NEED SOME INFO PLEASE

Hi

You guys might remember me I had both my knees done the end of Jan. I went back to work on Mother's Day. My problem is my boss is trying to knee shame me. He told me the other day his friend had both his knees done he said his friend had no pain after six weeks. I asked if he had both done same time he said no three years apart. He is trying to make me work full time when he said I could start back part time , he can't keep help. I would not mind trying to help but he gets mad if I need to rest. He acts like I'm faking. He thinks I should be healed by now . I wait tables and think I am doing very good but he makes me sad. ; ( What do you guys think?

It's bullying and harassment. No two people are the same so he is showing ignorance which could be seen as disability discrimination. If you have hr or are in a union then I would seek advice and don't let him bully you. He is acting very unprofessional

As I'm in England laws I'm sure are different however you didn't choose to be in this position maybe your doctor would do you a letter or do you have as we do occupational therapists I'm in recovery for tkr now but when I had my back done 8/9 years ago I had to go to see an OT before I was allowed to go back to work and they strongly advised what I could and couldn't do

good luck don't be bullied

Tana,  go to your surgeon or GP and have a heart to heart about how your body feels.  Tell them what is going on at work and that u need a very specific work release note that specifies how long you can be on your feet, and then how long u should rest. U know have them specify your break needs.  I was wondering about you last week.  I am on my feet for 4 or so hours at a time...with one replacement and need to rest after that.  PLease do this for yourself.....if u do not heal properly then this whole surgery thing is a bust.  You have come way to far to let a boss bully cause u issues.  

I understand more than u think. My hubby thinks I should be just fine by now...had my surgery Feb 11.  He was great for first 3 months.  Just remember he is lucky u are back to work.  Stay strong they do not understand...cause they have not experienced this surgery.

good luck,

Pam

Several questions:

Is this a chain or privately owned business?

How old is the manager. (sounds like a brash 30 something)

Is he willing to let you go face to face with the miracle man so you can ask him about this amazing healing he went through and what kind of work be did.

With these questions answered....the federal wage and hour board and give you some help and advice. If it's a chain, call or write the HR dept with your story. I can guarantee you they can smell a potential lawsuit a mile away.

Ask this jerk and yes he is just that, a complete a**h**e, if he would like to sit down with you and watch the you tube presentation of a complete tkr being done. ( you can close your eyes if you wish) Otherwise get off of it and you don't believe word one of his preposterous story of his imaginary quick healing friend.

Keep everything very business like as 22nd professional. No yrlling, no screaming and no years. Just one professional in the business to another.

Karma is a b***ch. Many years ago I had to have a gall bladder surgery. Mine was a strange situation where the fall bladder was diseased and so tests showing stones Or the organism shut down were all negative. Finally had it done and had some complications which set me back an extra couple of weeks. My boss was a former college/pro football player and hadn't known sickness so he was pushing me to get back on the road, start traveling etc. Dr's. said no. So after 8 Or so weeks I got back slowly and a couple months later back up to speed.........fast forward 2 years and he had a simple, straightforward gall bladder.....I got calls daily, sometimes twice a day asking questions. I was always polite and thorough but you can bet I got my pound of flesh over the next 6 weeks.

You may not be around when it happens but your boss will learn the hard way

OFG

You are very wise now he's jerking me around about hours what a douche bag excuse my French gave my hours to a new girl until she quits and she will , most do you can probably tell why. So a few extra day off to look for a new job. That was a good story about his imaginary friend.

Thanks Pam some times I want to scream my boss is a jerk and a bully but i am looking for something else you stay strong and talk to you soon.

No way! I feel your pain....my sister worked with someone who had a TKR the same day as mine ( she was back to work in 3 weeks) and my bosses 88 year old grandma had hers done the same day and"was doing so much better. Well, what we found out after my 3 months of intense pain was that mine was infected. After removal of the artificial knee, 3 months of IV Antibiotics and a new knee placed it was 9 months before I could resume full time work. Everone has different circumstances.

Screw the b*st*rd!!!  Do what's right for you.  If you need help, I'll send Louie The Wrench and Pulie No Neck over from the old neighborhood in Brooklyn to have a talk with your boss.  Tire irons in the parking lot.  Problem solved.

Tana, I think your boss is a bully and he needs to take some sensitivity classes. Wow! First of you, we all manage differently. I'm guessing his friend (maybe he is real or maybe he's imaginary) had his knees heal differently, just like the rest of us. I had both my knees done at the same time and the left one was a way quicker heal than the other - I still have problems with the right knee and it's 20 months later. The fact that he says he had no pain after only 6 weeks makes me want to call him out on it. And if it is true, it's a rare case. Don't let him manipulate you. You know what your body is telling you. I'm guessing you have some swelling when you finish up your shift, don't you? That indicates you are most likely at your limit and don't need to add hours to it. I understand wanting to help out, but he's just plain mean and I don't think you should allow him to guilt you into something you don't want or aren't ready for. If he wants more help, he should start treating people better and keep the help that he's hired happy. Some people just fire me up. Let one of us go in and talk to him for you.

Moan

Oh your are so right can I come work for you, my left knee is my problem knee was before my surgery too. My boss is a bully. Thanks if it gets worse I let you handle him.

Chico

Oh man I LOVE you I will work on getting the adress for you . Just kidding but thanks i appreciate the thought. It's good to get the feed back i thought i was a slack . I think i am doing great, have a problem knee my left but this to shall pass. Thaks.

My boss told me his brother-in-law was golfing 6 weeks after his bilateral TKR so why was I having trouble with mine at 12 weeks? Turns out his brother-in-law was golfing 6 MONTHS after his bilateral not  6 weeks. Your boss probably has his head up his a** too.

Buster

He really does. His friend had both knee done, but three years apart. That's a lot different than both at the same time. It boils down to he's a jerk with no empathy for anyone. I am happy for all the support from all of you now I know I am not slacking and am actually doing really well .

Clearly he does not understand that everybody recovers at their own rate. Your responsibility is to give yourself the best possible chance for full recovery even if that means resisting his comments. You don't want to push too hard and set yourself back. Be strong against this kind of thing.

Hi Tana, this is so not on...rediculous, my  boss was the same but I am still not back at work at 14 weeks due to GP not letting me as I get very stiff and swell so much. he is not happy. She expected me back at 6 weeks and not amused I'm not back. Apparently her mother in law out playing golf, doing this and that at 5 weeks while me at 50 not back to a teaching assistant post standing for 8 1/2 hours a day. My gp said I could go in this week for 2 days 4 hours each day..which I am but she so not happy and asked what is the point in that and wait till fully recovered. Please take care, see your gp or a union and keep me posted.  sue xx

Sue

I don't know what's wrong with some people. I know that before I had surgery I worked every shift he was open . So I went to talk to him I want to start back part time, he said he was nervous to have me on the floor right away. So I went in on Mother's Day thinking I was going to answer the phone and seat people, but noooo he sat me a full section all day long 6 hours just as hard as I could go. Since then no break he just pushes cause he can't keep help guess why. I go back to my surgeon Thurs. I will see what he says.

Just a control freak, Tana. Is this a multi store chain or a one owner owned operation. Sounds like he's trying to run you off as you may be some sort of percieved threat to his upper management.

I would arm myself with wage and hour regs and set down with him privately and in a mature manner and explain harassment lawsuits potential. Explain you have documented his actions and are prepared to get ownersip involved. You have your future to think about and cannot risk major setbacks. Maybe a call beforehand to a state agency that is involved in wage and hour relations......every state has one. I'd ask him straight out if he's trying to get you to quit and if so you aren't about to. Tell him to forget about this imaginary friend unless he is willing to introduce him to you. With my attutute I'd probably tell him everybody is different as a matter of fact I know a manager who is kind and thoughtful, always trying to do all he can to facilitate his employees welfare so he can see there is a real difference in people. Of course, I'd probably be fired........but that's just me. You mentioned you were in N. Carolina.....hope you are staying dry.

OFG

Yeah it's pretty dry here but that's ok less bugs . My boss is the owner very small restuarant, staff is 6 people so we have no where to hide. I have a doctor's appt. Thurs. So i will see what he thinks.I think i need a new boss.

Tana, I remember you posting re going in on mother's day and was concerned then. Go see consultant and see what he says. Can you change hours to part time.

Some bosses are scared of some staff who work better than they do themselves and push them really hard. Look after yourself xx