Hi everyone,
i've never wrote on one of these things before but I'm having a really tough time dealing with my situation so I was wondering if I could have some advice. I'm a 34-year-old woman who has genital HSV one. I contracted it when I was 14 through oral sex. I've only had one outbreak since then when I was 20. I'm not really even sure if it was really one but I took the meds anyways. Throughout all the years I've had many long-term relationships where my partners.it was not a big deal so I've never really had to deal with the stigma until now. throughout all the years I've had many long-term relationships where my partners.it was not a big deal so I've never really had to deal with the stigma or consequences until now.
Fast forward to now. I recently started a relationship with someone that I really like and I think he really likes me . I disclosed my status to him before we had sex and told him I understand if it's a dealbreaker. He said it was not and he has done a lot of research on the topic. We had sex but I noticed that he was not going down on me and generally he looked nervous. He told me later that it was hard for him to even have sex with me in the first place. he was nervous about the HSV-1 . I felt so gross . I really wish you told me when I disclosed to him that he was not comfortable. We talked about it later and he agreed that he would talk to his doctor about it and get a blood test because as we all know he might even have it himself and not know it.
I told him I'm willing to go on daily antivirals depending on the results. I figured if he's positive we might not have to worry about anything. Overall I just felt like we had a plan so that we can both feel more comfortable . We talked the other day about him getting a blood test again and then he told me that there might not be any point because they are so false sometimes. I'm so devastated that he won't even try to get one . He said that to him the relationship does not hinge on this . But it does to me . I don't want him to ever become infected but I also want to feel comfortable having sex with him and vice Versa.
My question is when any of you start a new relationship what steps do you guys take to make each other comfortable . We do use condoms and he said he's comfortable with that but I feel like getting tested and knowing for sure will make me more comfortable as well .
Am I wrong in wanting him to get tested ? Please help me I don't know what to do