Newly diagnosed - advice needed please :-)

Sexual health
1

Hello everyone,

This has been the strangest and possibly most distressing week. I'm 30 years old with 2 children. Recently started seeing someone new - for about 5/6 weeks now and having sex maybe 4 times a week. Not had sex since I started feeling unwell so coming up to 2 weeks ago now.

Last week I start feeling just generally unwell, sick, achy and just completely worn out. Then around Saturday I started with pain down there and noticed 2 little blisters. Actually took myself off to the hospital for medication - had sort of self diagnosed myself with herpes and doctor there confirmed it though said I would need to go to a sexual health clinic for testing. She also gave me aclivor which I have now finished the course. Obviously devasted as we all feel when we find out we have this.

In absolute agony on Monday but went down to the clinic and she also confirmed it was herpes and said it would be 2 weeks for the results so another week of waiting which is fine really considering I already know it will be positive.

Now this is the thing that out of the whole process has upset me, the dr who did my testing told me not to hug or kiss or tickle/play fight with my children during an outbreak. Seriously is this true? Me and my children are very close and the one thing I pride myself on being a mother is showing my children how much i love them. I can't imagine not being able to 'go near them' as she put it during in outbreak. Out of this whole thing, this is what got me the most.

I don't really want to go into how I'm feeling about actually having hsv, I know we all feel the same and I'm just trying to be strong though do have my weak moments. I've obviously told my partner straight away about it and he is in denial completely and is convinced it's something else as it's the usual case of him not having any symptoms etc. He will be the 5th sexual partner I've had and hadn't had sex for almost a year prior to meeting him. I know he has had a lot more partners than me. Ive never even had a one night stand so I can't help being pretty annoyed to say the least that this has happened but anyway. Is it a blood test he should get to confirm wether he has it or not?

Next thing I wanted to ask is what have you all found the best to keep the outbreaks to a minimal natural health wise if you have tried anything? I got a bit panicky a couple of days ago and bought lysine, propolis and olive leaf extract tablets lol. So far I've only taken the lysine as I have no idea what can be taken together etc. It was just a moment of panic on Amazon lol.

Would appreciate any input really. I need to obviously keep this as life limiting as possible (as we all do I know) for my children as being a single mum is so hard and I've got to do anything I can to keep this from affecting our lives.

I'm feeling much better outbreak wise really now, pain down there started Sunday, was in absolute agony until sort of Wednesday night ish and now although the sores are still present they aren't hurting really. Still quite itchy and tingley but nothing I can't handle. The main issue I've got right now is pain in my legs - I'm like an elderly lady hobbling round and chasing to little ones round is not ideal lol. They are just so achey, feel really cold and starts from top of my thigh right down to the bottom of my feet. Left leg is probs worse than the right. Again is this normal? Read somewhere that it could be Siatica?

Anyway I will leave it at that - never ment to write this much :-) any advice on any of my moans would be much appreciated. Thanks X

2

Sorry this happened to you!

If you only have genital herpes, there's no reason why you can't kiss your kids or anything else. Just wash your hands with soap and water after touching any lesions and don't immediately share a damp towel that's been in contact with an outbreak. Everything else with your kids is fine, regardless of which HSV type you have. That's bad advice on your doctor's part.

Your partner can test by IgG (not IgM) to confirm existing HSV infection. I hope the clinic swabbed you and are testing for type, as that is important to know. Lysine has not been clinically proven, but some people swear by it. Best thing you can do is to keep healthy, eat a balanced diet, and observe what may be a trigger for you, etc.

3

The pain is your sciatic nerve. That's normal for your firsr outbreak. I experienced it as well. I chose to be on supressive therapy. I take valtrex once a day. My firsr outbreak took about 3 weeks to heal. And I was ok for 2 more weeks and got another one. The second one is mild. The first one was awful, I was ill I couldn't pee, or walk.

My papsmear came back positive for herpes, so of course I was curious so I wanted a blood test. I gor that and it didn't come back as hsv1 or hsv2. So the doctor told me to come back in 4 to 6 weeks to restest. Because from my understanding it can lay dormit. It may not show up in a test. I bought lysine too. I take vitamin C 1000 mg, valtrex, 100 mg vitamin c. My daily once a day. I'm just trying to stay healthy. And the kissing part sounds ridiculous. You don't have anything on ur mouth. You should be cautious but show your kids love. This is a nasty disease. But nothing we can do now. Your stronger than this...

4

Just to clarify, IgG blood tests for HSV are negative either because the individual doesn't have HSV or has yet to produce a detectable HSV antibody level at the time of testing. The latter means it's a new infection (contracted within the last couple of months), not an existing infection. Unrelated to latency/dormancy (if a person has had HSV for a few months or longer, they will test positive by IgG, even without symptoms). IgM tests are unreliable for HSV, so cannot be used to determine much of anything. Js

5

Thank you for both your replies. Today is a bad day emotionally as my partner has told me he's not really feeling the relationship anymore. So now I've got this new disease or whatever you want to call it and it's all been for nothing. I just need my mum for a cuddle but she went on holiday for a week yesterday. I don't have any other family really so I've never felt so alone in my life :-(

6

Wow, what a jerk, sorry. He likely gave this to to you, refuses to believe he might have it, and now suddenly and conveniently wants out? Smh. You deserve better, and rest assured you are not alone, especially on this forum.

Focus on your healing and kids. It really helps to have another purpose to get you through the worst of the emotional aspect, and be sure to treat yourself and continue to do the things you enjoy once you're fully recovered.

I've started hitting the nightlife again with my gf after taking a bit of a break due to H and it was good to be back out, let my hair down, have fun, and not stress about it. A spot of therapeutic shopping helped get me out of a funk a while back, too. Sounds silly, but it helped! The virus is as much emotional as it is physical.

7

Thank you, yeah just shows how you think you can know someone :-( I'll be ok, I've just been through so much crap in the last few years I really thought I had turned a corner. I will get through this, I just might have to come on here for a moan as I have no where else to go at the moment lol. Thank you for being there x

8

Lol, well, you've come to the right place. Great for moaning, questions and support! At least you're off to a good start, as you seem to have a positive attitude. That helps loads. I have a post pinned to the top of this forum with a bunch of useful info about HSV, which might help answer a lot of your initial questions. The CDC, ASHA and Westover Heights are good resources.

9

How long after infection did you get your outbreak

10

i have no idea, I felt unwell for about 5/6 days then the soreness down there started