So I've had quite a lot of trouble recently. Went to the doctor and he thought I had prostatitis or something similar. Weird because there were no bacteria found in my urine. Now I've had a lot of complaints such as: Pain in groin, weird pain in glans penis, pain in lower back, hip, pain with urinating etc. I went to a pelvic floor muscle physiotherapist (don't actually the right word for that in English) and she came to the conclusion I have a hypertonic pelvic floor. So that explains most pains. Now I'm going to start this Monday with exercises. But also since a week I have less feeling when I have an orgasm. The feeling is just way less, it's declined and the orgasm also lasts way shorter. It's just not the climax anymore that I always had. My question is: is this also related to the hypertonic pelvic floor muscles? I can't actually find anything about this weird problem. Some sites vaguely refer to this problem as "likely" to occur because of this problem. Or might it be because I just masturbate a little to much (daily)? Or because of stress/anxiety (I have been really stressed and kinda depressed with these problems because I didn't know what it could be)? I'm 23, virgin and that's why I'm the most concerned about this. If it stays like this I might as well give up on finding a girl, because why should I have sex if it doesn't even feel "rewarding".. I know a relationship is't all about sex, but it's a big deal for me since I'm a 23 year old virgin. Anyway, I hope someone can help me out with this. If it's because of the hypertonic pelvic floor, it'll explain a lot, but as I said: I can't quite find anything about this. Only people that have lost the orgasm feeling completely, but that's not the case with me and I hope it doesn't go that way. Thanks in advance.
Here are some of the things I have noted down from reading through your Forum Post:
The problem with Westernised medical practitioners is they do not have the opportunity to do an in-depth analysis of what what each presenting problem each individual patient brings to them. They often make presumptions, or prescribe treatments for the thing that is most likely to be the cause of a problem. Therefore, your erroneous prostatitis “or something similar” was suggested.
There are a great deal of articles in ‘Men’s Health type literature that talk about “Kegel’s for Men”.
Look up Kegel Exercises for Men - UCLA Urology.
Up until now in our discussion (and I think I have mentioned this to you on another Forum Post on this site) the answer to what you have will not come from Westernised Medicine. Instead the best form of dealing with what you have going on will come from Alternative or Complimentary Therapies, in addition, you should also look at the Holistic health benefits of the practices of Yoga and Pilates.
In terms of you regular masturbation my suggestion would be to take an extended ‘holiday’ from this and give the process of healing time to have some beneficial impact. This in real terms does not equate to a matter of days, weeks or even a matter of a few months. Healing for you I would suggest is going to be an extended process, and in practical terms it may actually mean you will need to try many different things. So, masturbating on a daily basis with what you are currently experiencing is not going to be a satisfying process. Either vastly reduce the amount of masturbation, or take a complete break from it for as long as you can.
You then go on to talk about potential satisfying relationships in the future and I am glad you recognise that “a relationship is’t all about sex” so what I would say is that there are some married men who are completely incapable of satisfying their partner, but yet still have close, loving satisfying relationships. YOU are capable of functioning sexually, only, at this point in time the sexual practices that you currently have are not as satisfying as they once were, at the moment. Therefore you have no idea how satisfying a sex partner would find a sexual relationship with you would be to THEM personally.
Hopefully by then you will have found a way of dealing with what you have now and you will be fully happy again with your sexual performance and the feelings that go with that ……
Hi, thanks for your answer! I am going to take a break from masturbating for at least a week and then see what it does. But might it have to do something with my pelvic floor muscles? Or is it just not as satisfying anymore because I’m used to it? I really hope I get the full sensation back otherwise I’m kinda hart broken. I mean, it’s kinda a hard thing to say, but I might be to satisfy her, but if I can’t pleasure from it, there is no point for me to even begin a relationship. Since I’m a virgin and it’s a big deal for me.
So should I also call a doctor and see what he thinks about it? I mean the feeling is still there, but it declined. I will take a break from it and see how it goes. I’ll also ask my physiotherapist about it. But do you think it might have to do something also with my pelvic floor? Or maybe psychological. Or maybe I’m too used to it. So a break might do it.
I think I have added everything I can about pelvic floor muscles, time to look up a description that makes the most sense to you of what it is about and what you need to do, and then start doing them.
My general observation would be that you are going over the top about the whole situation, and you are talking about situations, such as a relationship that has not even happened yet, for example. As many would suggest, find the right partner, and if the person means that much to you, and that feeling is mutual, you will find a way of making the relationship work for the both of you, irrespective of whether you experience ‘seismic’ 10 out of 10 orgasms for you each time you have sex, or not.
So yes, try to take a break from masturbation for as long as you can: a week is a good starting point, 3 weeks better, 7 weeks or more better still. This might give you the opportunity to focus on the other things in life that are meaningful and pleasurable to you, but it totally different ways also. Perhaps you could think of a little ‘project’ such as going along to where people of your own age hang out, and perhaps think how you can get to meet Girls that you could get to know, rather seeing them as potential dates and sexual partners. It is the low level chatting to young women, and feeling comfortable so that conversations can develop, then when you really know someone recognise that they are not checking out how well your genitalia is function before wanting to get to know you even further.
If you have a Family or Regular Doctor or GP that you already know go and explain the whole situation to them and see what they make of it …