Hello everyone, I’m fairly new to these types of forums. Let me give you a little background information before I begin with my main question. I’m a 23 year old female who has been suffering from panic attacks and really bad anxiety. I started having panic attacks about 5 months ago. The first months probably consisted of at least one panic attack every week, but haven’t had one in about 4 months. However, I live with the constant fear of having another one. My anxiety level is slowly (very slowly) going back down to baseline, but still isn’t near my anxiety level pre-panic attack. As a consequence, I stopped driving, had to quit my new job, cannot be left alone, rarely go out, unless it’s in the company of my ‘safety person’ aka my boyfriend, and I pretty much avoid going anywhere that’s not within the 5 mile radius from my home. I also find it important to mention I've dealt with depression on and off for about 7 years now.
I know I need help, which is why I sought therapy, BUT I feel that my therapist might not be right for me. I’ve read numerous articles, research papers, and books that mention CBT as being really successful in treating anxiety and panic disorder, even though I do not meet the criteria for PD. In addition to that are therapies like interoceptive exposure.
The thing is…she isn’t doing any of that. All she says is that it is in the mind and that the first step is thinking positive. I GET THAT. But HOW do I start thinking positive? I mean, if I knew how I would’ve tried long ago. I need some kind of structure so that I can track my progress. I need a consistent plan. For example, “everytime you have a negative thought, stop yourself and replace it with a positive one” OR “whenever you are feeling anxious, stop where you are and deep breath for five minutes”. She gives me strategies, but never a schedule I can follow. And the most upsetting part is that when I asked about CBT workbooks, SHE SAID THERE WERE NONE. That is not true, but I thought it would be good to mention it. She didn’t even consider CBT at all. I trust her enough to follow her treatment plan, but after 4 months in therapy I feel it is going no where.
I just feel so hopeless because I feel like I have to make my own treatment plan. Hell, I barely have the motivation to get out of bed sometimes.
Absolutely look for a new therapist. When it comes to anxiety and panic, a good therapist that you feel comfortable with is vital. It's said that good CBT can even be better then medication so find one that is right for you. Any questions ask
First of all I am sorry you are going through so much. After what i just read it looks for a pretty good argument to get a new therapist. She hasnt been much of a help has she?You need to find someone who really helps you. You need to find a resolution to your depression and anxiety. Therapist arent cheap and I think you should at least try a different therapist and see if they can help. I wish you all the best.
The first thing that u must have for your therapist is a trust. If u cant trust her, just leave her and find another one.
You can make your own treatments. For example, if u got panic or anxiety wherever u are, just stop walking or doing a thing, but check your surroundings to ensure there's nothing to make u unsafe.
Just make u up when u got it and go sleeping when u feel safe.
Do something to make u busy.
Dont explore so many online resources about anxiety bcuz u will see more types. You then will compare a worse one with yours and think it's yours.
If u are running a treatment but everything still looks same, try to compromize with your anxiety by thinking it's fine having an anxiety and it will be over soon.
I survive with anxiety disorder for more than 10 years. Hope u'll get yours.
I feel like I'm reading something I wrote myself, wow. Everything you're experiencing I experienced. I have very positive news for you- it gets better. My CBT suggested I go on Zoloft to grasp ahold of the "positive thinking" bc I was having a hard time doing it. Best decision. That was 2 years ago. I went to PA, upstate New York (2 hour drives from home) Although I came off the Zoloft about a month ago and it was a downward spiral. Went into withdrawal, now I'm back on and I'm back at square one. I'm having a hard time leaving my house again. But I've done it in the past and I know I can do it in the future.
I feel like I can trust her when it comes to expressing my deepest thoughts and feelings. However, I don't think she has a SOLID treatment plan for me. (Can you really blame her? She has a 300 case-load) For example, my sister who has OCD had a wonderful therapist for some time and she practiced a lot of CBT--tracking thoughts, exposure, etc. etc. I understand every therapist (clinical social worker in my case) has a different approach to treatment so I'll stick with her for a while and see where it goes from there.
So far I've been doing some of the things you mentioned--and I am making small progess. I deep breath before bed sometimes, work on adult coloring books, sudoku, go for a walk, etc. I am doing much better than I was 5 months ago that's for sure. It took a few months to stop convincing myself I had a deadly heart condition haha.
Thank you so much for your reply! I appreciate it.
Fortunately, I'm covered by basic medical insurance until I'm 26, which includes mental health services. However, free mental health doesn't always equate to quality since, as I mentioned in another reply, my clinical social worker (current therapist) has a 300 case-load Because of this I only get to see her every three weeks and she let me know (in a very nice way) that if that was an issue there were numerous other places that could see me more often.
Despite my somewhat disappointing experience with her, I am still extremely grateful for any therapy time because something is definitely better than nothing at all!
If I still see no progress in a couple of months, I am definitely going to look for someone who uses CBT. I would loooove to see someone who specializes in anxiety and PD, but I doubt my insurance would cover that.
Yeah and it just gets frustrating that everytime I break down she says "you have to think more positively". Like dang lady, do you really think I've been depressed for the last 7 years because I CHOOSE not to be positive? Unfortunately, it is a lot harder than that. I try my best, but I've pretty much been thinking this way my whole life. It's like telling a drug addict to just stop using. The brain doesn't work that way.
My family and I are low income so I get free, basic medical coverage, which includes mental health services such as therapy and medication. At least that's how it is here in the states. Can't say about elsewhere.
I don't know how easy it is to switch, but I definitely can. My therapist warned me that since she had a large case load, I would only be able to see her every three weeks--at the very best. She also mentioned that if this was an issue I could always get services elsewhere so that I could get therapy more frequently.
I haven't mentioned anything in particular yet because I know she's the expert you know? I did mentioned that I wanted a bit more structure (i.e. use of worksheets to track thoughts)--and she corrected me by saying "I think you mean you're more of a visual learner". I'm pretty sure I meant exactly what I said, but I realized she was going to interpret things her way so it just wasn't worth arguing.
Wow, I'm so sorry you have to go through this again. It is pure hell in the very begining and I know how damn frustrating it can be to make so much progress only be back to square one, again. You are brave! I've thrown in the towel so many times only to realize that life goes on--whether I sulk or be happy. So I've become more accepting of it.
My doctor and therapist have been pushing medication for a while now, but honestly I'm scared. I don't want to feel how I felt that first week after my first panic attack, which lasted nearly two hours mind you. It has been the worst time in my life so far. My body went completely out of whack for an entire week. Chest was sore, resting heart rate above 100, even feeling "full" would make me panic, constant diziness, palpitations, cold skin one minute and then completely hot the next, derealization, I mean you NAME IT! I do not want to feel that again and I know medication can increase anxiety for the first few weeks.
I also fear the downward spiral after getting off of it. I a teeny tiny bit of hope that I can slowly recover without it, but I loose more and more hope everyday to be honest. I feel like I'm going to live with this for the rest of my life--and that depresses me even more. But I've told my family that if progress isn't good by the end of this year--I'm going on medication. I can't live like this forever.
I bet you must be having a rough time, but like you said--if you did it once, you can do it again. I believe that anyone who has expriences anxiety and panic is a strong person. I cannot tell you how many times I've thought (not considered) about suicide and continue to wake up to a new day every day. With fear, but I still do it.
Thank you for replying. It's great to know that there are others like me who are still here to talk about their victories. Keep fighting!