I discovered some years later that back in the 90's I was being bullied by my boss, eventually I told him where he could stick the job, left my wife, bought a pushbike and tent and travelled the country for 3-4 months. Eventually I went to live with my Mum and in the following year was able to find a new job. BUT 4 or 5 years later I had an attack of 'de javu'. I was lucky the company had a special 'stress' phoneline and the therapist I visited was amazing. 2-3 months later I returned to work. BUT every few years something happens and all the symptoms flare up again. My doctors will let me have a couple of weeks of tablets but as before I have been referred to 'talking therapies'. These have worked in the past BUT why do they come back. I personally think I've no worries in the world:a great love likfe, no financial worries, I retired 6 months ago ( I wish I did it earlier) no work related stress except what shall I do today haha! BUT then BOOM I'm in the middle of a stress related panic attack, this time just because a guy let me down over a gardening job which was exacerbated by an aquaintance following me home when I told him not too! Strange guy maybe he is more 'mad' than me! 20 years now and it just won't go away. I've read all the literature I've attempted breathing, wellbeing etc. etc. I feel that doesn't always work, it definitely hasn't for me. I just think it seems to be an 'illness' that I will have for the rest of my life BUT it does really physically hurt, affects your life 'big time'. I am really lucky this time to have an absolutely amazing girlfriend BUT this 'stupid' feeling is just like a lifetime sentence. I am awaiting touch wood another course of counselling but I feel it will only be a matter of time if I ever escape from this 'illness' until it happens again. Writing this does feel like blowing off steam which seems to release some of the anxiety. Any thoughts world?
Hi I stated posting here as I need to let of steam, I need to talk to people who understand how this feels. It's crazy even after years of anxiety I can be feeling quite good one minute and bang, it's back, leaves me thinking no one knows the answer to why anxiety pops up again, I get it when you feel down it makes you feel anxious but anxiety loves to creep in unexpectedly. Don't think anybody will ever know the answer to that one. After so many years of hiding this , now I know how to manage it better and I don't feel as lonely as I honestly thought nobody else knew how this felt, just such an awful feeling , anxiety making us anxious about why it happens? Crazy maddening illness that affects so many. Glad you have a great life in general, wish we knew what sets this off❤️
Thanks for your reply, yea I understand but I've never been able to control it even after numerous CBT courses and counselling... which I am about to embark on again. It is strange that my life on a whole is great but this awful anxiousness and anxiety comes out of nowhere and for the most stupid irrelevant things. Good Luck
Thanks Mike. Totally agree, can't get our heads round how we can have a great life in general yet anxiety still surfaces from goodness knows where and makes us worry and feel rotten, I try to focus on the positives, ( obviously not easy with anxiety peering over my shoulder,) but it is manageable, just so frustrating. Great outlet, and great advice here. My hubby is great but having never had anxiety he can only understands so much, hope it has helped you posting, just a little reasurance and support helps❤️