Hi everyone, I have suffered bad with anxiety over the last year due to finding out I have a heart condition (not life threatening) since finding out in September and being told I wouldn't die from it I have got some closure and managed to get through the bad days and make them good. I almost lost my partner because he's truly had enough so I thought I would prove to him I can be strong by getting a job at Asda, it's only 3 days a week 12-5pm but since starting 2 weeks ago my anxiety has got so bad, I'm constantly tense and struggling to sleep. I don't know what to do, I'm scared if I quit I will lose him. Any advice would be great, may I add the job is very boring I just walk around the store putting clothes in size order!!
Hi aim I have been in your position before where work has caused me horrid anxiety albeit for different reasons... It's never nice and sometimes the panick can come from feeling almost trapped.
Retail can be good for anxiety as you can come into contact with customer and sometimes build up a nice relationship with ones who become familiar. That gentle connection can sometimes make you feel a little less on your own as you interact.
I would recommend that if there is someone you work with who you feel you like and can talk to and if you're having a bad day it sometimes makes it easier when you feel you can be a little honest about this. It doesn't feel quite so much like you're keeping everything inside.
Try and take it slow, bit by bit as you settle in now and remember that was is unfamiliar today will be familiar tomorrow.
Hi XxaimxX,
Firstly, it is hard for people to understand Anxiety let alone the effects it has on that person, for One, my wife wasn't very supportive but she was quick to give her diagnosis that I was over reacting. But Anxiety is a horrible and soul destroying condition. I know Anxiety can wear down those who are nearest and dearest to you, but you shouldn't put yourself in a position of discomfort to prove a point. Believe me you want to be in control with Anxiety, not let it control you, I'm on medication Sertraline 50mg and have been for Twelve weeks, and now I feel more myself and happier. But please seek some help on your Anxiety for you, not just to as I said, to prove a point. Keep me posted how you get 😊
Thanks for replying!! I'm currently waiting to set off to work. My partner will not talk to me as I've been lying to him about how I feel. He said he can't trust me anymore, how I'm going to get through today I don't know!! I can't cope anymore xx
Hi aim I'm so sorry to hear that I don't understand why he is not talking to you??? When you say you lied about your feelings, do you mean that you did not tell him your new job makes you anxious?
You said in your original post that you nearly lost your partner: does he find it hard in dealing with your anxiety???
Aim, it's your health and well being thats important, though my Wife wasn't very supportive never did she once threaten our Marriage. What is this trust issue you speak of? I wouldn't concern yourself to much over your partner, it seems he isn't. I'm and we're always here Aim. Don't weigh yourself down xx
Do you have kids with this partner? Are you married to him? He sounds like he really doesnt want to be a part of the relationship. Some cant handle illness or chronic illness or anything that disturbs "their" happiness. There are people like that. Sad but true not everyone is compassionate or kind. But usually those kind of people are also blamers, manipulators and hypocrites. They dont want the role of care giver ever, at all.
You have nothing at all to "proove" to him as he is prooving he is not a kind sweet guy. Anxiety can make a person very co dependent, people pleasing and vulnerable so be aware of that.
You do need to get all this managed and work. Thats for you. You have to be able to stand on your own two feet. There are low anxiety producuing jobs. Ones that dont have many people around and ones you can make your own hours are useful. Keep searching.
Im am not trying to in any way to be anything but kind..he is no loss. Hed help you find a job better suited for you if he really even cared at all. He would never make you feel like poo for his needs and desires. I am tempted to say that it is interesting your heart was the organ effected aside from the anxiety. Your heart maybe is hurt, your heart isnt enjoying the way the things are but i think you are so scared you'll change everything about you if possible to hold onto your partner. Too bad he doesnt feel that way too.
Theres always two sides a coin but right now you are the one who is really struggling. And all this can and does get managed over time. There are many ways to manage living with an ailment or magaing anxiety so this can not be about making him happy. This can not become one of the scenarios where you sit and tell yourself its your fault, you do this or this because poor guy he he didnt sign up for this..then hate yourself even more. Thats whats happening.
Jeez your dealing with a lot of right now its okay to be vulnerable and need support. Not wallow in it, but work thru it. There is therapy, meds if needed and a ton of self help. You do not need someone dragging you down right now. Shame on him. And this is the age of the interent so dont bother saying poor guy he doesnt understand what you are really going through. Sure he does, it scares him and he doesnt want to be a part of it. The little moral compass he has left is what held him there. That was the most honest, blunt reality i could give you, but its so painful to watch someone you know needs care and guidance and then they note their partner is useless. 11% of men actually walk out on their partners with diagnosed ailments or cancers. Is that sick..they do. Woman do it too but half that percentage. Some people are just born a certain way and onky have an x amount of love to give to another person. They wants tons but only have a small amount to give. Thats them. And no he cant relate but he sure can be comoassionate. Not everyone is. Thats a fact.
He can grab you by the hand and take you to therapy. Go with you. Sit in on sessions and air his thoughts and feelings. Get you into bdt or cbt and yes be active in your healing. Not enable anything, be a pillar of stregnth. Doesnt even require a ton of his precious time either. Its called compassion. Then you would slowly recover and you would. Love is potent! The therapy and cbt or dbt session would guide you and hed learn them too. So yes theres an alternative behavior here that could make this all way better. So know that. Know this isnt all in you. Jeez you have a disorder here. There are healthy options available.
Okay i wont keep going on your post. Your svt diagnosis isnt really the issue. Maybe a wake up call for you to make changes.
dbt not bdt*