Hi everyone This is the first time I write in this forum, and I am writing here because I desperately need some guidance. Some background: I’m 30 years old and I have had anxiety every since I can remember. It was diagnosed at the age of 18, when I broke down due to certain incidents in my life. I met a woman when I was 21, and I fell in love with her almost straight away. She is hands down the most kind, generous, supportive, loyal woman I have ever met. She is my best friend and I have the greatest time with her. We have been together for almost 9 years now, and she has honestly supported me through the worst of my times. A lot has happened in my personal life in those 9 years, to the extent that I was diagnosed with PTSD, which is something that haunts me every single day and events I keep reliving. This woman is unlike anyone else I have ever met. She has the patience of an angel and she has taken care of me in ways I wouldn’t imagine anyone would do. She has been there for me whatever has gone on, and I call her my rock. Without her I honestly think I wouldn’t have survived the last few years. I think majority of people would have ran away to live the easier life with someone else rather than dealing with my issues. She’s so patient and she understands my anxiety is a way that no one does! I can go on and on about her to be honest but i would be here for days. She has for a long time now expressed that she would like to get married. I am also now at the age where I feel that I would want to get married... My issue is, I don’t feel any love for her. I feel nothing. I don’t feel anything in life in general. But when I’m with her, I’m safe and I know I will be OK. However nothing happens in my heart. I feel like it’s completely dead. Even when we are intimate, I don’t feel like I want to be but I am anyway. My head is saying ‘yes she is the one’ but my heart cannot accept it. I don’t feel anything for anyone. But I can’t seem to let her go either. I am completely lost or what to do. Should I look for someone else and I will finally FEEL something again? I miss the excitement that was once between her and I. I wanted to know if my anxiety/ptsd has a part to play in this and If anyone else has ever felt similar. Or have I just fallen out of love with her? But the thought of her not being in my life crushes me. I’m so confused. At the same time I don’t know anyone else with anxiety or PTSD that I can ask. Please if anyone can give me any insight I would really appreciate it so much. Thank you all so much
I am 33 years old, I’ve been with my wife since we were 19. She is also my rock and has been there for me through everything. Ive always had anxiety- to the point of physical reactions (twitching, left body numbness, aches, palpitations, etc).
I spent several years wondering if there was something wrong with me because I never truly felt happy. I was doing contract work around the country. I bought a truck and a big 5th wheel trailer and we traveled full time. I remember standing in Yosemite national park and I stared out at what they call ‘heaven on earth’ and I couldn’t be in awe, or happy, or anything. We continued traveling, seeing amazing places around the country but I still couldn’t find happiness. I was just ‘there’.
It can be a number of things.
- A chemical imbalance or
- Medication
Do not give away a girl who has been there for you. If that doesnt make you happy, theres absolutely nothing out there that will. It isnt her.
Mine was a chemical imbalance and I finally sought help. It’s nice to feel happiness again for both my life and my wife and our children. It doesnt mean everything is peachy and happy all the time, but I now have that capacity.
Message me and I’ll give you my number if you ever need to talk/txt about it.