Over coming fear of Procedures. Need help

Other conditions
1

About two years ago I was struck with a bowel issue after going to a wedding .

I really want to get it sorted as I’ve not had a normal pooing experience for nearly 2 years now.

Last may I was advised to go for a colonospcopy. I even got as far as doing a poo test and it came back positive for blood.

Luckily for me, I don’t have a fear of blood, needles, or white coats. But I do have this phobia of pipes, tubes, and fingers going in , up and down places they shouldn’t. So I cancelled it as the side effects from my anxiety were out weighing the symptoms I was feeling from this.

Unfortunately due to the mess the NHS is in, waiting times for appointments etc is long. So in the time I wait, my anxiety levels reach new heights, and I end up bottling out. Its silly really because if I could just walk into a Dr’s or Hospital and say ‘Sort me now’ I would have had it done because some days I feel braver than others.
Generally I feel fine. Maybe a bit of discomfort now and again, but I’m not in any pain with my problem, so I don’t really think about it all the time. Its more the inconvenience my bowel issue causes. But I know once I’ve poo’d I’ll be fine again for a while.

People say try therapist etc, but that costs and I can’t afford it at the mo as my job is on the line.

I’ve crossed a few barriers already. I’m trying to train my brain. I know mentally, Dr’s and Hospitals are their to help me get better. And I want to get better. I know they don’t want to or enjoy making you feel uncomfortable. I know 1000’s of people a day go and get treated for far worse stuff. And I know that any procedure probably won’t be as bad as I thought it would be.
And I am capable of ringing up, and going, because I rang them before about this issue, and have been in to see them about 4 years ago with a water infection. So I can do it.

In some ways, I would actually prefer to go into a Dr’s surgery than just do a phone consultation even though I’m ‘safe’ at home from being prodded, poked etc . But the waiting times etc, I now get Anxiety about getting anxiety.

I just can’t seem to mentally cross this line. I know I should, I know I can. I even bottled out of a blood test incase they found anything even though instigated it. I felt brave booking it, but then the day before I felt less brave so cancelled it.

Anyway suggestions or help would be great. Thanks.

2

my best possible advice to you, as someone who has chronic bowel issues, is to bite the bullet and definitely get the tests done sooner rather than later. go to a therapist and get some anti-anxiety meds before if you need them to help you move through the diagnosing process. i was born with a bleeding internal hemorrhoid, and just finally got it diagnosed at the end of last year and got it fixed 12 days ago. after living with it for 30 years partially due to fear and anxiety and partially due to many misdiagnosis, the surgery was quick and 12 days post-op, i am about 75% recovered.
however, because i waited SO long, i had several bad complications, and must have the surgery repeated in a few months, as the surgeon could only take 2/3s of my issues out because of how bad it was.
hopefully whatever your diagnosis is will be found Early enough to not need surgery! but if it is something that needs to be fixed surgically, trust me when i say its better to be found and fixed sooner and not wait!

good luck, i truly hope you can find peace enough to get through the diagnosing process and get your life back to normal soon. i know how much bowel issues can mess up someones quality of life!

3

Thank you

Sadly, like I said, I can’t afford the therapy. Might be loosing my job and its £50 a session.

4

oof. im sorry. thats definitely a tough position to be in. have you tried maybe researching online yourself and looking up ways to cope with severe anxiety? that would be a free way to maybe learn enough to be able to get through this! i would highly suggest doing so and trying some of the mental exercises for anxiety and the deep breathing techniques to at least try to calm it as much as possible since therapy isnt an option financially for you at the moment. you could look into online articles that are geared towards CBT coping techniques. (cbt is “cognitive behavioral therapy” and has some special types of methods to helping anxiety that can be done with no meds.) maybe trying some of those techniques could at least help you enough to move along with the medical process so you can try to get things fixed physically for yourself! regardless, my heart goes out to you because i know how bad physical AND anxiety issues can be, and im sorry youre struggle. im rooting for you and hoping you can get through it and get everything done though! :slight_smile:

5

Thank you. Appreciate the support.
I’ve tried all kinds of self mental help with it.

Watching youtube videos on Colonoscopies. I’ve heard if you face the things you fear and make yourself more immune to it, it makes it easier to cope with . So have been watching lots of videos on the procedure. And reading the comments in the comments section. The comments put me at ease because most people say its not a bad procedure . But then watching the video makes me anxious.

I’ve tried thinking to myself, its a tiny tiny portion of my life , to make the greater portion of my upcoming life better. Where as the issue I have with my tummy, could make the rest of my life uncomfortable.

I’ve tried getting into the mindset of “Its easy. I’m unwell, the Dr’s are on my side, they want me to feel better, I want to feel better. Its only what everyone else does.”

Also have been thinking, would any procedure really be any more uncomfortable than what I go through sometimes with this issue ? I’ve bared this for two years, would another uncomfortable sensation really make a difference ?

6

i understand all of those thoughts and feelings well. i lived with my condition for 30 years before getting it fixed and it was far too long. it sounds like youre on the right track researching and trying to reason with yourself though! if a colonoscopy is your next step, ive had that done three times actually! if it makes you feel any better at all, they were a breeze. went very fast and i was asleep for the process. woke up later and it was all done. keep reassuring yourself and keep your spirits up. the testing will always be better than living with a condition that makes you uncomfortable/in pain the majority of the time. i know anxiety is awful before having tests done. ive canceled maaaany tests once or twice before finally getting them done because the anxiety was just too deep the day before the tests. sometimes it takes a couple tries to actually be able to go through with it. but i bet if you keep trying to get it done, eventually you will be able to go through with it!

7

i understand all of those thoughts and feelings well. i lived with my condition for 30 years before getting it fixed and it was far too long. it sounds like youre on the right track researching and trying to reason with yourself though! if a colonoscopy is your next step, ive had that done three times actually! if it makes you feel any better at all, they were a breeze. went very fast and i was asleep for the process. woke up later and it was all done. keep reassuring yourself and keep your spirits up. the testing will always be better than living with a condition that makes you uncomfortable/in pain the majority of the time. i know anxiety is awful before having tests done. ive canceled maaaany tests once or twice before finally getting them done because the anxiety was just too deep the day before the tests. sometimes it takes a couple tries to actually be able to go through with it. but i bet if you keep trying to get it done, eventually you will be able to go through with it!

8

Yes you’re probably right there. Its the phoning up, making an appointment etc is the obsticle. I’ve already cancelled two appointments Like I said, if I could just walk into a Dr’s one day, or hospital, I’d just do it.

What I need to do, and sometimes hope for is to go in with a totally seperate issue to get me used to Dr’s etc. But nothing ever goes wrong with me. I seem to be very healthy everywhere else.

So good to be able to talk to someone else who feels the same. Cheers

9

Interesting you say you slept through it. I didn’t think in the UK they let you sleep because they want you to be able to roll over mid procedure. I know in the US judging by the videos I’ve watched , that they put you under , or give you an option, but I’ve never heard of anyone in the UK being put to sleep.

I friend of mine has to have one every year due to Crohns disease, and she’s always awake. Sedated but always awake. I guess its just pot luck if you fall asleep. If I go ahead with it, I’m gonna deprive myself of sleep the night before so I flake out.