No Time for Self Pity .. I must overcome my issues for a search to find a New Home.

Mental health
1

Having now gone through the horrible Court trial and now starting to come out of the Numbing Affect of being told due to the false allegations made against me which were based on profound lies I have 5 weeks to work with the most important issue in finding myself and my Carer a new flat , somewhere away from the ubuse and torture of this home of 4 years.

Everything else is on hold, I do not have time to become physically sick , nor can I allow my mental health issues to interfere with the pressure of finding a flat in London to house us.

This is like entering into a jungle , there is a stigma about tenants who take benefits across the whole spectrum of property owners in regard to considering letting out thier property to a disabled person or any one reliant on welfare.

I am only just discovering this now as I search continually for what our options are.

I want to feel negative and give up at this early stage.

But I know I am not like this .

I am activelly going to go to every corner of the universe and approach as many people as I can to make the impossible ,possible for us.

I cannot allow myself to begin to fear that we are still here when the baliffs arrive on the day to demand we leave our home of 4 years.

This is a lonley problem that is going to take everything I have to overcome.

Hope is what I have and no matter how wrong this is what has happened to us , there is no time to look into that either.

I plan to walk into our local Shelter Charity Shop on Wednesday and apply to do some voluntary work one or 2 days a week.

This too will rob me of the time I need for my issue to be worked at but the reasoning behind this is to allow me to have some hours of freedom where I am not thinking about my own needs but am doing something that is constructive and will build me up .

Anxiety is a soul destroyer , it wants to rob me of any joy , and it aims to take away all Hope from me, but this can only happen if I allow it too.

It wont be happening if I have my own way.

This is one time in my life I have to succeed and come out the other side still breathing.

I so look forward to reporting back to all you amazing and Inspiring freinds in here that the battle has been won.

It will take time

I am sorry If I am being selfish right now, but as I have said in the recent past there are seasons in our lives where we are to give, other seasons where we are needing to ask for help and other times where we can do both.

Life has never been this hard but I am looking too come out of this and be able to use what I have learned to enable others to move forward with hope and to have self respect and to keep loving and not allow anger and rage of injustice to take our all those good things that we can be proud about.

peace and Joy to all that are hurting, to those who are ovewhelmed with anxiety and feeling so trapped.

If I can do this then trust me so can you get through what overwhelms you right now

I am living with HIV for 28 years

I have Empysema of the lungs and Live complications.

I am in hospital every 6-8 weeks due to Lymphoedema  and apart from all this have pretty rotten mental health.

But I am blessed and and not a victim .

I am strong and can overcoming all these things that life throws at me.

peace and Love my dear compatriates.

PJ

2

PS if any of you happen to live in London and are in need of a household item of furniture.

have no money to afford the item or can affford to pay something then pvt message me and Ill see what I can do.

I need to sell literally everything .

PJ

3

I have so much respect for you right now nothing seems enough too say 

so I won't just gonna send loads of love xxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

4

Hi there PJ I wish you the best of luck finding a new home. Hopefully the housing issues will soon be behind you and find a home you can enjoy.

I admire the courage you are showing.

Best of luck to you, stay strong!

5

Thanks so much for your kind words.

PJ

 

6

Scruffy

Your awesome mate .

I feel the love and hope you bring from here

PJ

7

Hello Ozzie, had to go on a mercy mission and wanted to get back to you before - just got back. I have such respect for you and know that you will get through this, your drive and inspiration for the future is admirable, you are a true fighter despite all you are going through. Still your selflessness to help others is just wonderful and shows your kindness and caring before your own suffering, sending deep respect and very best wishes. 😉

8

Thanks Lou again for your thoughtful and kind words.

keeping the faith no matter what is what its all about.

PJ

9

Oh Ozzie I have been reading your post of five hours ago, I am so sad that you are having to deal with all this pain and your caring positivity is shining through so strongly - just wanted to say I will be praying for you and asking the big man upstairs for all the help that is out there for you and give you the much deserved help you need right now, keep strong if you can Ozzie, sending big hugs 😄

10

Hello Ozzie,  I admire you so much, you are a selfless person with so much courage.  I don't know what to say to help you feel better.  Even with your own physical and mental health problems you still think of others.  Please don't give up.  I am still praying that something good will come along because if someone deserves it then you and your friend surely do.  Have you thought about going to your local MP or writing to the local paper.  Write your story and about the injustice of it all, how society can leave a vunerable, disabled person in this situation. You never know what may happen.  Have you tried the charity crisis.  Would the council pay for you to go into B & B in 5 weeks time until something permanent comes along.

Sending love Elizabeth.  

11

Thanks awefully Elizabeth ,

Its a new week ahead and of course I will be researching all I can to find a way through this.

I am going to see my Local MP , and have written a email to Londons Lord mayor Borris Johnson.

I have other organisations that I have already made contact with like Shelter London and Stonewall Housing.

I have a mental health  advocate from an organization called PACE UK and have placed adverts on sites like Gumtree and Craigslist seeking accommodation and took the courage to see if anyone could help us financially with short term loan to secure the funds we need to move into a propertry being a 1 bedroom or 2 bedroom.

London is enormously expensive so the costs are high.

I am putting aside all my Disability and not touching it , and will go without nutritious food until I can be assured the crisis is over.

Without putting my best foot forward i am doomed to fail.

Its going to take everything I hgave to achieve and am going to sell up all of the flats furniture and furnishings to make ends meet.

If this odesnt work I dont know what will.

LOL

Hugs I feel the encouragement and love of many others like yourself in here.

Its so appreciated

PJ

 

12

Lou its people like you amongst others in here who are keeping me going emotionally .

I am so grateful mate

Hugs and Love 

PJ

13

Ozzie we are here for you - I am over 100 miles from London so can't physically help you but can be there for you in words if that's any help, in fact so many of us are here for you. I was going to suggest your MP but you have already done that as you need lots of people around you to actually help and fight this diabolical injustice, you have been treated with total disrespect and cruelty - keep fighting Ozzie and all of us are fighting in spirit with you, hugs .

14

Thanks again Lou for your comforting and encouraging words of wisdom mate

PJ

15

Dear Ozzie, hoping for a positive day today for you - all of us wishing you hopeful news with each step forward - good luck today 😉