My time is running out to have a home and There really is no one to turn too

Mental health
1

The Headline I use is Fact.

The days close in to the time our front door is going to be locked from allowing me to ever have a home again in London if not the UK.

The Eviction Court notice is due any day now and Hope is running out.

I ahvent been sitting around thinking about it or ignoring the problem in fact i have been actively seeking practical help from anywhere and every where I can find.

We thought we may have a new place to go too but this has fallen on its head as there were issues about who property we were actually moving into , I began to feel something wasnt right about handing over the little money I have as there was going to be no real firm commitment about leasing a twin bedroom from the apparent owners.

I began to suspect if i were to agree to handing over a unnafordable £600 security deposit and it was left for a 19 yr old kid to spend as His mother told me she belived I was paying the money into her bank account , then the kid told me no it has to go into his bank account we may as well say goodbye to the security deposit.

The thought had crossed my mind like some others I do know here who have 2 council or housing association properties.

Its all making the ANXIETY return, I have major doubts at every corner I turn, I dont know who to trust or where to turn too anymore.

I have written to my Local MP now 3 times without ever getting a response , as if Goverment care any way.

I had a phone call today from Adult Social Care services at Hammersmith Council who are at this late stage saying i may require a Social Worker while over the past 2 1/2 years I have been screaming for one, if I had gotten when in my 3 times of asking and some support from mental health surley I would not be in the position I am in today which is a Crisis.

I would of had some support and guidence and a voice to protect me from the corrupt and edevious Housing Assocaition Landlord who have been with this plan to have me thrown out of my home while I am struggling standing up and remaining physically capable of having any type of health.

My HIv has deteriated to very low levels of litearlly not having an immune system that can fight infection.

No body can convince me i am not heading with my friend , student and no income Carer to a temporary  life on the street , its a guess how long it will be before I come down with an infection that I have no hope to fight.

This is ENGLAND today.

This is the Polaticians that make decisions on our behalf and this is the depressing Legal System that accepts untruth and lies to convince them that what they are being told is the truth when it is lies and offers no form of defence to the victims of this nation and I am one of those victims.

The Court ballif will deliver the documentation some time this week and thats the begining of the end of me .

I am staying with my decision after the case had been heard  by the court back on 12 May that if the worse scenario happens I will opt to pull right out of my life alltogether in a dignified way and not the way the state would like to be rifd of me.

I have far more value than what they have planned for me.

I have dignity and they will never take that away from me.

Planning ones " own time to go " isnt nor ever has been a first option at any stage but its a situation of being able to have some control over the injustace of wicked neighbors and a Landlord who have been entirely neglectful and shown wicked and devious hatred of me due to the fact i would not stop for anything until they could resolve at least one issue of my 400 complaints.

I have poited out to them more than I can think of to express my opinions where they let tenants down and then they stamped me as being a Vexatios tenant, the they had been told I was infact Schizophrenic by the hateful and very vindictive  female neighbor above us and the Landlord went on to tell the Police.

 While I am clearly not I have seen a HIV Psyhcatrist just on Monday this week who is defining my mental health in writing < which states I am with depression and have suffered bouts of this most of my life and I have been with anxiety which has worsened over the Housing Issues of the past 3 1/2 - 4 years since we arrived at this hell.

I dont trust those with authority that I used too.

I cannot trust nor rely on central or Local Goverment to protect me , I cannot rely or trust and Charity out there or organization to fix things to make me safe either.

And I have absolutely no faith or tust in the Police to do thier job and not step over the law, that they are answerable too like the rest of us.

The hard truth is what hurts the most and that is that we are limited on time till all this happens.

There is only this room along with my family members and the few freinds left that havent run a mile as most people do when we are down and out.

This is my sanity in here listen and taking time for others and also recieving the free gifts of Hope, and Love.

There is nothing more to be done just allow what is going to happen take its place and eave our lives shattered and without meaning.

Thank you England.

PJ

2

Getting help from social services should help, I was made homeless in my twenties, the council put me into a hotel and as far as I was aware that is what they still do I was also in a hostel and got housed from there. That is still the procedure in Wales where I live,even more so if you are a vulnerable adult which you clearly are. Hope this gets sorted for you soon keep us updated. Good luck

3

What's ur CD4 count ?

4

Thats not entirely true I am afraid today.

I am told my Council are under no obligation to rehouse a person that has made themselves diliberately homelss which is another lie to even contemplate in my health needs that I have done this to myself, i have not intended anything of the sort, I asked for help and I ws turned down by social services, and now this has happened they actually possibly now want to get involved .

Its too late for me.

They should of been my voice 2 years ago, they denied me access to metnal health services becuase of govt funding provision .

Money is what speaks when the govt talks about things its not individual lives that will ever matter to a politician.

I am so anggy and dismayed by this Country and hold them responsible for the failures of not caring when I needed extra support.

I am far from alone in this I am just another statsitic and will save the UK a heap of cash if i was gone for good.

Its all wrong.

Hugs to you for your kind thoughts to respond and take out time for me.

PJ

5

It has gone from a steady 500 + , last month 174 this month 152.

Viral Load is almost 200,000.

Its really makes no difference to anything.

I have several other life threatening complications.

It will take between 5-10 days to kill me off on the streets.

Thanks for your response.

PJ

 

6

ooops my T4 Count is 127

not what i wrote above as being 157

7

Hello Ozzie,  I am so very sorry it as come to this. I really don't know what to say and i have no answers for you. We have communicated in the past and I have advised and suggested ways for you to get help. You have exhausted all the advice myself and others have suggested and it as come to nothing. I am appalled at the treatment you have suffered and being a vunerable and ill person i cannot comprehend what you must be feeling right now. I am sure no words can help or comfort you right now. It is a practical solution you need and urgently. You have given much good advice to others here and are a unique person, you have a heart for others too. I don't know either why God does not always answers our prayers. I sense your panic and pain. There are people here who care. Authorities have not shown you any compassion or offered the practical and emotional help you need. In all this you are innocent, the lies and harrassement you have suffered is injustice. I am ashamed that this can happen in our society in England today!!! Thinking and praying for you. xxx

Elizabeth. 

8

HERE is a letter which I am sending out to the media (many papers and tv stations )

In my desperate pursuit I will open right up and tell the Uk what has happened to me.

I will never give up my fight for human justice.

I share this with you all.

Living with Aids defined Illness and Mental Health Issues and being Ordered by the Court to leave my home for the streets where I will die (its a question of how long will it take living on the streets of London )

This is an accumulation of multiple failures and something that I can only hope the BBc may take an active interest in my story.

as this is reality of living in Britian today and a story of how by cutting costs by this Tory Government people like myself are left isolated and without being able to access support for their basic needs.

My issue starts with me for making mistakes about how I handled living in my home where I have been openly hated for 2 simple reasons.

My issues are directed at my Housing Association for the neglect in acting responsible and offering support in those 2 1/2 long years of battling them to show they actually want to support my needs instead with my housing file on board I can see how secretly they were discriminating against me and accepting false allegations made 2 certain neighbors who were the reason I wanted to move away from the hatred they openly displayed and got away with.

They in turn lies repeatedly to my Social Landlord who breached their own working practices by building up a case about me I was totally unaware of what was actually happening behind my back , leaving me vulnerable to the next round of abuse.

Not one of my multiple of complaints regarding the harassment was listened to nor was it ever logged by their ASB team , in turn what they were doing was actively seeking a case from these false allegations , and not informing me so I could defend what was being said against me instead using this information then at every stage passing this information onto the Local Police who were also working with the 2 parties to actively deal with me in this way.

I sort help from very corner I am able to provide the 20-25 different organisations I turned too , .

My issues are directed at my Local Government, even though since the Court hearing on May 14 I have been asking to meet with him, my emails and requests have all fallen on deaf ears.

he has written to my landlord in the past and made multiple requests through out the past 2 years for the landlord to consider re housing me as has my local GP and my HIV Consultant at the Royal Free Hospital.

This also failed to move my landlord who then discriminated against me by calling me a Vexatious Tenant because in my sheer desperation and distress living with increasing and serious acute Anxiety issues they never responded to anyone apart from the MP .

I used the Police on more than 20 occasions when i felt under threat and distress and was only doing what I believed to be the correct thing to do.

The Police continually did nothing but walk away and telling me this was not a Police matter this was a matter for the landlord, but they were working on their plan to not just have me evicted but also arrested .

I was arrested under false allegations made by one of the neighbors for theft and for harassment. I am to appear in court on July 10 at Hammersmith court to face the charge of harassment and I believe the case will now go in my favor knowing that this was an entirely unlawful arrest by the Police and I have an ongoing complaint to the IPPC and the Police Complaints Unit for this arrest , I took ill at the time when I was shocked and terrified when they claimed I was under arrest and collapsed backwards onto the floor , I was assaulted by the Police while having an extreme anxiety fit and was held in custody for 5 hrs without ever being seen by any Doctor.

This has taken all my faith away from ever trusting the Police to ask them for help.

They have branded me with being Vexatious , they have branded me a nuisance to the local community, they have told me they know I do not have anxiety and the fit I  was having at the time of the arrest was not anxiety.

They were given all this false and intimidating information that amounts to deformation of Character especially while they are told and now believe I am Schitzaphrenic which I am not.

My medical notes will prove that.

they then in turn made up a complete false witness statement but failed to identify the actual Police Officer who was suppose to of witnessed me on a local bus when in fact I know as does my live in carer what the truth on that day actually was back in March of this year.

Could we have an opportunity to defend myself m in the court against this witness statement , no we had not been given this chance in defense in anything especially this.

The Court took all this to be true and truthful, when It was lies and should be investigated in its entirety and be found to be completely false from start to finnish.

I was told with the Police on board at the court hearing this would be seen by the Court to be real evidence and led me to believe we were there without any hope .

My anger and dismay is targeted towards the mental health department and its lack of support for people who they know to have diagnosed and recognized sever anxiety and issues relating to depression.

I approached them through my GP asking to be given a Key Worker 2 years back or a Social Worker and was denied this support on both occasions again in May this year I had a assessment and to my utter dismay again denied.

Had my needs been properly assessed and dealt with in a humane way they surely would of allowed me access to some support, but no again I was left to cope and communicate at every level while under so much distress , one of the main side affects of Anxiety when it is so acute in a individual is that it becomes very hard to communicate in a way that can be helpful and hear I found myself in a total isolated environment in approaching the Landlord, the Police and the other Authorities including the Local MP office.

I was diagnosed with HIV 28 years ago yesterday.

My issues are complex at the best.

There is so much advice to be given by all the different Organisations we are told to turn too but even this has led me to this real crisis today.

The Council cannot help me and are under no obligation to re house me because of the damnation that my Landlord spoke about me without grounding, that was baseless and entirely untrue.

I had no voice 2 years ago and I remain with no voice today.

What I have to deal with in my health situation that i sit with today that has amounted to me losing hope in everything even in having a life that is valued and in protecting my self from those that have let me down, that have set out intentionally to harm me the best way they can , has led me to standing firm with never allowing these people to take away my dignity in how I should actually die .

I question how many days it will take living on the streets in London to cause me to secumbe to an Aids defined Illness that my body has no Immune system to fight living ont the street homeless.

I can take you straight to one particular homeless man that will tell you his story.

he is arrested weekly if not more than once a week.

So will it be death or arrest first.

Do I want to live like this .

No I do not

Do i want to die like this no i do not.

No one has any answers that will lead me to have a home where I can rest and start to concentrate on building my immune system back to a level where my body can actually cope.

I will take my own life myself and am not afraid to openly talk about this and my reasoning behind why.

Right now I am living and will remain living while I have a roof over my head.

But once the bell has rung and there is simply no alternative for myself and my live in dearest and most faithful freind and part time carer who is doing what the Govt told him to do get educated and get a degree (he finishes in around 6 weeks time and will qualify as a Motor bike mechanic ) until then and such time he actually finds work he too has no form of income and hates the idea of being on benifits , he is in £15,000 debt for his 3 years of college study.

He survives on £1 -£2 a day for essential food and he walks to college and home again.

That is without taking any extra on his student loan for transport or food he is very aware of the debt he is already in.

I feel greatly stigmatized living a life on DLA and ESA benefit as this Govt has set this wide spread revolt against the disabled and vulnerable people who require benefits.

I have never stopped to fight the system, I have never stopped to try to help myself.

And here I am now at the last resort riting to a news paper to share my story.

I am open and honest and want my story told to mainstream UK.

I have no choice but to now decide which is the best alternative to call it a day with my life, shall it be through the system of this thoughtless process of seeking help which doesn't come.

or shall I seek a far more empowering choice to terminate my life in dignity and with self respect at the time when there is no where to turn and no one to listen.

Its a personal story that I am sadly placing myself to more abuse from the outside world but I have battled through to now and I am good to do the same again.

I will not die a victim in all this I will be another statistic as my story is not unusual today and is something I believe the british Public deserve to know and be informed what really is going on in their communities.

I offer myself up to you to share my story

I will hand over the documentation that clearly shows the failures of how people can be left alone without support and then made to suffer and lose everything , whne infact there should of been provision made to support and aid me, not let me down in this way.

I do love life fully

But i cannot live this way.

9

Go for it Ozzie, Ring your local radio station, get the media to witness the eviction anything to get the publicity to shame the uncaring authorities. I hope someone as a spare room, a caravan anything to give you shelter at least in the short term. I have dissabilities so i know the hurdles and disscrimination we face. I will pray for a resolution  xxx

10

yes I am planning and hoping this will be what happens Elizabeth

I have also emailed my local Labour leader which I hadnt though of in the past.

We have a Tory MP still here in Fulham and hes so arragoant and ignorant of peoples real needs and now even he is unwilling to help or care.

I can only do my very best and live with Hope by my side

I dont want that day to come where all hope is gone.

Life is too preciaous to me.

But i need to feel valued , which I am not .

Hugs

PJ