For I don't know how long I believe depression has been manifesting itself until now where it's starting to affect my life.
I always feel that everything in life seems pointless. Anything that anybody does is more or less for the progression of humanity. Out of a massive universe we are stuck on this tiny little planet and on this planet it's filled with corruption and greed. Everyday something good and bad happens. Everyday someone can die and everything they achieved laid to waste. Over time and that person's name will be forgotten like the many others that have died.
I'll one day be working 5 days a week for the rest of my life, and unless it's a job I really enjoy then even at that it's still isn't a pleasant life.
These are some of the things I think about, and it probably doesn't help me any. Probably one of the reasons I've gotten far more depressed.
To give more insight, I am lacking a lot of motivation, I can't find any will power to do work for university, I struggle at times to even get out of bed to go to university. Sometimes my head feels heavy and I just do nothing but play games all day as it takes my mind of things. I am 23 years of age, never exercise and very rarely leave the house. Its the I have always been. I have never been a fan of going out drinking, and socialising. I prefer to sit in and browse the web and play games. I do find that when I am out I feel alot better for some reason, and when I return home the atmosphere gets to me and I feel I just can't work or do much.
I need some advice, I really don't know how to get out of this state of mind. I don't want medication, I can do without. I don't know what's the cause for this, my lack of exercise? Never leaving the house? Or is it just something that's appeared?
Before you mention anything relating to sucide, I'd like to put you at ease by saying I have thought about it and as far as I'm concerned it's not an option.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and your advice.