One day at a time

Mental health
1

Hi, 

I'm in my mid twenties and don't want to see my late twenties.

I've been severely depressed since October 2013.  I am emotionally bullied at work, every single day of my working life.  I'm not confident enough to confront them and I'm not strong enough to leave.  I've never felt so low in all time alive and my self esteem and confidence is just shattered.

I feel like everyday is getting longer and I'm constantly thinking of ways to end the emotional pain I'm suffering.  

I have a wonderful family, an incredible boyfriend and great friends, but none of those matter to me when I'm contemplating going home alone and ending it all.

My curiosity is getting the better of me and I'm now thinking about life and death probably every five minutes.

I've been to the DRS maybe 6/7 times and they keep telling me other than force feeding me anti-depressants there isn't a quick or easy solution and talking to 'qualified'people isn't helping.

Is there anyone else who can relate?

 

2

Hi Shiloh,

Sorry you are having such a bad time.

You need to be strong, things can get better, but you need to help yourself and seek support from your loved ones.

I've suffered with depression for the majority of my life, and have tried to take my own life, which was the scariest situation ive ever been in, and i would never try it again.

What's your choices? end it all, and thats it, no more seeing your family, just nothingness, or you can keep trying, and things will improve, yes it does take time unforntuanely, there is no quick fix.

Medication can help to ease your symptoms, so i would try them.

Regarding your work situation, you need to report the bullying, you shouldn't have to put up with this.

Have you told your loved ones how you feel? if not please do this.

I know it's very difficult, but please don't give up.

Take care x

3

Hi Callamatie.

I'm trying to be strong but it's all a front that I put on. 

My family are incredible but they can't seem to help what goes on inside my head and nor can I, that's the scary thing.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been suffering depression too, you sound so strong even in the way you type.

I feel so selfish everytime I think of ending my life.  There are people who are fighting so hard for one more day to live and I feel so terrible.  But if i could give them all the days I am meant to have I would.

I've been placed on medication but due to a serious heart condition I've been taken off of them as it was causing problems with my respiration.

I have reported it and nothing has happened so I've now got to go further.

x

 

4

Aw, yea i know what you mean, i put up a front for years, just bottled it up, but it made it so much worse.

I wouldn't say im depressed now, but it's a constant battle trying not to slip back into it again, it's hard to imagine how bad i was before, i remember being constantly scared, and i really didn't understand it.

I know it's much easier for me to sit behind my computer and give advice, its soooo much harder ro actually do it!

Don't feel bad, you can't help how you feel, it is an illness, and you need to be treated.

I would suggest to try something like yoga, and swimming, something to keep your mind relaxed, and keep fit too.

I go swimming once a week now, and it defintely helps lift my mood.

Unfortuntely you do have to be very persistant with the doctors, there must be an alternative for you, take someone with you, so they can help explain, if you break down, that you need help.

I know its a horrible feeling wanting to kill yourself, it really is so sad that we have to get so low to even think about it. But its not the answer, so please don't try it.

Things will get better, even though right now it seems impossible.

Take care hun x