I have tried to stop so many times. Its very hard at home right now with my family, they are all so angry with me. I am terrified that i will lose them. My partner has had enough. My drinking is all we ever seem to talk about, which in a way has made me want to drink more. My daughter and son are also so sad and angry at me. I want so much to be the better person that i hopefully can be, but it really isnt easy. I am going to use this online formum a lot from here on in. I have to give this the best try of my life if that makes sense. Nothing good comes from drinking anymore, i dont even enjoy it. Its a love / hate thing. I wish anyone in the same position as me all the best. Take it a day at a time, i think its the only way.
Hi Sharon. You sound so like my Husband hon. Stop blaming yourself and tell your family to stop blaming you. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. You have AUD Alcohol Use Disorder. Your brain has been altered by alcohol. There is help out there, lots if ppl on this forum (and I am sure they will talk to you soon!) are trying TSM The Sinclair Method and are having good results
Look up 'One Little Pill' by Claudia Christian you can get it on youtube or Amazon. This could be the answer you have been looking for
You do not say if you have been to see your GP yet
Keep talking to us. This is a great site there are lots of ppl on here with loads of info and experience
Kind Regards
JulieAnne
Thank you so much for replying. That helps a lot. Its very hard right now but it has to change. Yes i have seen the doctor and i am going to an addictions unit in a few days to see a counciller. I dont want to be like this anymore but think i have realised that i do need some help, dont think i can do this on my own anymore. I have failed too many times. Smart step hold online meetings most days so i trying my first one tonight. Thanks so much again.
Its hard to stop drinking and even harder with the added pressure of everyone on your case about your drinking.
It makes total sense that even with all the dissappointment in your family that you want to drink more. In my case and I think many other alcoholics..when there is much pressure, anxiety, dissappointment in us we want to mask our feelings even more..and that makes us drink more.
I was at this stage you are at when my kids were younger..everyone in the house was mad at me for drinking and I couldn't stop and I didn't stop at that time. I basically said to myself they are going to have to accept me for what I am doing because this is "who I am".
I forced down their throats that I was a drinker and I wasn't ready to stop. Then I drank and if they wanted me to go on a road trip or anything (like to the beach)..I remember one day they all wanted to go the beach and I said that is fine and I will go but I am bringing my beer or I'm not going. They accepted that I was drinking...and THEN one day I wanted to stop and I DID.
Like someone already said..this is a disorder/condition and you are at a point where it seems to have taken over your life. I would explain to them that it is a condition that is hard to beat and that because of all of their concerns you are really thinking about ways that you can curb or stop your drinking altogether but that it is not going to happen overnight.
Then you can make appointments with your Drs to show them that you are trying. And hopefully because YOU are not happy with your condition you will eventually come to a point where the decision is yours to try and stop.
In the meantime of course..they are going to be dissappointed..and it s*cks when we are letting those around us down. But, utlimately this is something a decision that has to come from inside you....I understand what you are going thru.
Thanks for your message. Unlike you however I am a secret drinker. I hidden it in so many places. But got found out most of the time. I am so ashamed. This battle seems to have went on forever. I am glad your in a better place now. Thats what i hope will happen for me. Its make or break time I think.
Hello Sharon.So pleased to hear you are rrady to do something about your drinking . Take JulieAnne's advice and look at the video One Little pill.Also take a look at the C3 Europe website which explains the Sinclair Method clearly and there is support there too.I am almost 3 months in on this method, my drinking has reduced dramatically over this time and binges and drinking myself into oblivion is already a thing of the past. Like you I was desperate to find a solution.
Thinking of you hunny, it's not a good place to be right now for you but there is help out there lthough you might have to fight for it a bit.I am still buying my Nalmefene until I can get it prescribed on the NHS..that's where the battle is at the moment .Keep coming back here x
Hiding it is so difficult..I have done that as well...but for me usually after about 6 drinks..everyone knows I am drinking...my voice changes...etc..Its just so much work to hide it....
Not surprised you are a secret drinker, you are being forced into a corner hon. So try not to be ashamed. One day, having AUD will be socially acceptable. At the moment the populace is only aware of AA. As a way to stop. Not everyone can stop in this way.
I urge you again to listen to Nat666 post as TSM reduces your drinking safely, without the dangers of withdrawal symptoms. Have you actually diaried how many units you are consuming in a day? xx
Kind Regards
JulieAnne
Ps also look up Paul Turners video on youtube. Paul is a practising clinician, he explains how TSM works too xx
Hi again Sharon. Don't be surprised if Smart Step ( is this an ARC?) Haven't heard of TSM they have yet to catch up. Lots of us have been to ARC's it would seem that all they know is the AA way
Good luck with online meeting. Let us know how you get on
Regards
JulieAnne
People know don't they , my family knew with me as I was always drunk after a couple of drinks due to that secret stash.I got caught a couple of times too when i was upstairs for a sneaky swig.... I have even hiddenfrom myself when I have been alone.A very cunning condition isn't it
All your messages (everyone who replied) have helped so much today. That stupid voice in my head was starting to come up again, surprise surprise. My partner and i have barely spoken all day and the atmosphre is terrible.. Was on you tube earlier and i am going to look at some videos which maybe will help too. I dont if aud will ever become acceptable maybe its a good thing that it isnt if you know what i mean. Its weird though i had eating disorders and had those for the same reasons that i now use to drink but the stigma of being an alcoholic is so very different. Either way though you feel ashamed.
Yes been caught many times. Horrible feeling when your caught but also for the person who has caught you.
Hi Sharon. Please don't be so hard on yourself, by posting on here you are making a positive change. Nobody can make you give up, you have got to want it yourself, and that does take time. If someone had told me 4 months ago that I would be able to go a single evening without alcohol I'd of said no way & Id of gone into panic mode at the thought.
Thank you and well done for 4 months by the way. You should be proud of yourself.
I also use Smart recovery, and it is fabulous, at first I wasn't so sure, but honestly I'm so glad I stuck with it, the tools I've learned to use on there has played a vital role in my thinking, and I wouldn't be sober today without it. They are supportive of whatever method you use, although they won't offer advice on anything medical I have found, purely because they aren't medically qualified to do so, and they just can't. I've been seeing an alcohol counsellor for over a year, and doing smart for 8 months, and it's finally all managing to slot into place for me, and I thought I was just wasn't capable of stopping, but just keep on chipping away, and watch videos, read books etc, getting as much info as you can on the subject, YouTube is great. I got prescribed campral a few weeks ago, and it is working wonders for me, but we're all different. Stay strong and be patient, and don't be hard on yourself, use anylapses as learning curves, and keep moving upwards. Take care xx
\Thank you for your advice. I have managed to give up for quite a while in the past but somehow dont seem to be able to stick to it. I am not sure if i am now physically addicted or is it more emotional if you know what i mean. I do so so want to give up for good. I gave up (mostly) for quite a while last year, i went to the gym often. That really did help and i felt so much better about myself. Then i hurt by back and got ill for a few weeks and stopped going. Thats when things got bad, ive drank for 3-4 days in a row and then somehow managed to stop for another while but always end up going back to it. Its that stupid voice we all get at times. I need to learn somehow to beat that. Partner and i have fallen out so much over this and about the money end aswell. Why do i still do it when all it brings is pain for everyone. I love , love may family so much. But right now its all falling apart in so many ways. It may have fallen apart for good. This is stressing me out so much right now that the very reason its happening is the thing that i do want to more than ever. Even though i know deep inside its so wrong. I am going to give smart recovery a better shot. Tried it before but maybe not for long enough.
i was like you my family hated me and I had so many hiding places that I forgot them....vodka, cider etc.. all of it..did eventually stop and this forum is GREAT for friends who will not mis judge you!! we have been like you and I certainly have and now 4 years of sober...you are going in the right direction Sharo! Regards Robin
This smart recovery sounds better than an Alcohol Recovery Centre. Am going to look it up myself. Still learning stuff everyday x
Thanks so much, very hard just right now. How did you find your way out?
As far as i know there is an online meeting tonight at 8.30, maybe check it out for yourself. This will be my first one online. Did go to AA but for some reason it didnt seem like the right thing for me. Alhtough we all know it does work for a lot of people