Hi all I'm 34 and I've had despression and psychosis for the last year or so and although I am better than I was a year ago I'm still really struggling. I've spent two months in a psychiatric unit and am now in the care of an early intervention team. There are really great and offer lots of help. I've been suicidal for a good while and my care worker has to supervise my meds in case I down then all. I feel very numb and emotionless but I do get very down especially of an evening. It's like nothing penetrates. Food is tasteless and I feel no enjoyment from anything and look forward to nothing. There is no joy in anything. I'm now on my third antidepressant which is venlafaxine and waiting for it to kick in. Most nights I pray that I won't wake up in the morning. Don't know why I'm telling you all this just needed to write something. Does anyone else feel this way? Thank you for reading this!
Many of us feel that way, Benny. Keep up. The good fight, it will get better, eventually. Depression=struggle. But it doesn't have to win. Go for a walk. Do something for someone else. Giving back to one less fortunate than you (and there are plenty....) will uplift your spirit. Won't cure you but will be a baby step towards recovery.
Hi benny
Thats how i felt before starting venlafaxine, I have now been on it for four weeks and have found it works wonderfully well. I took me 3 ADs before the 4th one worked. (I also take mirtazipine) your depression will sick the joy out of everything, but with the right AD you will start feeling better and life will seem so much better. You are still very young, with lots of life and joy ahead. Depression tricks you into believing you will never get better. You will! It sounds like you have stopped believing this. I wished for death last year, this particular illness is so very cruel and people who haven't suffered with depression have no clue of the level of despair a sufferer feels. I would say to you, everything has a time frame, you won't always feel this way. You have a lot of living and joy ahead. Make sure you take your meds regularly and you should find venlafaxine very good for lifting your depression. Stay strong, head up, and every time a negative thought comes into your mind, try replacing it with a positive one eg. When i get better im going to do;??? .......plans for your future are important! Treat your negative thoughts like an unwanted guest!! Kick them out! Stay in touch
god bless ♥♥
Thank you for your advice it means a lot to get a reply I will try and keep my head up. Hope you're ok and thank you!
Thank you Lorraine that means a great deal and thank you for sharing that you've been on various meds and your struggle. You're right about everything and I will do my best to think more positively. I will keep in touch and hopefully things will get better soon. X
Hi I agree with the others and I really hope you are feeling a bit better very soon. One thing I do is every time I have a negative thought I immediately follow it with a positive one ie negative - I am a lazy cow for being so late to get up this morning. Positive - well done for getting out of bed at all feeling like this. I have realised that I now do this automatically. Try it. x
Thank you and you're right to try and challenge the negative thoughts. I'll do my best to follow your advice I hope you're ok and I really appreciate your reply. X
Keep strong mate. There is a lot of happiness to be had out of life if you keep searching. Tough times don't last,tough people do.
You will have a lot more going for you than you realises,it's just a case of searching deep.dont wver quit on yourself.fond something that gives you happiness and focus on it and take little steps from there. You need goals and a starting point. Be strong bro
It will take a month for the tablets to work so keep calm and take it as easy as you can.
Hi Benny,
im new here too. You have my sincere empathy. Depression is a monster, it can make life very difficult. Something I've noticed about people that suffer depression (I know lots of people with depression because I've been hospitalised many times) is that they tend to be some of the most patient and kind people. Life isn't easy for those of us who suffer depression, so we know a thing or two about struggle and hardship. I used to take Venlafaxine and I did find it very helpful,,particularly for my anxiety.
My only advice is that it's early days yet for you on your current treatment plan so go easy on yourself, don't expect too much of yourself. I think you are doing the right thing by looking for a therapeutic community online. Sadly the torment of depression and other mental illnesses isn't understood by the majority of people and as far as I'm concerned that includes GPs. It sounds like you have had a very rough year. I hope you're now on a new page, where you can begin to manage depression.
like I said, I'm new here too, but I'm sure you'll find good advice and kindness here, that's always been my experience of other people who suffer with depression.
That's a great reply JackDM. Welcome to the site. We are a very supportive and kind bunch so please stay with us. x
Thank you Richard! It's a case or repeatedly reminding oneself that they will work eventually I guess.
Thank you Paul really appreciate it, I find that nothing really gives me any happiness but I'll do my best to keep my head up and keep going and hopefully find something I can focus on.
Thank you Jack I really do appreciate it and you're right depression is such a monster but I am beginning to express how I'm feeling and this is a major step for me. Thank you for your advice and sharing a little of your story. I hope you're ok and thank you!
That's the thing with depression mate,it is a big mask. It mask over things you enjoy it beleive me underneath the mask there is happiness for things somewhere. As I say it's a case of digging deep. It will shine through eventually and the medication will help that happen.these are not just kind words,they are facts and you have to we believing. . You will have ups and down along the way
Cheers Paul I know you're right and I will keep plugging away! Hope you're ok
Hi Benny,
How are you feeling now? You have had some really positive replies and it sounds like you are a fighter and have the right attitude. What are some of the things that you did used to enjoy? I'm a big reader and at my lowest I stopped reading altogether. I have re-discovered my love of a good book now :-)
Also my therapist taught me some really effective self-soothing techniques which helped me to savour food again, enjoy music and immerse myself in experiencing the moment in whatever I did. Good luck my friend. Keep in touch :-)
Hi Digsby thank you so much for your message and getting in touch. I'm pleased to hear you've made progress and are starting to enjoy things again. I'm still really struggling to honest and am constantly preoccupied by thoughts of self harm and suicide. I've talked to care worker about it and I'm being seen by her almost daily now. I feel very low and down and a burden on those who love me. I just want everything to be normal again and to be happy but can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I am doing what I can to try and combat this; helping others, going for walks etc. I'm being as open as I can with my care worker and psychiatrist and have great support.
I'm really glad to hear that you have good support on a daily basis. What you are experiencing is not your fault and it's natural to want to feel "normal" again and have the life back that we used to enjoy. Depression is so frustrating but try to keep hope alive and tackle one day at a time - I know it's a cliche because time works in the same way anyway but don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's good to make plans and have something to look forward to. I sometimes haven't got the energy to go through with social plans I have made but I try to keep myself as active as I can. I hope that you have a breakthrough very soon. Hang in there ;-)
Thank you Digsby I really appreciate what you're saying and you're completely right keeping active is so important even if it feels like a real effort. It's like a dark tunnel you just have to get through I guess.