i had a ok day, then someone messaged me who I feel don't want me know me. They live overseas and I came back from them in January, I'm going over there in July, and when I said, they are having work done on the house and said if it fits they will see me, I understand from that they don't want to know me, as they are the only ones who knew about my problems. They are doing a runner, so when she messaged today, has upset me. She says they miss me, but I don't believe them. They really don't want to know me, and it makes me upset. I've not contacted them, but then feel rude when I didn't. I hate myself, why do I feel for others, it would be easier if I didn't as I wouldn't be here now. I could do the right thing for everyone, including me.
Hi first of all can I ask why you feel this person doesn't want to know you as I want to make sure I'm understanding you correctly . Sometimes in life it's horrible to not have someone feel the same way as you do for them weather it's a friend or intimate relationship or sometimes even family. What I want to say is all these words are just words we need to make.sure we have steady strong willing to be there people in our lives and get rid of time wasters xx
It's a family member, I feel that they can't handle this. They didn't say they didn't want to know me, but I feel it, I thought that they would be there for me.
I think you are being a bit unfair to your friend/family member. It's not fair to disbelieve someone, how are so sure they are being dishonest about having work done on the house. Perhaps its the only chance they have. You say they are the only one who knows about your problems and you don't believe it when they say they miss you. You should give them the benefit of the date. You should contact them say that you hope all goes well with the work on the house and hopefully they will keep in touch and let you know how things go, that you will miss going to see them but hopefully you can arrange something at a later date when the work on the house is finished and see what happens. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Good Luck.
Maybe I should hide, that why I can't upset them, or anyone. I knew I was horrible that's just confirmed it.
Don't think like that no1 is saying your horrible or a horrible person . Just simply that you should try just to see what result you end up with that way you will know if there being honest with you or not. It will also make you stronger .
If this message was via email, then email can be the worst way to get confused , you have no idea of the emotion in an email. At least not as easier as hearing a voice. Even if you hear a voice on the phone you can potential miss key body signs.
The danger here is your adding 2 and 2 and getingt 200. Your mind is going into over drive and you have decided that cause they now how you feel + plus they have some house maintenance equals they dont want to know you.
You see how putting things like that , that its missing other tell tale signs. The things you have added are emotions and not facts. The emotions are how you feel at the time.
And whilst Ia m at it your not horrible you're struggling a little with depression. Mindfulness class are quite good.I try to scan my notes for you and see if you can sort of review why you have these thoughts.
I cant think of one person on this forum who hasnt been paranoid or felt everyone hates them when they are depressed. Your not horrible your just having to re teach yourself to love you
I am horrible, I'm selfish, and a complete failure to everyone. Why would they like someone like that, I wouldn't. So I can't blame Anyone apart from myself.
I will never love me, I am not worth anything.
Have you considered that they have told you about the work that's being done, for your benefit. Once the work is done they can give you their full attention. If it was a relative of mine and I was having work done I might say the same thing, but it would just be because I would want to spend my time with them. Can you ring them and speak to them, it's easier to actually talk to someone. Also have you got any friends here you can talk to? You are not a waste of space by the way. Just vulnerable at the moment, please don't hate yourself. It's my guess you don't like the feelings you're experiencing and want to be free of them, but feeling the way you do does not make you a waste of space. You are precious, no less than the trees and the stars. I think you're very sensitive and have a lot of feelings that you're finding it hard to cope with. I have found writing things down or painting or drawing how I feel helps me to get it out of my system. I also do positive affirmations, if I find myself thinkgin 'I hate myself' I try and stop it and change it to 'I hate feeling like this, but this will pass, I love and approve of myself'.
Positive affirmations feel a bit silly to start with but they can really help turn it round to something happier. Good luck.