I haven't posted in a really long time because I've just been trying to get on with things & not think too much but the truth is I honeslty don't enjoy being alive. I don't like life I'm not good at it. I feel like I'm in a prison just going though the motions everyday but really I'm just waiting for death which is an upsetting realisation. The only reason I'm still going is because I couldn't put my family through it. I'm purely living for them & it's so draining. I've completly given up hoping wishing praying that things will get better & I get that not everyone has a good life but I just wish there was another way out. It's not about speaking to doctors or getting counselling or different meds its just how it is. I've put EVERYTHING into trying to make myself & my life better but I've been fighting a losing battle. I feel like I never should've been born but now I'm here it's just a constant nightmare.
Hi yes I get what you are talking about. Has nothing improved in your life for all your efforts? Maybe things have a bit but you are concentrating on those that haven't rather than those that have? Do you think this could be the case?
Unfortunately some things in life never change for most of us. We spend our lives working and many in jobs we don't like, they then have to do things like housework and lots of things we don't want to. If life doesn't seem worth it ie there aren't enough things to enjoy then sometimes it does seem to be empty and pointless.
I don't have any answers I'm afraid but just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. x
Hi yasmine333 - I know how you feel. My comfort in all of that is that this life is not forever; that my job is to negotiate it as best i can; that if i opt out by my own hand then I may well have reneged on my agreement - and I have no desire to rinse and repeat; a sense that we all get a turn in this realm and this time it's ours. Life can be a prison but one day we will all be released.
My sentiments exactly Wayne! I have successfully avoided suicide all my life and now in my 60's just waiting out my time before the grim reaper calls for me. To this aim I make my life as easy and enjoyable as possible and try not to worry about the future too much. x
Thank you for your reply, glad to see you're still on here.
No my efforts never seem worth it I just keep going because if I stop I will give up forever but then what's the point? I have absolutely no answers & no solitions but glad I have used this as an outlet x
Thank you for your reply Wayne. You're absolutely right it is just a game but with no winners in the end. I guess it's the taking part that & seeing it through until the end that counts x