Firstly apologies to all Scotsman. Some of us on this forum are not having the best of weekends so to try and cheer a few of you up I have a joke or two to lighten the load we all bear with PMR.
I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"
One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you idiot!"
So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?”
And that's the last thing I remember.
And then there were another Scotish couple.
An elderly Scotsman and woman, both in their 70's, walk into a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, “What can I do for you?”
The man says, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice, that he agrees.
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, “There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them £50, and says good bye.
A week later the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.
This happens several weeks in a row. The couple make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, “I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?”
The man says, “We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I’m married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges £98
The Hilton charges £139.
We do it here for £50, and I get £43 back from BUPA.”