Today was the hardest day my doctor called to confirm my test came back for herpes type 1 from swab they took from my vagina. i am married and just told my husband but I'm sure he doesn't know how to take it. I feel like somehow this is a death sentence that I'm never going to be the same. I just wanted to die I don't know how to deal or even handle this. I saw my doctor and told her from the start I wanted to take suppressive pills daily . It just seems so unreal I just need help accepting and coping with it. I don't think I can tell anyone else besides this group and my husband.
I completely understand how you are feeling. I tested pos 5 months ago for ghsv1. I felt exactly like you did and to be honest I still have days where I get upset about it but that's the natural course of grieving. Lots of different stages and a ton of ups and downs but I absolutely do not think it is a death sentence anymore. So many people carry this virus orally alone that they don't even test for it anymore in normal std screenings. It's just that common, 80% of population to 60% depending on what source you're referencing.
The viral shedding rates for ghsv1 are also much lower than someone that gets cold sores, our 0-5% compared to their 18% and it's almost double that for hsv2. You are absolutely no different than someone who gets cold sores and those individuals probably never had a depressed thought about it a day in their lives. It's up to you but there's really no need for suppressive therapy. Hsv1's preferred local is orally and because of that you, like most people with it down south will only have the rare outbreak if ever again.
As for your husbands reaction/acceptance of this, I think it's normal to be stunned at first but remember this, if you guys have been together a good amount of time there is a very strong possibility that he is the one who transferred it to you via oral sex. Most people don't know they have it because they are sympathetic. He should get tested. If this is a primary outbreak for you and he tests positive now with IgG blood test then that means he is mostly like the source of this. It takes a few months for the antibodies to build up in your system and show up on a blood test. Otherwise you may have gotten it from an ex bf. Regardless this is not the end of your world. You, and I and everyone else that has had the misfortune of getting this WILL get through it and be ok. I hope this help sweetie. 🙂
You most likely got it from your husband via receiving oral sex from him, and as Ashlin states, gHSV1 isn't nearly so bad as other forms/locations of herpes, so it's not the end of the world and you don't even need daily suppressive therapy. That is for frequently recurring cases or gHSV2 (which tends to be much more frequently recurring as well as infectious).
I am in similar situation caught genital type 1 from my wife's cold sore after oral sex. And this after 36 years together! To be honest there are a lot of positives in this. I now can't catch cold sores on my mouth, and my wife won't catch genital type 1, recurrences are a lot less likely than type 2. In the process I have tested negative for all the other (worse) STI's and we have even had a few laughs about it, our eldest daughter is very prudish, so can you imagine what she would say about dad going to a STI clinic!! She will never find out! And that is an experience all on its own, sitting in the STI clinic waiting room with a load of teenagers and twenty somethings who are wondering what a 57 year old is doing here. It can't be anything to do with sex!
We have a monogamous marriage (I can say deffo 100% from me, and I'm 99.9% sure about my wife), so this isn't a true STI, I've just caught a cold sore off my wife on my genitals.
Your husband just needs a bit of time to learn about herpes transmission and he will get used to it, so will you. Welcome to the 60% of the human race carrying type 1 herpes, we are a growing club.