Hi Patrick, it's very real, so don't feel silly, irrational, flawed. Your right in looking for an answer. Firstly, do you sleep alone, or do you have a partner? Is there additional stress in that your mindful that you're disturbing a sleeping companion? Secondly, I can't imagine what this must be like for you as my panic/anxiety related to day to day activities, which I was able to avoid, and subsequently compound the problem, how on earth do you avoid going to bed?!! How awful for you. However, in recovering, I think you may be able to find a quicker resolution than the rest of us have. Avoidance is a huge element of anxiety and panic, therefore because you truly can't avoid going to bed, the good news is you can skip this middle ground of avoidance behaviour. Indeed some live with anxiety and panic for life, because the avoidance behaviour enables them to do so. I was nearly one of those people.
So coming at this in a step by step manner. You know where and when your anxiety is triggered. That's good. Does it ever surprise you in any other situation? Do you work, are you able to catch up on sleep or are you struggling with sleep deprivation also? Can you sleep on the couch, anxiety free for example? You say that just sitting still can bring it on, is that during times when you're running a self check programme, listening to your breathing, watching for palpitations etc? Are you health anxious? Have you tried sleeping tablets before AD's? if so, did sleeping tablets have any impact on night time panic?
What I m sure is utterly frustrating for you is, I'm asleep, how on earth can I be responsible for creating a thought induced panic when I'm asleep? How on earth can I affect my sleeping thoughts?!!! But certainly, yes I do think this can be fixed, and in a way, I think it can be fixed quicker than more classic anxiety disorders as it has to be fixed! We have to sleep, every day of our lives, you truly can't avoid it. So it's finding that fix.
Things to help your body would be cutting out caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. That in itself will take a couple of weeks to get out of your system, but all those are stimulants and the stuff anxiety loves to feed off. Next is what they call sleep hygiene. Regulate sleeping hours, ensure your bedroom is relaxing and tranquil. No iPads/iPhones or telly! You could try relaxing sounds or quiet gentle music, think spas
I'm not saying these two approaches will fix your problem, but they will give you and your body the best chance of then tackling your anxiety triggers. Also day time exercise, being active is great. If you then tick these boxes that you've prepared yourself and your surroundings to heal, you can then dig deeper into what may be causing your anxiety. There will be a trigger, but for now, it appears you're in the situation of fearing the fear, and that in itself is enough to trigger the endless anxiety cycle. It may seem an awful lot to undo, especially when you've suffered for a long time, but I'm absolutely sure you can do this.
Patrick, you say that it's like a volcano and you have to get up. What happens if you stay in bed? What happens if you chain yourself to the chair? Part of retraining is relearning that we're not going to die if we remain where we are.
Anxiety is our friend. It's our body trying to protect us. "Thank you anxiety for trying to look after me, but I don't need you right now, I'm safe, but it's ok if you're concerned dear anxiety " xxxxxx