Not having a good day 🙁

Mental health
1

I upped my dose of fluoxitine to 40mg 3 days ago, I don't usually suffer with anxiety or panic attacks during the day, it only seems to come out Kate afternoon or night time, but this morning I've had 3 panic attacks already! And they don't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.

This obviously has me in a low mood, motivation has gone out of the window. Just feel exhausted even though I've slept 8+ hours.

Doc has given me Promethazine 25mg which is an antihistamine but has drowsy side effects to help me sleep at night but this doesn't stop my anxiety or panic attacks and I'm having them almost every night now aswel even though I only used to have them every other night before or when I was in a good place I didn't have them at all.

I've had my first session of CBT which set me back quite a bit having to face my phobia of death, had to go to the mental health prevention team at my local A&E because I honestly didn't know what I would do to myself.

I can't escape my fear but on the other hand I can't face it either even though it is inevitable.

I just do not know what else I can do! It's frustrating and terrifying at the same time. I want to come to terms with it but my brain refuses to.

2

Hey Dannie, how are you feeling? I'm not having a good day either today! Kids are away and my mood has dropped considerably. I can't promise but I may be on here during the night if you need to talk. But I've opened wine, so maybe I'll pass out.

Oh, and my daughter just upped her fluoxetine to 40mg and feels awful too!

Mari xx

3

Hi Mari, thank you for messaging vs, I was starting to think I'd been shunned.

I'm just having a horrible time at the moment, had the worst panic attack I've had in a while a few hours ago, now I can't get it off my mind, feel like it's going to happen again and again which means a sleepless night full of anxiety and panic attacks 😢 I just don't know what to do anymore x

4

Hi Dannie, sorry, I ended up not being mentally up to replying last night.

It's the worst feeling to feel all alone. I feel like that a lot. Do you have any family support other than your partner? Anyone you can phone in the night if you need to? I've been given the number of the Samaritans a couple of times but never phoned. Perhaps though it's something you could do when you are feeling panicked? 

Have you been on other meds other than fluoxetine? I'm on my fourth (well technically 5th as I was on fluox years and years ago), and still don't seem to have found the right one for me yet. 

Sorry. I'm not much help. My mood is pretty bad at the moment.

5

Hi Mari, sorry to hear you're not doing too well.

I haven't had a lot of anxiety today but I have it tonight 😕 I'm just sick and tired of feeling anxious all the time.

I do have support from my mum/dad/sisters/brother but it just depends on if they're awake or hear their phones. I've phoned Samaritans before, it's literally just someone to talk to, they don't push their opinions they just listen and respond, it's not a bad service, I've phoned them at 5am once because I didn't have anyone else to talk to, they stayedbon the phone until I was ready to end the conversation, we talked about weather, what happened during the week. You can tell them what your problems are, I just find mine difficult to talk about so I personally need someone to take my mind off of things.

When I went to A&E they gave me the number for a community crisis team, I've not phoned them yet but they're supposed to be able to set you up with a care coordinator to help you manage your mental health at home, think they will even do home visits if you need them.

I tried citalopram first but after a week or so it sent me over he edge, then it was venlafaxine which i was on for over 3 years then because me and my partner were talking about starting a family I had to wean myself off of venlafaxine, as it can cause under development of the respiratory system in babies, to go onto fluoxitine, It's still not 100% safe to have a baby whilst still taking fluoxitine but it's better than venlafaxine.

Venlafaxine really worked for me, it's quite high up in terms of antidepressants. I stopped them in January and thought I'd be ok without any but about a month ago all my anxiety and panic attacks came back so I had no other choice but to go back onto antidepressants. I've also started CBT, first appointment went well but it brought to the forefront all of my fears around my phobia and I'm still recovering 2 weeks after the appointment. I have another next week, really nervous if I'm honest, been off of work for almost a month, I just can't face it in the state I'm in.

If you want to talk about what's bothering you Mari you can always private message if you'd be comfortable, I'm on this site everyday it seems trying to distract myself so I'm sure I'll see it in good time.

Hope this finds you doing better.

D x

6

Hi Dannie, thanks, I might do that some time when I'm up to writing more. I'm presently in a nasty fall out (via text) with my downstair neigbours today over my dog. There are only two flats and it's a shared garden (which I don't use now) so it's really upsetting and awkward.  Anyway, I'm not having a good day. Bit close to the 'edge' today. 

Yeah, I seem to be in a neverending cycle of stopping an anti-depressant for whatever reason, getting worse, then having to go back on another one. I'm sick of them to be honest. I was never one for even popping a paracetamol, and now I have an array of medication I take in the mornings! I'm sure they have messed up my brain. I just feel in a constant downward spiral all the time.

Anyways, hugs to you. Mari xx

7

Hi mari, sorry to hear things at home aren't going as well as they could be, that can't be helping your mental health.

Tbh I was in the same boat as you, didn't like popping pain killers or antibiotics for no reason if I could cope without. It was my partner that finally got me to go to the docs for antidepressants and it looks like I won't be able to come off of them any time soon, top that off with beta blockers and either benzo's or antihistamines (for the drowsy side effects) and I'm popping 6/7 pills per day. I never wanted to end up this way but it seems I can't really cope without them.

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone and I hope to hear from you soon.

Danielle xx

8

hi Dannie, I’ve been searching for a answer to why i feel like i do everyday… no one seems to understand. i feel stuck, in this miserable life while the rest of the world, my family and so called friends go one with life without me. why keep going? i cant find one person that i feel normal with.. i get panic attacks everyday and even my therapist looks at me like im pathetic. whats the point anymore… i just want to find a nice high bridge and enjoy the view on the way down.
<3 thanks for listening

9

hi Dannie, I’ve been searching for a answer to why i feel like i do everyday… no one seems to understand. i feel stuck, in this miserable life while the rest of the world, my family and so called friends go one with life without me. why keep going? i cant find one person that i feel normal with.. i get panic attacks everyday and even my therapist looks at me like im pathetic. whats the point anymore… i just want to find a nice high bridge and enjoy the view on the way down.
<3 thanks for listening