Here I am again. it's one of those nights and I just need to get my feelings out there. I just keep overthinking and digging myself deeper into a hole of despair. I just can't seem to get over the thought that it's all just downhill from here, like childhood was the best time I'll very have in my life and everything now is just killing time till I die. it all seems so pointless. I feel like I'm filled with all this knowledge that everyone else seems to be able to just shrug off, that it's all so pointless because we're going to die anyway. I just can't understand how people can go about their daily lives and not be crippled by this inevitable truth. I don't want to grow older. it's just depressing to even think about. and yet everyday I'm just getting closer and closer to death and everything I've done or haven't done with my life will just be rendered meaningless.
Hey danny, I know how youre feeling man; I've been there. I know what it feels like to be wraped up so deeply in those horrible thoughts and feelings. I find that for me, it is helpful to be as attentive as possible to my own thoughts and feelings , and be able to accept them. In my expereince, this effort, usually yeilds some of that perspective you desire right now (or 7 hours ago...)
Sometimes I just have to say to myself "okay, I know these thoughts and feelings are here, but f**k them, i'm not going to indulge them." Its a great relief to be able to trust that things will be okay be in the midst of the darkness.
I don't know anything about you, and I'm not trying to assume anything here, but:
If your close friends and family don't know that you feel this way sometimes, I suggest you let them know, because those relationships will be instrumental in fighting your depression. If you don't see a therapist, I suggest you start seeing one.
Other than that just know that there are so many who know how you feel, and be proud that you are seeking help. Hang in there becasue it's all worth it in the end.
Your internet pal,
Jeremy
Hi Danny. Depression is awful isn't it. I'm going through a terrible bout at the moment. You think you might never come out of it but you do and that's what we've got to focus on. Are you on any medication or seeing your doctor? It does help to come on this forum for help and to write how you feel.
Hi Kat I received your message and I don't know what happened but it disappeared!
How are you? Are you getting any better? I had a terrible weekend and today. The meds just don't seem to be having any effect.
It is really interesting to read what you have written, because in one way I entirely agree with it. I have had bad depression in the past, and I could have written your post exactly. I'm a lot better now, and what has changed is not that those thoughts have changed, but that they don't bother me so much now. I'm a pessimist by nature, but I do recognise that the way you are feeling now (the way I felt when I was very low) will get better eventually. It may need help from antidepessants and counselling, but you will get out of the hole you are in. Don't give up, and please let the people who care about you know how you are feeling. Good luck, and be kind to yourself.
Hi Pat, sorry to hear you've had a bad weekend. I'm not that great. We have a new friend on your venlafaxine thread. Xx
Hey Danny, I feel exactly like you do. The only answer to the sad truths of existence is comradeship: you aren't alone. There are some with whom you can bond on this odd trip.