning difficulties although he is a bit unco-ordinated and clumsy. I wonder when we stop worrying about our children? He's very defensive about his odd behaviour and is reluctant to open up to me and although I have to respect his privacy it doesn't help tp put my mind at rest.

5

To the lady who mentioned her son was diagnosed with Aspergers but doesnt have a learning difficulty but said he was a bit clumsy and un coordinated it could be that he has dispraxia, even thou my 20 year old son has Autism and learning disabilty it took me13 years to get a diagnoses of dispraxia, this was after years of assessments from medical proffessionals,i have learnt through all these years from experience is to read up as much as you can about these conditions yoursef, it helps alot to understand more, also it took8 years for my son to accept he has Autism, when i learnt more about it i was able to explain more to him that helped him make more sense of the world and why he feels, reacts the way he does and this has helped him have a bit of peace of mind and a better understanding.

6

Finding it very interesting reading others' stories; much of what people are saying tallies with how I am, and have been, for all my life, that I can recall anyway. I just became very good at hiding it, and as it is said, autism is a spectrum. What has finally confirmed it to me, about myself, is that my brother has been diagnosed, also my grandson, and from her symptoms and behaviour patterns, it looked like my aunt, now deceased, suffered from autism spectrum, - or aspergers. Her son, my cousin, does too, so it is in our family. My doctor seems to think I just have social anxiety, which I would accept, as I dislike social situations; I just tolerate them, but inside I don't enjoy them, and do all I can to avoid them if at all possible. I have posted in another discussion, about social anxiety, and am reading about other peoples' conditions and experiences, to try to understand myself and why I feel different from others. I think the social anxiety is only part of the story, as I also have mild OCD, that is appearing over the last few years; I feel compelled to replace a cup I use, in precisely the same spot it was in when I picked it up...aarrgghh! I have difficulty in expressing myself to other people, some days I'm much worse, other days not too bad. I prefer my own company, and dread meeting up with others, even close family!I know this is not normal, and wonder why I am like this. I've been able to work, as I've made sure I take work that allows me to have some solitude, ie. my own desk and job responsibility. I could never work in an environment which involved inter-action with a number of other people. I would be unable to communicate easily with more than one or two people at one time; it would become tiring and distressing to me. This is the same with even my own grown-up children, I become disoriented and mentally tired just chatting and interacting with them after a short time. I have managed to cover up all of this so far, and have never felt able to tell my children; they just think I am shy and awkward. A good enough description although not really accurate! I would love to know how I can convince my doctor to assess me for autism or aspergers syndrome; I am not on any treatment at all, but my doctor will refer me for cognitive behaviour therapy, whatever that is. I feel miserable, as I would like to be able to communicate better, without difficulty and struggle, and having to hide how I really feel. I am happiest when I am alone with my cat for company; she never judges me, nor makes me feel I have to communicate with her - therefore, I do! I chat to her all the time and I am sure she understands. I am 68 years old, and have felt this way all my life. Obviously, I have few friends, although I do like and admire many people I come into contact with; but because I cannot communicate easily with them, I can never get too close, I feel somehow threatened. I have been married twice, and have had a few relationships, with, naturally, men who end up hurting me, as I gravitate towards these type of men. its almost inevitable.

I would really appreciate any advice about how I can go about getting the diagnosis and help I realise I need, and have been avoiding, all my life so far! The way I am going, I will end up a lonely old " cat-woman.." Lol. many thanks for any advice, other than to "pull my socks up"! :-)